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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to Dads birthday BBQ?

46 replies

Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 11:39

Was Dads birthday yesterday so went round for a few hours (he's not local). Whilst there was asked what my plans for tomorrow are.. Replied nothing just washing and the normal stuff. Dad said oh good you can come here for my birthday BBQ and bring your older brother over (both us live at home with Mum). After speaking to brother I have learnt that he was asked over a week ago. The first I heard was yesterday although saw Dad last weekend.

AIBU to not go? Am pissed off with the fact im expected to give brother a lift at my expense of petrol & that I was only told yesterday.

Sorry for long post

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 02/09/2012 12:19

Ring up, apologise and say that something has come up.
Old friend
car breakdown
illness

pigletmania · 02/09/2012 12:24

Exactly CSI, if yu do go, bring your oh, if you bring your oh there might not be enough room for your brother and the others, oh dear that won't do

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 12:47

Haven't gone, text Dad saying
'not coming today as 1. I feel I'm bring used as a taxi service which I am not! 2. I feel you dont want me there as you only invited yesterday which seems an after thought to me.

Instead I'm off out for lunch with the OH as we are a pair not singles!!

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 02/09/2012 12:58

good for you.
:)

ENormaSnob · 02/09/2012 13:00

Good on you.

They were taking the piss.

BoneyBackJefferson · 02/09/2012 13:07

Keep the text and when/if this kicks off send it to your dad.

ScooseIsLoose · 02/09/2012 13:12

Good for you op Grin

waltermittymissus · 02/09/2012 13:19

Was your OH specifically not invited though? If I was invited to a family party, I would assume that the invitation included my DH!

As for your brother. You were absolutely right not to take him. :)

PigletJohn · 02/09/2012 13:42

You were definitely right not to provide a lift to that git.

pigletmania · 02/09/2012 14:10

Good on you. Keep us updated Smile

GravyHadALumpyMashBaby · 02/09/2012 14:15

Good for you OP. Hope you're ok, and have a great day with DP instead.

Thumbwitch · 02/09/2012 14:22

Good for you! I wouldn't have gone either under those circumstances. Shockingly rude of your Dad!

My parents were not as bad as your Dad sounds, but they did have a tendency to assume I could fit in with their plans at very short notice - so I refused to do anything unless I had at least 2 days notice, preferably more. It was just so rude of them to assume my life was so devoid of anything else that I'd jump at the chance for some kind of family thing over the weekend. Mostly, to be fair, I did have something else going on - but even if I didn't, I often refused on principle.

The worst one was something I really wanted to go to, my Dad left a message for me about it 2 hours before it was happening and I wasn't even in the same fucking county. All he needed to do was let me know the day before and I could have come back for it - but no, it wasn't worth his bother letting me know in sufficient time. It was a one-off thing as well - really upsetting. :( Angry

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 16:44

Update
Brother and his OH went to BBQ on the bus Grin
Dad replied saying I was overreacting etc etc

Had a long boozy lunch with my OH and Mum Smile

What a shit day for a bbq

OP posts:
PigletJohn · 02/09/2012 17:00

forward Dad that shitty text from git brother.

i have a git sister like that.

Won't ever even pay for a parking ticket, never mind share petrol. She can take the bus now.

Guiltypleasures001 · 02/09/2012 17:19

Nice one Dord, hope your Mum was suitably sniggering as well, what a bunch of self serving narnas they sound.

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 17:24

Mums fuming with Dad & trying to resist texting him. In my Dads eyes my older brother & lil sister are the golden children and me and my lil brother have to just put up with it

OP posts:
Guiltypleasures001 · 02/09/2012 17:28

I wouldnt let it escalate any more, thank mum for her support, and let them simmer, cause you know they will be, which to be honest is even better than further engaging them. Have another drink and enjoy the self rightous feelings your all currently having lol....

HissyByName · 02/09/2012 17:30

Well... lets hope when.it comes to caring for him in his old age that he backs the right horse eh? Let the golden kids do it all, you just focus on the family that HAVE been there for you.!

Good for you OP! Sounds like you had a lovely lunch. Stop letting these people treat you like this.

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 18:58

Keep getting texts from Dad am not replying. More important things to do - organise the treasure hunt for the boys I nanny woo!!Smile

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 02/09/2012 19:06

Your poor mum having to have that lump of a son living with her.

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 19:15

Imperial - he moved out into Dads then came back as Dad asked him not to come in off his face on drugs drunk at 4am on weekdays. He didn't like it so came back where Mum keeps a key in door so he can't come in at 4am

OP posts:
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