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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think everyone must fart in front of their other half at some point?...

114 replies

EmptyCrispPackets · 01/09/2012 22:36

I had a convo with a friend, and she said her OH would never fart in front of her and vice versa.. They've been married a fair few years.

I don't make a habit of lifting cheeks and being obvious but if I need to do it I do. The tummy ache can be a killer

I'll also wee if he's in the bath (on the toilet obviously).

Is it me or is it just unrealistic to think you would never be able to not do it at some point when living with someone long term?

OP posts:

PuppyMonkey · 01/09/2012 23:40

Never have, never will my arse. I don't believe you.

MsVestibule · 01/09/2012 23:46

I moved in with DH after we'd been together about 18 months. Neither of us had heard/smelt each other pump. I thought he was a freak of nature, he thought I was just normal .

However, within about 2 days, he showed his true colours and frequently farts with pride, but fortunately no odour. I'm more of the silent but deadly type and while he looks af me with disgust, I'm sure it amuses him really...

However, neither of us have ever been to the toilet in front of each other and never will .

BigHairyLeggedSpider · 01/09/2012 23:49

I will happily fart in front of DP. He's my best friend. Sometimes, if he's really annoyed me, I'll fart ON him. His children fart on him too. So do the cats. He's like a trumpsponge....

I will wee in front on him but not willingly poo. I get cross with him when he poos with the door open (first thing in the morning, bedroom next to bathroom, not nice) because I don't want to hear/smell/imagine it.

If I run a bath in my house it seems to be the trigger for everyone elses bowels. Bath running.... first one goes and poos, then the other, and then the other. Nice relaxing soak turns into a miasma of stench and steam. Bastards.

TheCrackFox · 01/09/2012 23:55

"never have, never will"

What a load of bollocks, how could anyone possibly guarantee that a cheeky pump won't just slip out in the next 40yrs?

Squibsquib · 01/09/2012 23:56

It's a kind of victory in our house when someone has a loud or really stinky fart! We all find it hilarious. We also all have a wee with the door open (shock horror).
My dh has seen me give birth to 3 dc's, I'm hardly gonna care about a guff!

Yama · 02/09/2012 00:03

I have been pregnant and we only have one toilet. I think that answers all questions on this thread.

QueenofPlaids · 02/09/2012 00:06

I'm sure I've commented on similar threads, but anyway we both have IBD, in my case (whic is a it more severe) moderate ulcerative colitis. Flatulence comes as standard and in a flare? Well just be happy it's just gas.

Seriously? We could care less. I'm sure we don't try to to fart, but we do get some comedy moments. Like this morning when we woke up (I often cuddle up to DP while he reads the news). Anyway, I declared DP was a little sweetie, at which he inadvertently let rip and declared that no, he was a gas giant .

I guess you have be there / have a bowel issue / whatever.

I get that people make an effort for their partner and hopefully themselves I really do. I do it myself. But I do worry about people who wouldn't even fart in front of their OH. OH has had to take me to the bathroom in one instance of I'll health - how do these relationships transition?

Otoh if you just find it really easy to avoid farting, more power to you & I wish I had that ability particularly in key meetings with senior management

Hownoobrooncoo · 02/09/2012 00:17

oh we have done much more than fart - childbirth, having one loo and a STD sort of does away with the refined manners.

in the past few years i have been away on weekends with girlfriends. I've shared beds beds and kept myself awake holding onto the farts. Throughout the night i've actually woken myself up with uncontrolled farts, they just can't be stopped. Honest is the best policy!

ThePigOnTheWall · 02/09/2012 00:20

I'd bet my mortgage on it. You can doubt me all you like

axure · 02/09/2012 00:39

GreenEyesAndHam I also let rip in the car driving home from work, blessed relief!
DH not at all shy about bodily functions, talks to people on the phone whilst having a dump, drops his guts whilst we're out shopping, then walks off and leaves me with the smell, or blames me out loud. Once he texted me a pic of what he'd just done in the loo whilst we we were out in the pub. OMG wondering why I'm still married now...

BurlingtonBertieFromBow · 02/09/2012 00:51

My ex thought that he'd never farted in front of me but he had in fact done a tuneful one while asleep. He looked so peaceful.

Then once we were walking through town and he slipped off the kerb and one popped out.

I think I maybe did one once because he was tickling me.

We never went to the loo in front of one another

FuckityFuckFuck · 02/09/2012 01:04

I have absolutely no dignity with OH when it comes to bodily functions. Being pregnant/after giving birth and a dodgy (now removed) gall bladder have robbed me of any chance of lady-like appearances :o

Must humiliating was the time he was sleeping on the floor because the bed had broken, I was in pain because of my gall bladder at the time (which is why I got the bed). I thought I was going to fart, nope, I shat the bed and then had to step over him to go to the bathroom and he had to sort the bed out after me Farting really is nothing after that :o

Empusa · 02/09/2012 01:16

How do people not do it? Do they run out of the room? What if they are on a long car journey?

Same as most people I've been through pregnancy and childbirth, dignity? What dignity?

Jinsei · 02/09/2012 01:38

I'm amazed at how many people attempt not to fart in front of their OHs. In the early days of a relationship, yes of course, but surely with a life partner, you can accept each other's normal bodily functions without embarrassment. Seems a little uptight to me, but each to their own.

sashh · 02/09/2012 05:47

When my grandparents married many, many moons ago (1930s) someone at my grandfather's work wasked. about a month later, "have thee farted in' bed yet?"

ettiketti · 02/09/2012 07:42

My best friend and her DH have never farted in front of one another in 25+ years!!

Barely 25 minutes go past some days in my house, I'm the worst, to my shame.

TyrionTheImp · 02/09/2012 09:44

Of course you can't stop it happening accidentally. But in 13yrs it's never happened accidentally thankfully. And if I can help it, it'll never happen in the future.

I'm not saying anything about whilst asleep or unwell etc but when there's a choice involved, I choose not to do it around other people.

mosschops30 · 02/09/2012 10:01

I have 2 friends who dont fart in front of their dh's.
I find it bizarre that you would need to hold it in or leave the room in your own house
I will wee in front of dh but not poo

Poppedcorn · 02/09/2012 10:16

Goodness me, we do it all the time a lot. But then I have a childish humour..

My most humiliating one was just after DS1 was born. I was sitting on loo, naked, and DH and midwife chatting outside the room. I fainted, and slumped against wall but still sitting on the throne. They rushed in and I came to - midwife kneeling in front of me and DH to the side/bending over me to lift me. I trumped, loudly. To make it worse, DH asked 'Did you just fart?' and the midwife sniggered. I cried.

melonandpapayaandmango · 02/09/2012 11:42

I don't really burp but I fart a lot.

Can't believe someone called them a pump - what a horrible word!

Hownoobrooncoo · 02/09/2012 12:50

why is pump horrible - any more so than fart or trump? We used pump all the time as kids.

Thumbwitch · 02/09/2012 12:56

While it annoys me how prolific DH is in the farting department, I'd never expect him to hold it in all the time. I do object to the buttock-raising at the dinner table though, that's just unnecessary.

He, OTOH, gets quite arsey (no pun intended) if I fart in front of him - apparently that's "disgusting". Well if he can do it, then I can too. DS finds it all utterly hilarious of course.

Will wee in front of him but not poo. DS won't even poo in front of us if he can avoid it (he's 4.8), he sends us out of the room whenever possible (not always possibly in cubicles) and he won't come into the bathroom while either of us are pooing either, which is great.

grimbletart · 02/09/2012 14:00

How can you be with someone for years, had sex -way more intimate than farting - maybe being witnessed giving birth -again way more intimate and undignified than farting - and not feel able to fart in front of them?

PorkyandBess · 02/09/2012 14:10

My dh never stops farting, even when he's asleep.

We always go to the loo in front of each other.

I would have no issue with farting in front of him but I don't think I have ever have. I am just not a farty person and I always hold any hint of them in, even when I am on my own!

theinets · 02/09/2012 16:38

I have never farted in front of my partner and we've been together 8 years. Disgusting lack of dignity some people seem to have.

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