To think everyone must fart in front of their other half at some point?...

[EmptyCrispPackets]

I had a convo with a friend, and she said her OH would never fart in front of her and vice versa.. They've been married a fair few years.

I don't make a habit of lifting cheeks and being obvious but if I need to do it I do. The tummy ache can be a killer

I'll also wee if he's in the bath (on the toilet obviously).

Is it me or is it just unrealistic to think you would never be able to not do it at some point when living with someone long term?

My dad would fart in front of the queen!

im sorry hidden home but if a cat smelt as bad as my DP he would have been rehomed a long time ago! haha

We try not to.

However once I came home after eating out at work, and I'd had loads of bread and wine. Felt the farts brewing so made my excuses to leave the room but DH the bastard followed shortly after and I'd already started "releasing". Sadly I couldn't stop and the shock on his face made me laugh and keep farting. It was like a bloody chorus

I honestly didn't used to fart except occasionally when on the loo before I got pregnant dp had never heard me fart and it wasn't any effort of concealment on my part.

While and since pregnant though, I am my own one woman windy city.

Last night we had guests and I held them in for a couple of hours as I was too lazy to get up and go to the loo, when I finally moved I was in agony, it was so bad it stopped me from sleeping, how does anyone do that on a regular basis?

Not in front of anybody,let alone DH. Pathetic,I know!

So do we fart in our sleep then? By the whiff of DS1's bedroom in the morning it must be a yes surely?

Surely everyone does...surely? If you live with someone and you are comfortable with eachother what is a fart between you. At the start of a relationship no, but in a long term relationship living together then anyone who doesn't must have some repressed issues :)

I think I read somewhere if we didn't fart at least ten times a day we would explode.

Or is that just what my brother told me to scare me for a laugh.

Nope. Been with dp 5.5 years. Never have. Never will. Neither has he.

I don't knowingly fart in front of anyone except animals and babies.

I just save them up. It doesn't cause me any discomfort or pain. After a full day at work, I let rip in the car. I can maintain perfect clutch control whilst waiting uphill at traffic lights, simultaneously gripping the steering wheel and lifting one cheek off of the drivers seat.

I say knowingly though, because I once let one go dozing on the sofa one Sunday afternoon. Mortified.

Nope. 13yrs in. Never will.

Yes it's part of my bodily functioning, and I'm not a holly oaks character.

Mind if one knows it v bad say after a curry or drink, it's
Polite to go out of room.

But sometimes you can't store a fart up it just has to come out. I can't believe people don't so sneaky silent ones. Doesn't have to be an earth shattering trump every time!

cluthc control read as crutch control snigger snigger snigger.

Just get them love balls orderd then....

I don't see the big deal. It is a perfectly natural thing the body does. EVERYONE farts. Even the Queen, and her dogs.

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DH once farted so loudly in his sleep he woke me up!!!!

I don't get the big deal about farting and can't see why it us such a taboo.

So it's true then Crack. So how do all the 'never have and never will' people get round the farting in your sleep thing? Ear Plugs?

Oooo talc you describe your job so er well!

Seriously, if onlyd ,y downstairs lavie is terrible....

Thank fuck I've remembered what it was you posted Talc that made me literally PMSL, it would have bugged me for weeks ages else

It was the 'spliff scenario' on the thread telling Hecate she's not allowed to go, very, very, very funny

I have no connections whatsoever with the company trading as TrumpMaster Flatus Processing & Methane Supplies International plc (proprietor T. Turnip MBE)

Sorry Agent.

Please feel free to forward me your dry cleaning bill.

Holding onto a fart is just not healthy, better out than in

I'm potty training DD2 at the min talc, so unphased by piss puddles.

But thanks for the offer, and the laugh