To consider having an affair?

[Spryte]

DH and I have 3 young DC. We have boring sex about once every few months, he seems happy with this and never tries to initiate anything with me, never compliments me and is not inspirational in any way.

We have spoken about it and he just hmms and ahh. To be honest I am so fed up I don't know if I'd even want to have sex with him after all this but this eve I decided to take it by the horns and suggested we take some sexy photos.

He was totally un-exited lounging on teh sofa watching TV while I tried to set the scene and get dressed up. He then asked if we could just have sex there and then and then got annoyed at teh way I tried to set up the camera. I got fed up and put my PJ's on I am just so fed up, I cannot carry on like this!!!!!

Also, the more pressure you put on him, the more he will turn away.

start boosting your own self-esteem. work on your appearance (not saying there's anything wrong with it), take some exercise, plan your outfits carefully and make planned (not necessarily expensive) purchases so that you always have the opportunity to look your best, get a good haircut.

have some of those deeply tacky studio portraits taken, where you have a make-over and look as if you might be naked but aren't. don't do the naked ones. a contact did that last year and now her photos are available for all to see online and she's not happy but she can't stop it.

take a course - anything you're interested in.

sounds like at the moment you think that your worth/value is based on whether or not men want to have sex with you. men just want a space to go, without any fuss. realise there's more to you.

you're mum to three children for a start. that's impressive. and you have energy left at the end of the day to be interested in sex. that's very impressive.

Happiness is very attractive. When I'm low and spend time mooching online and being generally grumpy, the whole family is affected. It sort of all gets into a downward spiral. It's hard to make yourself happy though - not suggesting you fake it but you can start finding little things that make you smile. Likewise, watching a hilarious film does dh and I far more good than sexy photos ever could!

Do you feel confident that you know makes him happy? We keep meaning to revisit that love language thing because life has been getting in the way over the last year and its been all about getting through jobs/days.

Hope you find ways of feeling happier and he loves it!

not meaning to imply its all down to you, just the easiest place to start often...