AIBU to have DD in this arrangement of childcare

[LittleWaveyLines]

DD is 14 months and very very intensive - she naps maybe 30mins a day and is only just starting to be able to play on her own - she needs picking up/ putting down/picking up etc about 20 times a minute....

As she is so demanding, we have ended up using slings, bedsharing etc...

Anyway, I really don't want to leave her to go back to work, but think I would go insane if I didn't as she really is very intense!

So I asked for a 50% teaching timetable or less (secondary school) but still ended up going in 4 days a week for the 50%. And as it's a 2 week timetable, my day off is different alternate weeks. So I would have to pay for 5 full days of childcare for 50% salary.

We could afford for me not to work if we live very frugally.

DP's parents seem to be happy to have her on the changeable day, and I'm sending her to a childminder for the other 3.
Due to my hours, and DP's employer being a bit flexible, most days she will be in childcare 9am - 4pm. Apart from staff meeting/ parents evenings etc, when it will be longer.

I'm feeling that it's a bit unreasonable to expect a 14 month old to thrive with being in childcare 4 days a week, even if one of those days is with family, as it is all too different. Especially a child who seems to need her mum so much. Especially as we don't actually NEED me to work.

(Other reasons for me to continue working are to keep my job (good school), pension contributions, sanity, etc)

So.... AIBU?

She will most likely be fine.... play it by ear. However you don't sound sure of your reasons for going back.........she is just a baby and prehaps she is very intense or its her age. Can she go to GPs one day a week while you enjoy a child free day? and maybe one day in childcare too?

It sounds as though they haven't dealt with your application for flexible working properly. What's their policy. How was the arrangement reached. What are your contractual terms. Strictly a flexible working request once approved cannot be changed for 12 months; however, if you aren't sure about the rules, you perhaps haven't been told them properly and therefore there is likely to be spope for negotiation. What are your contractual terms? What does the flexible working policy say?

Personally, I think you should be able to negotiate this from Xmas onwards - before that might be pushing it because of recruitment, etc., but it doesn't sound from what you have said that they have followed the correct procedure or made you aware of it.

Have a look at the paperwork and pm me if you need to.

We hijacked a little there didn't we? Sorry. I think we meant to be sympathetic, but as you say, it is probably too late to do anything about your timetable for this academic year. If I was you I would certainly bring it up again with your HOD re next year's timetable (and maybe even see if there is any flexibility from Christmas) and scout around for a new job

At our school, if you ask to go PT you also say which hours you would like to work and this is usually met. It does make things complicated and it does mean some 'split' classes, and I'm sure the leadership team would prefer to say when we worked, but it works pretty well. I'm moving schools at Christmas and will need to work full time for the first term there as the timetables were already set when I got the job, but they have promised to rearrange things when the new timetables are done and, again, I'm expecting to get a full day off, not a 0.8 timetable spread over 5 days.

Having said that, your 'work 8-5 then enjoy DD in the evenings' plan sounds perfect. I struggle to cram everything in to my four days and end up working in the evenings/weekends/while DS naps, which make me resent work a little.

Regardless of all of that, your childcare plan sounds fine and I really hope it works out for you.