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AIBU?

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HELP! Mad woman on a night out!

90 replies

melonandpapayaandmango · 31/08/2012 17:55

Oh gosh ... I've wanted to post this ALL DAY but no time and wanted to be on the laptop.

I had an awful experience last night, I had gone out with an ex colleague from work and she also had two friends with her to celebrate her birthday, I knew one of them vaguely but hadn't met the other one at all.

I had been drinking but was not drunk, I had had two and a half glasses of wine at this point!

The thing is, I cut my hand, quite badly, I didn't notice at first because it was in the fleshy part where my thumb is. It didn't hurt so I only noticed as I stood up and quite a lot of blood gushed out and went over the woman (the one I didn't know's Blush) top.

I apologised really nicely and said I was so sorry and she was all "this is brand new, it's dry clean only" and she was quite aggressive but I put it down to being upset over a new top, and I said look, get (friend) to send me the bill, I'll pay.

Then Sad she went psycho, she said, "it cost £99 and you'll pay for a new one bitch!" and jabbed me in the chest! I do not do confrontation and my heart was HAMMERING but I said "I will pay for it to be cleaned but I am not being spoken to like that!" (okay I probably squeaked it, I was upset!) friend told this woman to calm down but then told me I should just withdraw the cash from an ATM and give it to her then we could relax and enjoy our night ... I said I haven't GOT £99! This woman was all "well you'd better fucking find it!" and I am ashamed of this but I RAN out Blush mainly as I was crying but also just panicked. I got a taxi home and my phone has been going mad with messages from "friend" and her friend (she must have given her my number) and I've also had horrible Facebook messages. I rarely use Facebook, I've blocked & deleted and managed to set things so people I'm not friends with can't send me messages though.

But I'm scared! Could I be arrested for criminal damage or something?

and also, wibu to run out ... Sad

OP posts:
Smellslikecatspee · 31/08/2012 20:35

As in it will give you a giggle

RosesAreBetter · 31/08/2012 21:24

Any normal person that could afford to spend £99 on a top would be annoyed that a stranger who they had only just met that evening had bled on their new top, but of said stranger was genuinely apologetic and offered to pay for it then there shouldn't have been an issue.

But if said stranger then got up and ran off and ignored all calls texts and messages then the person has every right to be pissed off and assume that the stranger was lying about offering to pay for the top.

The woman behaved unnecessarily aggressively and there is no need to send obnoxious threatening messages, but you can see why she is pissed off with you.

IUWM I would pop into a few of your local dry cleaners and get written quotes for the cost of cleaning blood out of that kind of top, and then get an appology card and put the quotes for the dry cleaning and a cheque for the average cost and send it to the woman c/o your 'friend's' address.
Alternatively (and what I would probably do) you could get a gift certificate for the dry cleaning (most major chains offer them) and send that to her.
That way she has nothing to continue to harass you for.

lydiamama · 31/08/2012 21:33

Find the way to block them from you phone and facebbok, unfortunately I have no idea how to do so myself but you can, they are being more than horrible to you ffs

andallthatjargon · 31/08/2012 21:42

Not your fault, she is clearly bu, if she continues report her to the police for harassment, this is bullying and she is not very nice.

ShiftyFades · 31/08/2012 21:58

Gosh what a nightmare Sad
I'd have run too would have given usain bolt a run for his money

To keep the moral high ground you should still offer / send money to your ex colleague.

Only correspond with your ex colleague, contact your phone company and ask them to block the nutter's number.

Get the money (£10?) sent off ASAP.

Keep us updated.

How's your thumb / hand now?

kissingtoads · 31/08/2012 22:29

About the blood gushing bit:

if you cut the fleshy part of your thumb it can bleed quite dramatically, practically pumps out (have done this) because it's a pulse point. That's why you mustn't use your thumb to measure someone's pulse.

QI please employ me.

Latara · 31/08/2012 23:57

I get what you mean about not knowing how much you were bleeding; because i cut myself by accident on some glass 2 wks ago (2 tiny cuts on my hand) & ended up getting blood all over my mobile before i realised; yuck.

Also hands & feet both have a lot of veins & capilliaries so it's easy for even small cuts to bleed a lot... i can definitely understand how it can seem to be gushing out & a couple of spots got on this woman's top as you moved your hand.

I'm amazed that this woman wasn't more concerned about your hand, than her top - i wonder if she may have been more drunk than you realised; unless she's just a naturally aggressive person.

I don't think she deserves to have you to pay for her drycleaning after she's behaved so badly!!
She sounds like a total bitch.

Sadly i've known women of all ages who can behave like aggressive bullies; drunk or sober.

Avoid & hopefully find nicer friends.
Call the 101 number to get police advice if this woman harasses you again.

sashh · 01/09/2012 09:09

But I'm scared! Could I be arrested for criminal damage or something?

No but the people harassing you could. Stop deleting the messaages, they arae evidence.

pumpkinsweetie · 01/09/2012 09:18

The people harrassing you could be done for harrassment if you reported them.
You offered to have it dry-cleaned but she wanted the money on the spotHmmConfused
I bet you a thousand dollars the top wasn't worth any where near £99 and she had lied to get some free dosh! Must have been a lightbulb moment for her when you bled on her topGrin!
They are harrassing you because they didn't get their free cash, report them

Goldenbear · 01/09/2012 09:30

Rosesarebetter, in what 'normal' world you inhabit is different to mine. I can't believe people behave like this, 'it cost me £99 and you'll pay for a new one bitch'. OP I can see why you ran for it- self preservation presumably?

SundaeGirl · 01/09/2012 10:02

You could always say you know of a specialist dry cleaner, if the colleague drops the top with you then you'll get it done. That way at least you are in control.

However, once someone had demanded that you buy them a top using the word 'bitch' I really think you can walk off.

savoycabbage · 01/09/2012 10:13

I would ring the 'friend' and tell her that you offered to pay for the dry cleaning but you are not going to be shouted at or bullied on a night out, so you left. That's not how you should behave when someone has an accident.

natsmum100 · 01/09/2012 10:22

UABU to refer to her as "the lady". Clearly she is not.

Hope you're okay. Try not to worry.

avivabeaver · 01/09/2012 10:31

I would retract my offer to pay for drycleaning. If she has worn it it needed dry cleaning anyway. Your offer was generous and rejected.

Latara · 01/09/2012 10:38

Your ex-colleague is not much of a friend IMO - she should never have given out your mobile no. without your permission.

She should have been more worried about your hand than her bitchy friend's top.
Keep any texts or messages as evidence if the harrassment continues.
But do not contact your ex-colleague or this other woman - ignore them completely.
They are just bullies.

A person who behaves in an aggressive threatening way over a bit of blood on a top deserves to keep the bloodstains!!
If the woman can afford a £99 top then she can afford the dry cleaning bill.

Anyway; on nights out in bars with slightly pissed people - the likelihood of lager / cocktail / wine spillage from taller strangers is very high. If you hadn't got blood on her top then a passing lad could have dropped a pint of lager on it... & i bet she wouldn't have asked for money or been aggressive in that situation....
Basically she's picking on you because she's sensed you may be vulnerable.
Ignore the nasty cow; call the police on 101 if it continues. They like dealing with bullies :)

Pagwatch · 01/09/2012 10:47

Rosesarebetter.

I don't really get your logic. Why are people who spend £99 on a top likely to behave differently from anyone else?

I spend £99 on tops often. I never shout at people. People who shout "bitch" at other people after n accident stand very far outside the realms of 'normal people'
The normal reaction to that situation is "goodness, are you ok? Don't worry about my top, we can talk about that late. Let's get you cleaned up"

PedanticPanda · 01/09/2012 11:00

Roses, I think we're reading different OP's, you've missed out the part where OP apologises, offers to pay the dry cleaning and the other woman calls her a bitch and jabs her in the chest, then the OP (quite understandably) ran out, they then started sending her harassing messages and then the OP turned her phone off.

Do you still understand why the other woman acted like she did? Because I don't unless she has some serious problems.

OhChristFENTON · 01/09/2012 11:47

Exactly, Pag, - - "are you okay ?" is the normal thing to say to someone who's just cut themselves, not "get to a cashpoint, bitch"

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 01/09/2012 11:51

You need to find new friends.

OldBagWantsNewBag · 01/09/2012 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RosesAreBetter · 01/09/2012 18:52

I was implying that if this happened in a situation between normal people that would have been the expected response, but since the woman behave compleatly irrationally and unreasonably it was not a normal situation and the OP had nothing to feel guilty about.

Sorry I clearly didn't explain it well.

griphook · 02/09/2012 10:30

Hi op, have you sorted out the top situation

melonandpapayaandmango · 02/09/2012 10:33

I haven't heard anything from them Confused so I'm being very brave and responsible and pretending it never happened Grin, I know that I probably "should" contact them to send a cheque for dry cleaning but I really don't want to talk to them!

OP posts:
shockers · 02/09/2012 11:08

What did they say in their texts? Did your 'friend' apologise for the other woman's behaviour at all?

Noqontrol · 02/09/2012 11:16

I wouldn't continue to offer anything after she called you a bitch. She sounds deranged. If she continues to harass you I'd report her to the police.

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