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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to pay for other kids to learn to swim?

284 replies

tomdayleymum · 31/08/2012 12:58

DS about to go into Year 3. Got a letter from school saying that from now til next July Year 3 will be going swimming and please can we have a voluntary contribution of £3.25 per week?

He can swim very well thanks to me paying for him to have private lessons. If other parents haven't bothered (or can't afford) to teach their kids to swim outside of school hours then fine, let the school teach 'em. But I don't want to pay for him to go in school hours when he could do with catching up on his reading instead.

AIBU?

OP posts:
ethelb · 31/08/2012 13:24

at my school they split us into two groups based on ability.

i remember being pushed quite hard to get my medals. has your son done those yet?

BlackberryIce · 31/08/2012 13:24

Your posts here are all money,me,money,me,money

CatchTheFox · 31/08/2012 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

butterfliesinmytummy · 31/08/2012 13:25

As a swimming teacher I think children should have as many swimming lessons a week. My 2 dds have a lesson at home and a lesson at school every week, plus they swim nearly every day, my 7 year old does life saving lessons at school too. You can never be strong enough in swimming or too good. If, heaven forbid, your son needs to be able to safe his own life in open water, you will be thankful that he was offered extra lessons and I hope for his sake you don't turn down the opportunity.

LondonMidlandScotland · 31/08/2012 13:25

This is one of the reasons I love my job as a primary teacher soooooooo much. [sarcastic]

Original poster
tomdayleymum · 31/08/2012 13:25

Tis true; the non-swimmers have a proper instructor, the strong swimmers have a TA crouched by the side of the pool bellowing ineffectually.

Am willing to be told I'm BU though I am a bit Shock at the level of vitriol aimed at me. I'm not saying "let the non-swimming proles drown" just suggesting they not waste time and money taking swimmers to the pool for half an hour when they could be doing something more productive.

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 31/08/2012 13:25

OP, you're not coming across very well. You sound smug and joyless. If you don't want to pay the small amount for him to go swimming with his classmates, don't. But you asked, and people have pretty much unanimously declared that YABU.

NellyJob · 31/08/2012 13:26

lucky you to have afforded private swimming lessons, btw you sound really mean spirited.
as for your comment about people 'not bothering' to teach their kids to swim..did you ever have to go swimming alone with twins, for example?
if you want your kid to be the freak who doesn't join in, go ahead.
btw if you are too tight to pay, he can still go, the clue is in the word 'voluntary'.
If someone genuinely didn't have the money then fine....

Waitforit · 31/08/2012 13:27

But they have to do it - it's the law, there is no choice.

Waitforit · 31/08/2012 13:27

The school that is - not your ds.

alphabite · 31/08/2012 13:28

How do you know they have a TA crouched by the pool and that he/she is bellowing?

ChaosTrulyReigns · 31/08/2012 13:28

Who is Tom Dayley?

A1980 · 31/08/2012 13:28

If you consider your son a tom daley in the making (judging by your name, you do) do you not think he needs practice swimming by having school lessons? You don't just learn to swim and that's it you know.

ASAPRocky · 31/08/2012 13:28

Would you still be complaining and calling it a 'waste of time' if they weren't asking for a VOLUNTARY contribution? Sorry to say but get over it and actually ask the child do you want to go swimming with school? If he says yes which a child presumably would then let him go. Its not as big of a deal as you are making out. Are any other parents at your child's school thinking that the school are being unreasonable?

janey68 · 31/08/2012 13:29

You come across as incredibly self centred.
Has it not occurred to you that other children in the class may be way ahead of your son in other areas? They might be brilliant readers, superb at football, or great at maths. And there are probably many occasions when the teacher is having to cover things they can already do. Part of learning as part of a class and school, is that you deal with the fact that people have different strengths

The other thing which makes me think you're self obsessed is that you assume your child is the only good swimmer. He's not a baby, he's going into year 3, I imagine other kids have had private swimming lessons too and are competent, so chances are there will be a group for able swimmers who can then work on speed, style etc

BlackberryIce · 31/08/2012 13:29

Yeah, how do you know all this.... In such detail.... From a year 3 child?

Lovecat · 31/08/2012 13:30

Poor little boy :(

DD is the same age, can swim like a fish thanks to private lessons (my brother drowned at 19 - our parents never taught us and it wasn't provided in school back then - so it's something I'm totally para about).

I am so excited that she's going to be going swimming in Y3 with her school friends! She would hate it if she was left out.

You sound very condescending and ignorant with your 'a few minutes in the pool with a T/A' - it will be a proper instructor and they stream by ability so he'll be challenged in some way.

Education's not all about books, anyway, it's about producing well-rounded individuals. Or is that an old-fashioned view these days?

I'm most amused by the idea posted previously that private schools won't have swimming because they don't follow the national curriculum. In my limited experience private schools tend to be far more sporty than state ones...

BlackberryIce · 31/08/2012 13:31

shouldn't there be an 's' on Daley? Why have you missed it off?

aufaniae · 31/08/2012 13:31

Swimming isn't something you can do, and then that's it.

You can always improve. Being a strong swimmer is better (and safer) than being a swimmer. And being a very strong swimmer is better still, and so on.

Also important for me is that this is a shared activity with his classmates.

I wouldn't pull DS out of anything without a very good reason indeed. We're atheists but I wouldn't pull him out of religious assemblies (i would give him the choice however) as I don't think its fair to single out a child in that way.

vodkaanddietirnbru · 31/08/2012 13:31

ours dont just go for swimming, they also have time in one of the sports halls and are currently learning volleyball. When they went yesterday they had some swimming time and then some volleyball time. She seemed to enjoy it even though she is in an advanced swimming group at her swimming lessons.

EcoLady · 31/08/2012 13:31

...just suggesting they not waste time and money taking swimmers to the pool for half an hour when they could be doing something more productive.

There are few things more productive than giving a child a skill that could save thri life! Or be the start of a new hobby.

Example - year 5 class. One girl would not leave the changing room for the first session, she was so afraid. Had NEVER been to a swimming pool before because her mum was scared of water. She not only got in the water, she enjoyed it, and at the end of the 6th lesson got a standing ovation from the class as she swam 5m. She had major self-esteem issues, but she grinned and grinned for the rest of that day.

Something more productive? Get over yourself!

Lovecat · 31/08/2012 13:32

massive xposts - yy Janey, DD struggles in class. I'm really looking forward to her going swimming because there's a faint hope she may be good or at least better than some of the little moos who laugh at her for reading baby books at something and get a boost to her self esteem.

neverputasockinatoaster · 31/08/2012 13:33

TDM - I would LOVE to send my DS to swimming lessons - he is desperate to learn to swim. HOWEVER there are no spaces in lessons at the times we can attend.

As a teacher I used to detest going swimming BUT it is a part of the NC. It isn't school thinking 'oh, how can we waste some precious time in an already squeezed week and piss off TDM at the same time. I know, we'll use some of our tight budget and go swimming'.

OUrs go for 18 weeks. I don't have to go any more. Ever. I have gone part time -specifically to avoid the nightmare that is swimming-.

gotthemoononastick · 31/08/2012 13:33

This attitude is why it is so difficult for anybody to get worthwhile projects off the ground...also find that some well-heeled are most likely to make trouble,rather than a contribution,where less well off and even teachers will put hand in own pocket to not leave a child out.Horrible grasping entiteld society.

BenedictsCumberbitch · 31/08/2012 13:34

My DD has had swimming lessons for years. She'll still be attending school swimming lessons next term. There is always something new to learn. And even if she learns nothing new it's a bit of exercise.

YABU.

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