to say it was just the noise of the hairdryer...?

[frayededges]

ah no i,ve just chickened out of this thread really but sometimes you just need a few minutes on your own.....

you are talking about trimming your nasal hair right?

oh my dear god, i just read the pearl clutching - its coz it the wimminez wanking innit. it natural for men to need to shuffle one out in the shower!!

fgs

...there was a poisonous snake...um...sucking venom...?

I find I can do work in the kitchen and have a 'naice time' by sitting on top of the washing machine when it's doing it spin cycle. Nobody suspects a thing as I just tell them "mummy's having a sit down". Sometimes, I even do a spot of crotcheting whilst it's going on

hidden you little minx

Another here for the power shower. I swear it's all the happy hormones that were coursing through my body when I was pg that are the reason my two are relatively happy bunnies.

Hidden

Does that really work Hidden?

At the venomous snake!

a friend of mine sits on a particular seat on the bus going to the next village because at a certain point in the road there's an old cattle grid and apparantly if the bus gets up a bit of speed it makes her giggle.

HIDDEN- my washing machine is stuck under the worktop otherwise.......

a friend had a particularly tight pair of hot pants and if you sat on a certain seat of the bus and went from chiswick to hounslow, it would 'get you there'. When buying a ticket saying 'all the way to hounslow' took on a whole new meaning! It is now slang for us - 'he took me all the way to hounslow...' etc

electric toothbrush does the job beautifully. way better than a bullet, and you can have that minty freshness for added tingle

No, sadly I was lying I try to make my life sound more exciting than it really is in order to gain attention

Ooh ooh I have a story too

I had an afternoon off one day last week and it got to about 3pm and I had been productive all day. I felt a little... Well, you know so took myself off to the bedroom. It was a sunny day, so I'd opened the blinds iand the window.

We live in a bungalow.

I heard the gardener arrive and strt mowing the lawn, which is at the front of the house, and we always pay a month in advance so I carried on, thinking there was no need to go and see him.

A few minutes later (our grass patch is the size of a postage stamp) it all went quiet. I assumed he had moved on to the next garden - forgetting that he empties the cuttings from each garden into their own green bin and that ours was in the back garden hitch my bedroom overlooks.

So there I am, on the bed, pleasuring myself and I see him stroll past and I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed my book and raised it in front of my face and held it there

He would have seen and, more to the point, he would have known what I was doing

oh there's nothing as bad as the gardener seeing you having a wank, except maybe the butler!

joke, meant with best intentions!

Twll... you go to your bedroom to have a wank and open the windows and curtains?

You wanted to be caught you saucy little minx you.

He costs me a fiver a fortnight and it was worth it... Until now. I'm going to have to pay him extra to stop him winking at me or something aren't I

Well, ABF I do like a bit of kinky fuckery every now and then

Is he hot? ah la desperate housewives gardener?

No he is at least double my age and dirty, but not in a sexy, sweaty way. Tbh, if he was good looking and my bedroom was tidy I might have pulled him in through the window

PMSL at this thread

But surely if you are giving him his own private sex.show, you should be paying less for the gardening, not more?

shame...