to say it was just the noise of the hairdryer...?

[frayededges]

ah no i,ve just chickened out of this thread really but sometimes you just need a few minutes on your own.....

'clutching your pearls', theinets?

No really it's foul wanking with your toddlers in the next room. What if they discover your vibrator or find you frigging yourself with it.. what is the world coming to?

if you're clutching your pearls...it's too late!

To frig oneself with a vibrator sounds like contradiction in terms...

WONT SOMEONE PLEASE JUST THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

not really.....

So thinets should one never pleasure oneself just incase? What if ones children are asleep in the next room? Does this extend to sex in your household? Why should we be ashamed of self completion life is surely partly about pleasure?

(to clarify im not suggesting that one should put on a demonstrative show ala monty python but merely saying sex and pleasure isnt weird or wrong)

No Secret, best to give up sex and wanking until the children leave home.

And if sex isn't weird or wrong, then you aren't doing it correctly I'm afraid.

until the children leave home

you do realise how long this is, don't you

Oh not shiiit im a shitty parent then arent I?! Mind you hands up anyone with more than one DC you are in the doghouse too!

Ahh yes i forgot its kinkyfuckery or bust these days hahah

Ummm...so that means no sex and no masturbation at all when children are in the house ever?! What a bloody ridiculous thing to say.

a hitarchi magic wand also has another use you know. its called a massager for a reason. just start complaining about shoulder pain

theinets get a life, when else do we get chance! [shocked]

Hi inets,I always make sure my dc are enclosed in the living room with the childgate closed is that ok?
And I'm quite speedy with it so my poor children aren't being neglected either.

how the fuck (yup, pun intended) do people have more than one DC if they don't have sex if there's already one in the house

falsestarted does the sex count if you cant remember it?

I agree with bluefrogs. I use their favourite Scooby Doo DVD to distract the kids. Conventional sex when the kids are in bed? HA ha parents too tired, prefer a stiff gin or too uptight wondering if that noise was one of them shouting to go to loo, get a drink, had a bad dream...... its funny how the kids themselves are the best form of contraception sorry that doesn't sound right

YANBU.

Having kids in the house is a bugger when trying to have a sex life, puts you on edge.

We go to bed late so as not to be disturbed. Once it was about 1am and I am giving DP oral. Bedroom door slammed open, I pulled back and started trying to cover us with the duvet. Turns out I'd left a window open and it had blown the bedroom door open. I pulled back at the worse moment though, It went in my hair!.

This thread reminds me that I have been meaning to show DP what a power shower is actually for House to ourselves tonight

No suggestions OP, sorry

Lubilee.

"I've just choked on my chicken drumstick" That's what got me in that mess!

at least it didn't go in your eye RevDeb it really fucking stings!

I know Spuddy, .

We were so relieved it wasn't DS as we couldn't really explain that with the "special grown up cuddles for people who love each other very much" explanation we've given of sex so far.

um, i woke up in the night and felt a bit peckish...?