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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To NOT buy my 8yo a bra?

28 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 30/08/2012 10:45

She wants one. She wants one because my sister told her she needed one Hmm Angry

She has teeny, tiny, little breast buds. Not enough to warrant them needing any support.

My sis thinks she will be bullied at school for being the first to have breasts. Surely being the first to have a bra would make a her a target even more so?

I'm thinking crop tops will suffice for now, if dd1 really feels she needs to cover herself? She probably doesn't even have enough to actually have a bra size.

OP posts:
CocktailsAndFriedChicken · 30/08/2012 10:46

Yanbu

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 30/08/2012 10:47

YANBU

squeakytoy · 30/08/2012 10:47

If she wants one, then let her wear one. If she gets teased, let her go back to wearing a vest or a crop top.

GilbGeekette · 30/08/2012 10:48

Crop tops if she is feeling self conscious about it. Not because your sister thinks she needs one, surely?

HazleNutt · 30/08/2012 10:49

YANBU - as said, wearing bra will certainly draw more attention.

peeriebear · 30/08/2012 10:50

Asda George have some little crop tops that may fill the gap.

NoComet · 30/08/2012 10:56

DD2 has worn a cropped sometimes since DD1 got a bra. Initially just for fun.

Now always when changing for PE as around Y5 they start gettingBlush

She's now 11 and just has something to hide. She'll be starting senior school without a proper bra because one simply won't fit.

DD1 did need a bra at that age, but it was a nightmare to get one to fit at first.

Seriously cropped tops for as long as possible, for some reason they just don't make decently fitting small bras.

Birdsgottafly · 30/08/2012 10:57

Mine needed the padding of a bra, before they wanted support and started wearning 'first bra's' around your DD's age.

I think that you should be guided by your DD.

Breasts buds can be sensitive and you do see girls who need a bra but their parents wouldn't allow them, just because of their age.

I think that the bullying over wearning a bra doesn't happen as much as it did and is dealt with better.

Hopeforever · 30/08/2012 10:59

Star, We got a wonderful compromise between bra and crop top at John Lewis

Buds that tiny don't need a bra. Your sister needs to keep her thoughts to herself!

NoComet · 30/08/2012 11:00

As for sister, remind her that sister winding up is expressly forbidden.

In this house it's generally fashion conscious, conventional, non dyslexic DD2 who is forbidden from point scoring on cultural or literary issues.

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 30/08/2012 11:00

She really doesn't have anything to put in a bra. If she did I would allow it. A structured crop top looks like it might be a compromise, after looking at Matalan.

Even the training bras come in bra sizes. There is not enough difference between her rib cage and her chest for her to have a bra size. It is a matter of a cm, 2 cms at most.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 30/08/2012 11:00

M&S do crop tops that look like bras - dd had them when she started to get self conscious about her breast buds.

NoComet · 30/08/2012 11:01

Thanks hopeful I'll have a look because DD2 is the sort to worry about such things.

blueglue · 30/08/2012 11:01

Agree crop top good plan

ChopstheDuck · 30/08/2012 11:03

BHS also do good crop tops.

Emandlu · 30/08/2012 11:03

A bra top type thing is probably the way to go. I wasn't allowed a bra until I started senior school, and then when I did get one I was a 34C, so you can imagine the teasing I got Sad.
I do agree that when they are so small they really don't need a bra, but a croptop is surely not a problem?

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 30/08/2012 11:06

I have no issue with her wearing crop tops. I feel a little sad that she feels the need to cover herself already, but if she is self conscious about her I will buy her crop tops.

She wasn't self conscious about it until it was pointed out to her Angry

OP posts:
DontstepontheMomeRaths · 30/08/2012 11:08

Yes crop tops are the way to go at this age.

I remember asking my Mum for a bra at about this age in a department store and she said very loudly for all to hear "but you don't have anything to put in a bra" Sad everyone looked at me Sad

A crop top is a good compromise. Lots of my friends wore those and Mum didn't buy me any of those either, even when I began to show a little.

I'm not bitter

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 30/08/2012 11:11

emandlu that's not on, poor you! I would have gone potty if I had to walk around with C cups without a bra.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 30/08/2012 11:12

If under/overbust are the same then she is an AA cup, your issue is more likely to be finding a small enough band size.

TBH I would get her one - these things can be ridiculously important to your self esteem and social standing.

Mrsjay · 30/08/2012 11:12

YANBU and your sister needs a TUT TUTTING and told to get a grip ,

MY dds wore crop tops and 8/9

Emandlu · 30/08/2012 11:13

Sorry, D0oin I hadn't seen your previous post when I started to type mine.

FushiaFernica · 30/08/2012 11:17

I would have thought a bra would draw more attention to her, I'd go for your crop top idea.

Enfyshedd · 30/08/2012 11:22

I insisted to my DM when I was about to start secondary school that I was going to have a bra so I didn't stand out in the changing rooms for PE. She took me to M&S for me to get measured and I came out with 2 28AA bras only a few short years later, I was a 36D. I think it's important to be well supported from as early as possible, but at 8 with just buds, I think the structured crop top should be the way to go.

I'd be quite Angry with your DSis for saying that to your DD. It's not her place to say that sort of thing unless she was asked by DD.

NoComet · 30/08/2012 19:08

Sorry I need to learn to readBlush

Your sister opened her big mouth not your DDs big sister.

Angry non of her business.

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