To be shocked at what I found at mums care home today?

[Downnotout]

Mum has Alzheimers. Her DP died suddenly a couple of months ago and me and DSIS had to put mum into full time care.

We looked around a number of places close to us- mum lived 200 miles away and thought we had found the right place.

Mum has, for the last couple of years, had to be "coerced" to get out of bed. There is no physical reason to stay in bed but I think she feels safe there. She also has history of refusing to eat. This has continued, on and off, at the care home. They normally manage to get her up at some point. My sis or myself go most days and she always gets up when we arrive. I take her out for the day and she always eats her meals then.

Now usually, one of the carers will come and find me if they have concerns about mum not eating, because she will eat for me. She has been much better for the last couple of weeks, getting up and going to the dining room for her meals. Today when I arrived at 3pm mum was still in bed. It was clear she had not got up at all. Her breakfast, a slice of toast, was still at the side of her bed untouched. Along with a stone cold cup of tea. I know if anyone had been in to offer lunch or a fresh cup of tea the toast would have gone and there would have been some covered sandwiches if she hadn't got up for lunch.

I went into her bathroom. Oh God there was poo splattered everywhere. All over the seat, the floor, I tried and couldn't flush away what was in the bowl, so much stuff it had blocked! Her dirty underwear was in the sink with a dirty flannel that she had used to try and clean herself with. In the bedroom were her trousers from yesterday, also covered in dried poo.

I got mum up and dressed and sat her in the day room and went to find a carer. She, the carer, had just come on duty, she couldn't tell me if mum had eaten anything, I told her about mums accident and she got it all cleaned up. Then she found there were no sheets on mums bed. She apologised. DD then needed the loo and went into mums bathroom. When she flushed everything came back up. I can only think that mum had had dreadful diahorrea.

But it was clearly yesterday. And no one noticed. Anything. Til I reported it at 3.30 today. Tell me that's not right.

Awful, awful, awful. Do you know any district nurses? They will be able to tell you which homes are good and which are bad. This sounds terrible, your poor mum.

I have every sympathy for you. My poor DM died last christmas, following a move to a so-called upmarket care home which was very expensive. It looked like a five star hotel, but the reality was very different.

Horrible, horrible nurse manager with a cold, aggressive manner. Duty Manager never came out of her room.

Although my mum was never left in the state yours was, I often arrived to find her strapped in a wheelchair with the windows wide open and her room freezing. Her hands were like ice and she could no longer communicate her distress to the staff. Other residents wandered into her room and sometimes hit her. They said there was nothing they could do, but a child gate across her door soon resolved this.

I challenged her care fees and a team came in to assess her. During the meeting I asked the Continuing Care Team to go upstairs and look at my mother. They refused because it was not the "done thing" as it was an emotive subject which could affect the assessment. I persuaded them otherwise, to find my mum yet again strapped in a wheelchair (she had been there hours) shut in her room. She now weighed four and a half stone although the team initially said it must be a clerical error. They were visibly shocked and put their concerns in writing to the home.

You must move your mum. She is very vulnerable and those who are entrusted with her care have let her down and abused her dignity.

good luck contacting the QCC, i told them about a lady in home with catheta always hanging between her legs, painfully thin covered in brusies and they cant respond to invividual complaints.

they arnt worth a thing, they are the most useless over bloated body.

this is common across the uk where anyone who is vulnerable and is exposed to other humans.

we need a rigourous body to go round - do spot checks and panaorma style work to make sure these people are safe.

the only thing you can youself is look round for another home and always do irregular spot checks on her.

BTW i know a few care home bosses - they are dripping in money - laugh about what color to spray paint the new ferrari!

ElsieMc

when i was 18 i worked in a home that looked like a hotel, amazing building and antiques - the relis felt good comig to visit the old person, the other side of the coin was agreesive staff - a family had a hold on jobs and didnt like anyone upsetting thier apple cart - useless manager - bullying of patients who were deemed more difficult -the diffiuclt patients always introduced as such so they never had a chance to be treated well until someone fair minded came along to approad them differently, others sent to coventry for complaining soup was cold - which it was! I was privy to the argument that the chef didnt want to warm it up as it would mean another pan for him to clean!!! me untrained left to lift people....others left in thier rooms with nothing to do....

hideous.

Please move her.

I worked in a care home at 16 and it was the biggest shock of my life, the care where I worked was shocking and yet nothing like you described would have happened.

I'm not trying to scare you, obviously there is good care homes about but this can't be one of them if this goes on.

How on earth would nightshirt not have noticed when doing checks? The place must have been stinking

Sorry I don't have time to read all the messages but wanted to add something. This is terrible, obviously. And unacceptable. Hopefully you won't have this kind of experience again. However, if you do my advice would be to take photos of the room. In my experience, both working for hospitals and as a concerned relative, things often get minimised or dismissed when you are in the complaints precede sure. Photos make it MUCH harder for that to happen.

I hope things improve for you all and you find a care home/resolution you are happy with.

Anyone who has concerns similar to elizaregina or anything that concerns you about an older vulnerable person can report their concerns to the Protection of Vulnerable Adults section at their local council. There should be a link to POVA on every council website. If you are concerned PLEASE report.

I'm a ward manager within a mental health hospital. It's alarming that this has happened. The ward manager should make it her business to know EVERYTHING that is going on in her unit.

surely when staff change shift they must do some kind of handover between staff written and verbal. I would be seriously concerned, I would want to know how she seems to of been forgotten about for so long, maybe you and your sister should have meeting with whoever is in charge and tell them of your concerns, and what proceedures can be put in place to ensure this never happens again.

Just to say that this thread is from Aug 2012 - it has been brought up to the top no doubt by a spam message as Mumsnet has deleted it.

It's been bumped by someone working as an 'investigative journalist'. (Along with another care home thread.) Luckily, MN seem to have been on the ball for both.

Op that's horrible - I really would look into moving her.

I get so upset when I look at how our elderly and vulnerable get treated. Yes, I know there are some great places but there are way way too many like the one the OP describes.

I'll never forget going to visit my grandmother, at her care home, one hot summer's day and finding her really distressed and dehydrated. Her room was like a sauna and some moronic member of staff had just plonked a two litre bottle of Evian in front of her - that she was far too frail to open or lift.

ZOMBIE THREAD,

bumped by an unkind person.

....so it is!