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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or are they a bunch of bigots?

49 replies

PrettyFlyForAWifi · 29/08/2012 21:42

I started a new job a few months ago and I've been pretty shocked by some of the opinions that are freely aired by my colleagues. To set the scene, it's a fairly deprived area which historically was predominantly populated by white working class people. In the last 5-10 years the area has become much more multicultural and has a high proportion of new immigrants.
My colleagues routinely and openly discuss their views on immigration which revolve around the themes of 'they shouldn't be allowed in', 'they don't work', 'why should hey get free housing' etc etc, ad nauseum. One colleague whom I have the misfortune to work closely with refers to Asian people as 'browns'.
I'm appalled by this, especially in the profession in which I work, and I feel really angry at having to listen to all this shit day after day. I haven't voiced my objections much as when I've tried to reason that not all immigrants are unemployed dole scroungers I've been shouted down and I don't want to alienate myself further from my colleagues (they already think I'm 'posh'...I wish!) but I hate listening to it and I feel ashamed of myself for not having the courage to take them on about it.

I've only ever worked in places which have been multicultural and quite pc before and all this is new to me. AIBU or is this how people really think??

OP posts:
SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 29/08/2012 21:44

This is how a sizeable proportion of people really think but YANBU to think it's not on. I'd be putting in a formal grievance to HR.

HumphreyCobbler · 29/08/2012 21:45

it is how some people think

not all thank goodness.

CrispyCod · 29/08/2012 21:45

Yes, this how a lot of people think.

Original poster
PrettyFlyForAWifi · 29/08/2012 21:49

It's effectively a small business, albeit one which is accountable to a higher body. So I'm pretty sure the management share the same views. Maybe I'm going to have to shut up or ship out. How depressing.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 29/08/2012 21:50

Of course it's how they think or I'm sure they wouldn't be saying it?

There will always be bigots anywhere you go....some will verbalise their thoughts and some won't.

WorraLiberty · 29/08/2012 21:51

Just noticed your nickname OP

It's brilliant!! Grin Grin

worldcitizen · 29/08/2012 21:51

This is a how a lot of people think, I am afraid Sad

RandomMess · 29/08/2012 21:52

Honestly speak to HR, they clearly do think like that but they should be keeping their opinions to themselves! There were a few people in my workplace with those opinions and voiced them in front of ethnic minority colleagues Shock the mind just boggles.

Original poster
PrettyFlyForAWifi · 29/08/2012 21:54

It's what my Wifi's called Worra, always makes me laugh.

I'm just shocked that people think it's alright to talk like this AT WORK.

OP posts:
Original poster
PrettyFlyForAWifi · 29/08/2012 21:59

I don't really have an HR, I'd have to go to the higher body and it would become a massive, whistle blowing scenario in which case I imagine I'd need to leave. They just act like I'm some woolly bleeding heart lefty liberal, whereas I think I'm normal and they're ignorant!

OP posts:
CrikeyOHare · 29/08/2012 21:59

Thanks to the Daily fucking Mail, this is how many people think.

Doesn't make it right, though - and yes, they're bigots.

Not sure what you should/could do about it though.

ViviPru · 29/08/2012 22:05

Don't feel bad for not taking them on over it, OP, you're in a really difficult position and most decent people would feel the same in your shoes, I'm sure.

I'm really sorry - I'm struggling to think of any practical advice, perhaps make a note of the time and perpetrator of any particularly outrageous comments, you never know if and when it might come in useful.

worldcitizen · 29/08/2012 22:07

They just act like I'm some woolly bleeding heart lefty liberal, whereas I think I'm normal and they're ignorant!

It is not normal, not christian, not kind, not fair, not well-mannered to do this!!!!!

has nothing to do with bleeding heart, nothing with being a lefty, nothing with being too PC go to hate this phrase Nothing at all!!!

And yes the bloody fucking Daily fail has a lot to answer for...

worldcitizen · 29/08/2012 22:11

PrettyFly sorry that I have nothing constructive to say. Wish I could add something here, which would be of any practical help, really Sad

trixie123 · 29/08/2012 22:15

the awful thing is, if you were to suggest that their views were racist, they'd be horrified and offended. I had a conversation with a group of people who would be mortified to be told they were racist but were talking about how "it" had got so much "worse" over in x town were white people are (apparently) now in the minority. Just that fact alone was "worse". They didn't suggest that the non-white people were in any way law-breaking or scroungers or anything, but the fact that there were a lot of them was "worse", ie a negative. Worse than what? Worse in what way?

worldcitizen · 29/08/2012 22:22

Good point trixie

Original poster
PrettyFlyForAWifi · 29/08/2012 22:23

It's actually really helpful to know it's them,not me! I was feeling like I was in a parallel universe there. I'm wondering if I could suggest some equality and diversity training - or should I just accept they're bigoted.

OP posts:
NicholasTeakozy · 29/08/2012 22:25

Say something like "I know they don't work, but the reason is they're not allowed to. New Labour made it illegal for asylum seekers to seek employment. Or apply for benefits, so really they have less impact on the state than you. At least you don't rely on charity to live day to day"

A bit of troof often shuts idiots up.

NameChangeGalore · 29/08/2012 22:28

Your car is Japanese. Your pizza is Italian. Your beer is German. Your wine is Spanish. Your democracy is Greek. Your coffee is Brazilian. Your tea is Chinese. Your watch is Swiss. Your fashion is French. Your shirt is Indian. Your shoes are Thai. Your radio is Korean. Your vodka is Russian--and then you complain that your neighbour is...an immigrant? Pull yourself together! Copy if you are against Racism!

worldcitizen · 29/08/2012 22:29

Yep, maybe something along those lines of what nicholas suggested.

PrettyFly also what just came to mind is, you are new, and then it is sort of a slippery slope anyway, to come out with your views or "discredit/criticise" the ones who are there for some time already.

WildWorld2004 · 29/08/2012 22:33

I dont think people should be allowed to move here if they dont have a job & expect to get benefits. Most other countries you have to have employment before being allowed in.

I dont think that every immigrant is an unemployed scrounging scumbag.

worldcitizen · 29/08/2012 22:39

WildWorld there is nothing wrong with your view.

Is it necessary to make this daily conversation? Is it necessary to use this for all sorts of bonding with others. Seems to be turning into some sorts of sport.

Original poster
PrettyFlyForAWifi · 29/08/2012 22:39

Thanks Nicholas - that will be a useful bit of counter argument.
Wildworld, that's my point. There are very obvious flaws in the system but that doesn't make it ok to call immigrants names.

OP posts:
KRITIQ · 29/08/2012 22:43

I don't know if I could personally stand spending 8 hours of every day in the company of people that I knew to be so hate-filled towards their fellow human beings. I know there re plenty of people in the world who are like this, but I try my best to avoid being around them, to save my own sanity.

If you genuinely feel you have no recourse - that the culture of the organisation from top to bottom is racist and xenophobic, start thinking about an exit strategy and put it into place asap. Clearly you are finding the prevailing views in the company distressing and having to work in such a setting can have an impact on your physical and mental health. If you can't get work to change, seriously think about changing your work.

And once you've got another job, reference done and dusted, give the boss an earful of why you left, perhaps sharing those reasons with the local paper or with key customers, etc.

Perhaps I shouldn't be, but I'm astounded by the confidence with which some bigoted people assert their views, particularly to strangers, or those they barely know. Who's to know if the OP's partner or children are Black, Asian or from another minority ethnic community. I despise it when someone has tried to "co-opt" me into their bigotry (and relish in pointing out that I am an immigrant in the broadest version of my home country dialect, just to watch their jaws drop.)

worldcitizen · 29/08/2012 22:52

KRITIQ

I'm astounded by the confidence with which some bigoted people assert their views, particularly to strangers, or those they barely know. Who's to know if the OP's partner or children are Black, Asian or from another minority ethnic community. I despise it when someone has tried to "co-opt" me into their bigotry

That's the point. How is it possible, that in a society like the British, which is known for its particular ways and manners in terms of not wanting to step on other people's toes, being polite, well-mannered, not making a fuss in public, not hurting other person's feelings unknowingly, not wanting to leave a bad impression, not being too emotional, not complaining too much or too loud in public etc.

How come it doesn't apply when expressing views about certain racial, ethnic, and religious groups. Or groups such as refugees and asylum seekers, for example??????

That already shows me the bigotry, cause it seems there is no need to apply certain manners to certain groups of people.