WWYD Am i being a lazy cow?

[LittleSugaPlum]

Im 34 weeks pregnant with first child. Suffering horrendously with SPD, i now rarley go out its that bad.

Because of this im unable to do proper housework.

So 6 weeks ago we arranged for a cleaner to come in 3 hours a week.

DH didnt want a cleaner at first (saw it as a waste of money) but when i told him if we didnt get a cleaner, he would have to do the housework, he very quickly changed his mind!

Im very embarrassed about having a cleaner as im only 25 years old.

DH and I run a business from home, so we basically spend all day together.

DH does most of the work and to be honest the business isnt exactly hard work.

The cleaner is only temporary until new baby will be about afew weeks old.

However last night DH mentioned that we should keep the cleaner on permenant. When i asked why he says that i will be expecting him to help with cleaning when she no longer comes, and basically he doesnt wanna do the cleaning.

Nobody knows i have a cleaner, only my mum, but even she keeps saying well its only till baby is born then you shouldnt need a cleaner.

I dont tell people as im embarassed and alot of people i know are living on the breadline and cant afford a cleaner, so i dont like to out myself as a snob or anything, or letting people think we have more money than sense!

I dont really wanna do a 3 bed house of cleaning without any help, especially with DH here full time and not helping.

Would i be a lazy cow to keep the cleaner on?

If you can afford a cleaner, FFS why worry about what anyone else thinks.

Bugger what other people think! Keep the cleaner.

Why would you be embarrassed to have a cleaner?

Makes perfect sense to me, I'd have one myself if I could afford it.

If you're both working from home, together, all the time, why is it just your responsibility to do housework?

If you can afford it, keep her- it would be mean to put her out of work, after all!

you work from home -that's never normal office hours is it

new baby

OH willing to pay rather tahn do his share?

keep the cleaner

If you can afford it, go for it. It's nobody else's business.

a)34 wks
b)SPD
c)DH agrees cleaner is good idea
d)new baby is shitloads of work
all good reasons to have/keep cleaner

Not lazy cow - very sensible!

Surely if anyone's "lazy" in this scenario, it would be your dh? He wants to keep the cleaner so that he doesn't have to do his share.

Do whatever works best for your family. It's no-one else's business.

Not saying that your dh is lazy btw!

Sympathies with the SPD I have an ironing lady and DP did all the housework including bathing 3 other DC.

If DH will not do half his share but is willing to pay a cleaner then go for it, it's a win win.

But I would be telling him no uncertain words that looking after the baby is a joint effort 50/50.

I needed a cleaner more in the first few months after the DDs

Very DH hasnt been brought up in clean houses so is absolulty rubbish at cleaning, and whatever he cleans, i have to do over it properly.

Im embarrassed as before i met DH i was living with my parents, working full time, had very little money etc and when i met DH i quit my job, and went from skint to comfortable, from living with parents, to living in a nice house etc.

And because of this two very old friends of mine, fell out with me and wouldnt say why. It was a very upsetting time etc.

So now im very wary what i tell people about the business or what i have in my home etc

Which would you rather do - cuddle your lovely new baby, or scrub a toilet? KEEP THE CLEANER! If you think your Mum or anyone else will give you a hard time (though really what business is it of theirs?) then tell them nothing. That new baby stage is so SO short and precious and exhausting, and not one whit of it should be spent living up to other peoples expectations of what you should be doing.

Not sure what being "only 25" has to do with having a cleaner!? And as for telling people what you have in your home...why would you anyway?

NC I guess people with cleaners generally tend to be the older generation or far too busy with work and im neither of those.

I meant general chit chat like if you ve brought something new etc.

Keep the cleaner. See it as your treat.

Don't feel embarrassed you are comfortable, enjoy it. Friends wouldn't begrudge you, and you don't have to tell people if you'd rather not.

Oo, would love a cleaner! Such a good reason to have one. You don't have to tell anyone and when baby arrives it will be lovely not to have to worry about the housework too. Tell who you want, if you want. Your choice. Don't feel bad. It's practical and makes total sense.

Keep the cleaner, if nothing else think of how you're boosting the economy

But you don't need a reason, it's not lazy, and even if it was who cares? Don't we all try and make things as easy as we can? One persons lazy is another persons sensible time management

In the nicest possible way, I want to tell you to get over yourself and stop thinking about what other people may or may not think. You need a cleaner, you can afford a cleaner.

I'm 28. I have a cleaner who does 3 hours every two weeks. She's brilliant. I live in quite a deprived area and it's certainly not the 'done thing' here, but I honestly don't give a shit. My money, my business.

And why would it be you being lazy rather than your husband? He seems to be the one who doesn't want to do it so if anyone was lazy then surely it would be him

Well I would prefer cuddling a baby to cleaning! Plus by having a cleaner you would be providing employment to someone who could really use the wage. Go for it!

I kept my cleaner when I was on maternity leave. Keep the cleaner.

Do make it clear to DH that there are still chores to be done between you. 3 hours a week cleaning wont cover everything (yes i've had that discussion with DH who thinks 2 hours cleaning by the cleaner is everything done )

Not at all. I'm younger than you with no SPD and have had a cleaner for the past 3 years :)