WWYD Am i being a lazy cow?

[LittleSugaPlum]

Im 34 weeks pregnant with first child. Suffering horrendously with SPD, i now rarley go out its that bad.

Because of this im unable to do proper housework.

So 6 weeks ago we arranged for a cleaner to come in 3 hours a week.

DH didnt want a cleaner at first (saw it as a waste of money) but when i told him if we didnt get a cleaner, he would have to do the housework, he very quickly changed his mind!

Im very embarrassed about having a cleaner as im only 25 years old.

DH and I run a business from home, so we basically spend all day together.

DH does most of the work and to be honest the business isnt exactly hard work.

The cleaner is only temporary until new baby will be about afew weeks old.

However last night DH mentioned that we should keep the cleaner on permenant. When i asked why he says that i will be expecting him to help with cleaning when she no longer comes, and basically he doesnt wanna do the cleaning.

Nobody knows i have a cleaner, only my mum, but even she keeps saying well its only till baby is born then you shouldnt need a cleaner.

I dont tell people as im embarassed and alot of people i know are living on the breadline and cant afford a cleaner, so i dont like to out myself as a snob or anything, or letting people think we have more money than sense!

I dont really wanna do a 3 bed house of cleaning without any help, especially with DH here full time and not helping.

Would i be a lazy cow to keep the cleaner on?

If we could afford it I wouldn't work. If we could afford it I would have a cleaner. I am v that you can! Enjoy that cleaner! Sod what anyone else has to say!

He does help tidy up, does load and unload dishwasher, but thats it.

I feel lazy in general for not really working.

Afew family and friends have made sarcastic comments like,

"I bet it scares the shit out of you now, the mention of work"

"Its alright for some isnt it? Sitting on your arse all day!" - Nice comment from the sister!

Thats why i wont tell anyone about the cleaner

Keep the cleaner, get some nicer friends.

What's snobbish about having a cleaner?

It's not like it was years ago when only people who were seen to have money could afford them.

Most cleaners earn such shit wages that it costs less to fund a smoking habit than to pay a cleaner for a few hours a week.

Keep the cleaner!! I cried a little bit when mine finished, we just couldn't justify the cost anymore.....

My DCs will be at school/pre-school from next week and I'd still have one then if I could!

What's wrong with keeping someone in a job? If you can afford it, there's nothing wrong with having one and you'll need the cleaner more when the baby is born than now!

Ignore jealous comments. It's no one else's business.

Keep the cleaner. Don't beat yourself up about it. Age has nothing to do with it.

You can use the time to do something with your baby.

I would love a cleaner. Unfortunately we can't afford it. Well we possibly could but we'd have to do without something else and as we've just had a round of major cut backs, I'd rather not do more!

We have a 2 and a half three bed house and with DD there's no way I can do it alone. OH is actually quite fantastic and loads the dishwasher (I'm too inefficient apparently), does the laundry (far better than I ever have) and shares in the hoovering, always doing the stairs as I can't seem to figure out how the hell you lug a hoover up and clean the stairs at the same time... He clears DD's toys up for me now I'm the size of a house with SPD too. If he didn't do these things I think I'd hit meltdown though.

If you can afford the cleaner then keep the cleaner. I have no idea why anyone would want to clean themselves if they can afford for someone else to do it. I love my cleaner - in a financial crisis she would be one of the last things to go and not the first lol

Anyone is allowed a cleaner, whether they're young, old, healthy or infirm.

We aren't wealthy but we have a very messy toddler (like a lot of people) and the time I save picking up after her can be channeled into working instead (I am a freelancer).

And like nokidshere there are a great many things I would sacrifice first before letting the cleaner go!

I'm in the same situation - 35weeks pregnant, horrendous SPD since 14 weeks, at home now fulltime, age 29. I have a cleaner and she's great. in fact I've asked her to come in twice a week once baby is born. She does all my ironing too which is a blessing as a) I loathe it and b) standing for a while does my back in.

I don't see it as me being lazy, I see it as me being extremely lucky. I'm generally terrible at housework even when not pregnant, which I guess I get from my mum (no interest, no skills handed down there either and SHE has had a cleaner once a week since I was little) so I don't see a problem with handing out a skill I can't do well or at all to someone who is good at it. I'm a serial faffer-abouter and I take all day to Do Things that involve moving about, but give me a document to review and mark up and I'm quick off the mark and I run the money stuff/house maintenance/holiday planning with military precision.

This way the house is cleaned regularly to a high standard and I get to rest and not be in pain. Was always healthy before and never realised just how exhausting relentless pain is. It's really worn me down.

Ditch your shit friends and family and keep the cleaner.

I love my cleaner. It's so lovely to come home to clean house once a week (for a few minutes anyway until the DC destroy it). My mum thinks I'm terribly lazy, though (full time job and 3 DC make me beg to differ) and refuses to have any help in her house although she's got 5 bedrooms and is over 70. I accept we will never see eye to eye on this one and refuse to discuss it further with her.

No-one would have any qualms if you got a plumber in to fit your new shower (even though you could probably do it yourself with the right book) or got a decorator in to paint your house. So if it's all right to hire help for those jobs, why not a cleaner? Personally I would love to have a cleaner, but I'm one of those people who would have to run around tidying and cleaning before I let the cleaner in so it would be a bit pointless!

I would keep the cleaner.
I have a 10 week old, dd1 goes to school next week and I am going to hire one. I don't like cleaning, and I can afford it. But, where I live, it is very common to have one. Its weird to do your own cleaning.

If you need a cleaner now you will definitely need one when you have a young baby to look after. I had a cleaner when I was pregnant with my first up until he was a year old and sometimes I wish I had kept her on longer! It is your life and it doesnt matter what other people think and if you feel you need one and can afford it then great. If DH wont help and he has given the responsibility to you then it is your decision.

Keep the cleaner!
It doesn't matter if you have no DC at all and are at home 24/7 and have millions in the bank.....if you can afford it and it makes life easier then fuck what anyone else thinks! If they have a problem then point them in the direction of your cleaning supplies and let them do it!

Ignore the idiots making snippy comments, they're just jealous. Keep the cleaner and sod what anyone else thinks!