To think I have been the worst mother this school holiday!

[handwasher]

I just have to vent. I feel terrible and like I am an awful mother as I have found these school holidays such hard work and feel like I am on the edge of a nervous breakdown! I truely just want to put my head in my hands and cry.

DS is 4 and a half (starts school in Sept) DD is 2. They are both lovely but naughty and bloody hard work spririted. Although we have had days out I find it really hard to take them anywhere on my own as they are both bolters and I can't really trust them to stay with me. If we attempt to go out for a meal it is hell on earth as DD just crys, whines and runs around everywhere. I tried to take them to the cinema and again DD ran around screaming and kept wanting to leave whereas all the other kids her age sat still (although to be fair she is still quite young). This means that when it is just me during the week we have been limited in where we can go - no exciting theme parks or farms etc as I just can't do it on my own.

Even a simple trip to the shops becomes a nightmare of logistics and getting ready, and crying and screaming when we go round the store.

We have done crafts and baking and been to friends houses but this doesn't fill up the 13 hours that I have to fill each day so we have probably watched far too much TV but I just can't be entertaining all day surely? How do people fill the days?

I try to get them to play on their own, or just sit reading a book but they won't. They have a garden and plenty of toys but they just want to follow me around all day. I can't even seem to get any basic admin done as DD starts pressing the computer and pulling my legs etc. DD and DS seem to argue loads and whine and winge. DS wants to chat all the time and ask questions about diggers and trains which is tiring too.

They are watching a film at the moment and I feel like a faliure as I have not been the best mother this holiday and can't wait for school and pre-school to start. I'm a SAHM and have been with them all day every day all holiday. My DH is good when at home but he works away frequently and is not back till late on the nights he is back.

I just want to scream "leave me alone" at them! But obviously I don't. Everyoen else on facebook looks so happy. Like they are having a wonderful time with their well behaved kids. I see pics of their days out and wonder why I can't take mine out like that. I feel like my kids will just remember a grumpy mummy and will hate me for never taking them anywhere!

Even just reading this back I feel like a terrible mother for complaining.

all completly normal; mine are 10 and 8 and have not stopped bickering, squabbling, crying, stropping for 5 weeks. My liver will be giving me gyp because evening alcohol intake has risen sharply as the weeks have passed.

Also v. sick of hearing "whaaaaaaaaat's to eaaaaaaaat" in a whiney, hard-done by voice

you can kill a couple of hours and therefore most of the morning quite easily going on a slow walk to the park/bakers to buy a bun/library to borrow a book/pet shop to look at animals etc. even if 2 year old is in pushchair, fresh air will still tire him/her out. are there any church groups offering activities - our toddler singalong group runs every week even in school hols.

dont worry too much about repetition, at this age mine would have gone to the park every day (probably)

then hopefully they will be quite tired in the afternoon and not need too much stimulation!

Sorry you felt the need to dissmiss my opinion so easily, is this not the point of an Internet forum?
I was just being honest.
Having two too close together can be too much for some, appears the op is one of these, IMHO.
But, please, go back to sympathy hugs and ignoring your kids in favour of mums net.

I always think it's funny when posters accuse others of "ignoring kids in favour of mumsnet".

Pot, kettle.

(mine are currently watching TV. I am completely ignoring them.)

Um, drinksinatra...... ??

dranksinatra, you sound like my husband. He talks absolute shit sometimes too.

I've got a nearly 4 yo and a nearly 2 yo, so know what its like. When I struggle to find something to do, I normally have a flick through the Toddler's Busy Book. Alot of it is obvious, but handy and easy when you just can't find the energy to come up with something fun to do.

ooh can I have one everlong? I actually get it quite easy cos DP and I both teach so are off together for the holidays but am flying solo this week as he's away and absolutely am finding it hard to entertain DS (3) and DD (15m). IF DS walked nicely and sedately and stopped when I asked it would be a doddle but he doesn't. DD prefers to walk than be carried or pushed but won't hold hands and isn't keen on reins either. Its always possible to do stuff, just not easy and sometimes you just can't face it. We might do splashy wet walk outside in a bit (after the 3rd hour of TV). OP you are absolutely not alone and I wish more people would give an understanding comment or smile in RL so you didn't feel it. Dranksinatra - you are unsympathetic and unbelievably patronising and that's the nicest thing I have to say - I am just being honest!

Drinks, on behalf of mums everywhere, do piss off!

Having a 2 and a 4 year old is knackering. For just about everyone. It's really hard to find things to suit the different needs of two young children.

If it helps I have been a pretty crap lax parent this summer and mine are 11 and 13 lol too much time on the x box, tv, iPods, computers, lots of crap food and unhealthy snacks and very little input from me. But leaving them to it at least means I get a bit of peace for a bit and they are chilled and happy cos I am not nagging them all the time.

The holidays can seem endless, as can the pictures on Facebook. None of which show the reality of other people's lives, of course, just the edited and photogenic highlights! And of course, you are definitely not the worst mother!

What I'd advise (as someone whose dcs were only 18 months apart in age) is to limit your horizons a little. You've got years ahead of you to enjoy meals out in the sort of places where you'd prefer your dcs not to wander around and whine or go to the cinema. I put a stop to both those activities at the age your dcs are because they could be stressful and because I was expecting too much from what were actually, very small children.

The park, the pool, walks that allow dcs to run about safely, fun in the garden are all ideal. If you have bolters then you need to use reins where it is unsafe to let them run. Shops usually bore the pants off very small children. They reward you by behaving like what my grandmother described as "Limbs of Satan". None of this bothers the children but it makes you, the parent, feel a complete failure.

Time spend relaxing in front of the TV is not the worst thing in the world. Not this number of weeks into the summer holidays!

I really struggled when mine were 2 and 4 last summer and resorted to an awful lot of cbeebies - particularly when my planned craft/cooking activities lasted approximately 5 minutes. This year has been considerably better (although the 3 yr old is a bolter and I can't take my eyes off him for a minute). I had some respite through a "summer camp" at a local pre-school for 3 to 8 yr olds one week which was great (and cheaper than some of the activity camps for older children) - worth investigating in advance for next summer. We've done lots of activities at our local leisure centre and library too and more and more is available as they get older - it will get easier - don't be too hard on yourself!

I think, in fact, I may be the worst mother.

After a day of whining and grizzling I took 1 year old DD to Tesco which she usually loves.

We had to leave as I could not stop her licking things and climbing out of the trolly.

Licking things.

Parenthood is shit some days.

Who was it on mumsnet that said teachers are overpaid?

"Having two too close together can be too much for some, appears the op is one of these, IMHO" dranksinatra wow just wow

Have a and I rarely gives these out.

Feel for you. Had to take 4 and 6 year old to supermarket, for a few bits. They wereso naughty, cheeky and shouting that after a few warnings, I picked up youngest in fireman lift, abandoned trolley, and left the shop.
Never said a word to them on w ay home. They both said sorry .

I think that was aimed at dranksinatra after her comments everlong.

Cross posted

I'm a SAHM with a DH who works 12 hr shifts 6 days a week. I have a 7 yo, two 5yo and an extremely challenging 3yo - I feel your pain OP

We have not had the chance to get away this summer so we have had 6 wks of DIY entertainment. It has been horrendous weather and that has not helped, it is so much harder when you can't even get out to the park! It is difficult but only a week left and then back to normality! In the meantime have a and remember, every mother everywhere, feels like this at some point in the hols

Dranksinatra for her comments. My autocorrect changed it to drinks....