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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to write to the college? Parking thread!

56 replies

Rollersara · 29/08/2012 09:42

We live on a small village street with limited parking. There are four "official" parking spaces with double yellow lines in between where you can fit another 2 cars. There are never any traffic wardens and no-one seems to know why the double yellows are there.

I'm disabled and have a young baby and have applied for a disabled space right outside my house (currently double yellows), I already have a blue badge, but it could take 18 months to happen. I have real trouble getting DD to and from the car and if I have additional stuff like shopping or swim stuff I can only really do it if the car is outside my house. The neighbours have been really kind, they all know I find things difficult so don't park outside, except one. The one is a student at the local theological college. DP has been round and asked him (very nicely!) if he could try and avoid parking outside our house, but he does, repeatedly. I'm worried now that if I do go out I won't be able to get my stuff back in the house again.

DP has suggested writing to the college about it. My instinct was that this is OTT, it's a minor parking violation and a bit thoughtless. I mentioned it to my sister though, who is a vicar, and she agreed with DP. I feel bad as I wouldn't complain if it was just any student, but shouldn't someone who plans to be a vicar show a bit more care and compassion (and, as my sister says, it reflects badly on the church)?

DP and I are both atheists and I don't want him to think we're just anti-religion!

OP posts:
mogandme · 29/08/2012 09:55

YABU.

I understand that you have mobility issues and am glad to see that your other neighbours are kind enough to not use the spot you would like however as it is a public road they do not have to do so. I know that the student has been asked to not park there but he has a choice of where to park - maybe he also has his own issues/maybe the car parking spaces are full when he parks except this one - I don't know.

I think you were being reasonable to ask, but being unreasonable to expect him to do so and totally unreasonable to write to the college; if he had issues with you how would you feel if he contacted your employer?

Paiviaso · 29/08/2012 09:55

I personally think it's OTT.You said you have double yellows in front of your house, so he isn't actually parking in front of your house, is that right? So your DP wants to report this man to his college for legally parking on the street he lives on?

Just curious, does he park by your house when other spaces are available? Because if the one by your house is the only one free, I think its unfair to tell him he can't park on his street anymore :/

ILiveInAPineapple · 29/08/2012 09:59

You can park on double yellows with a disabled badge so long as you are not causing an obstruction. Would that be helpful?

I thin YABU to contact the college, but he is obviously not a very compassionate person - shame for his future "flock".

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 29/08/2012 10:03

I think you would be very UR to do that. But I do sympathise with your parking issues as I'm disabled myself and I know how difficult it can be

Can you chase the council up about your space? 18 months seems awfully long to me, where I live it is 6 months maximum but often a lot quicker

Knowsabitabouteducation · 29/08/2012 10:07

Where do you think he should park?

Why do you think there should be different rules for him, just because he is at theological college?

janey68 · 29/08/2012 10:07

I think it would be wrong to contact the college. Mainly because there is nothing they can do anyway(other than politely ask him which you has done already).
I also think to involve someone's 'superiors' over a matter like this , whether it's college or employer , is just not acceptable. I actually think his possible future employment is irrelevant anyway. It's a very simplistic idea to think someone planning to be a vicar should have some kind of gold standard in all their dealings right down to parking! He is likely to have many attributes which are directly relevant to being a vicar, but where he parks isn't one of them!

I assume parking is very tricky round your way so it's not as though he can easily park nearby (if he can, then the same goes for you tbh).
Lastly you don't know whether he has less obvious issues which make it diffiicult for him to park further away

From your post it's clear that you manage a baby, shopping and swimming, so you'll know that disability isn't always glaringly obvious and massively inhibiting

Original poster
Rollersara · 29/08/2012 10:21

I park on the double yellows, and so does he, right outside my front door. There are other spaces round the corner, but if I have DD I can't carry anything else so it has to stay in the car until DP gets home. Or I don't go out :( I use crutches all the time (wheelchair if someone else is there to take DD) so it is obvious I'm disabled (and DP has told him).

I'm actually kind of pleased though that most agree not to write to the college as I don't really want to. I was really surprised DSis thought we should. That's the thing about the theological college - if he was at the local uni I don't think DP or DSis would suggest writing, but both said he should be more considerate for a vicar.

He did used to use a "Priest on call" sign to park there, but stopped after another neighbour told him off!

OP posts:
3ismylot · 29/08/2012 10:26

Surely if he is illegally parking on double yellow lines then you should just report him? He may get the message after a couple of parking fines!

PheasantPlucker · 29/08/2012 10:30

If he's parking on double yellows, he shouldn't be. Can't you just report him for that, ie illegal parking?

WorraLiberty · 29/08/2012 10:31

I don't get this.

This has nothing to do with religion or the college.

You can legally park on the yellow lines and the student can not. So if he won't listen to you when you politely ask him to refrain, just report him to the council.

Original poster
Rollersara · 29/08/2012 10:32

I have lived here 18 months and never seen a traffic warden to report him to! There was even a letter in the parish magazine saying the local council can't afford to have regular wardens in the village! Confused

OP posts:
FelicitywasSarca · 29/08/2012 10:32

If he is parking on double yellows without a disabled badge report that to the council, that is wrong.

FelicitywasSarca · 29/08/2012 10:33

Phone the council. Explain why you care so much (disability). I'd e very surprised If they didn't help.

Original poster
Rollersara · 29/08/2012 10:34

This was why DP suggested the college, there doesn't seem to be any way to enforce parking restrictions. Am just hoping he'll be more likely to avoid parking there if I'm granted the disabled parking space...

OP posts:
sleepyhead · 29/08/2012 10:34

Report him. You don't "own" the road in front of your house, but as there are double yellows and it's illegal to park there then he should be ticketed.

You can park there because you have a blue badge. You're completely in the right.

WorraLiberty · 29/08/2012 10:35

You don't need to wait until a traffic warden comes along.

Just phone the council and tell them everything you've told us.

sleepyhead · 29/08/2012 10:35

Community police officer might be worth a try?

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 29/08/2012 10:37

I agree he should not be parking there

Do you only leave your car for three hours op? I'm not judging, just thinking that if you didn't stick to the rules and you reported him you don't want to get ticketed as well

WildWorld2004 · 29/08/2012 10:37

Take some photographs of his car parked on the yellow lines & numberplate & take them to the council & report it.

WelshMaenad · 29/08/2012 10:38

Do you have a front garden? My house is a terrace that opens onto the street. My DD has a blue badge, and it's really awkward if people park outside our house. We popped a polite printed notice (with the disabled symbol) in our window asking people to avoid parking outside our home if they could avoid it as we have a disabled child and it makes life awkward. I know your DH has spoken to him but having to look at a notice every time he parks there might guilt trip him into going elsewhere!

WorraLiberty · 29/08/2012 10:43

Do you only leave your car for three hours op? I'm not judging, just thinking that if you didn't stick to the rules and you reported him you don't want to get ticketed as well

Oh blimey, that's a good point.

Ignore my crap advice to phone the council Blush

Original poster
Rollersara · 29/08/2012 10:44

Same as you WelshMaenad, terrace onto the street.

Thanks all, I will follow up with the council. I wasn't sure if they'd deal with individual cases where there aren't traffic wardens, but I'll give it a go! I can't phone (speech impediment) but will send a letter and might make a sign for the window too!

OP posts:
Original poster
Rollersara · 29/08/2012 10:46

I'm not sure what they'd say about the three hour thing, but it is harder to enforce than someone who shouldn't be there at all!

Tbh, I can't see them sending a warden out more than once, as the parish council (who apparently pay the county council for wardens) say they can't afford it as a regular thing. Making the whole concept of parking restrictions a bit Hmm

OP posts:
maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 29/08/2012 10:52

You'd be surprised, if they're going to make an effort coming out they will probably try to make it worth their while. It could also start a tit for tat thing where you report him for being there (quite rightly) and he reports you for being there longer than three hours.

I'm honestly not trying to stick up for him, I just think you should make sure anything you do won't backfire on you I got a ticket once because I was five minutes over the three hours because I'd had a fall, and one because I put my clock up but on a wonky angle!

WorraLiberty · 29/08/2012 10:56

I agree, it could well start a tit for tat reporting thing and it might be worth it for the council to keep sending someone due to the amount of revenue the tickets will provide Sad