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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to write to the college? Parking thread!

56 replies

Rollersara · 29/08/2012 09:42

We live on a small village street with limited parking. There are four "official" parking spaces with double yellow lines in between where you can fit another 2 cars. There are never any traffic wardens and no-one seems to know why the double yellows are there.

I'm disabled and have a young baby and have applied for a disabled space right outside my house (currently double yellows), I already have a blue badge, but it could take 18 months to happen. I have real trouble getting DD to and from the car and if I have additional stuff like shopping or swim stuff I can only really do it if the car is outside my house. The neighbours have been really kind, they all know I find things difficult so don't park outside, except one. The one is a student at the local theological college. DP has been round and asked him (very nicely!) if he could try and avoid parking outside our house, but he does, repeatedly. I'm worried now that if I do go out I won't be able to get my stuff back in the house again.

DP has suggested writing to the college about it. My instinct was that this is OTT, it's a minor parking violation and a bit thoughtless. I mentioned it to my sister though, who is a vicar, and she agreed with DP. I feel bad as I wouldn't complain if it was just any student, but shouldn't someone who plans to be a vicar show a bit more care and compassion (and, as my sister says, it reflects badly on the church)?

DP and I are both atheists and I don't want him to think we're just anti-religion!

OP posts:

Original poster

Rollersara · 29/08/2012 11:03

, Oh no, I thought I might have had a solution there! I will chase up the parking space application and see if the people dealing with that have any advice...

OP posts:

WineGoggles · 29/08/2012 11:07

Rollersara I'd suggest having another word with the student. Tell him how you find it very hard to get about and need to be able to park outside your home. That otherwise you end up housebound. If he still doesn't park somewhere else I'd be inclined to tell him you expect a future vicar to have some bloody empathy!

TheCraicDealer · 29/08/2012 11:08

Why don?t you go round, rather than your DP? I know that if it were me and I had a woman on crutches at my front door reminding me politely not to park outside her home it would mortify me into never doing it again. It could be more effective (and quicker) than the college route.

WorraLiberty · 29/08/2012 11:15

I agree with Craic

Try going to have a word with him yourself and taking the baby with you too

Once he actually sees you, he might have some understanding of what you DH said?

zzzzz · 29/08/2012 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Rollersara · 29/08/2012 11:48

I guess it would be better to go round. I hate talking to people I don't know well (my speech is hard to understand, worse if I'm stressed). I am housebound today, the car is round the corner as there was no space outside last night. I walked home with DD yesterday but it took ages (have to stop every few steps, getting worse as she gets heavier), I can't face doing that again. :(

OP posts:

McHappyPants2012 · 29/08/2012 11:52

phone an non emergency police 101 i think the number is.

zzzzz · 29/08/2012 12:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Indith · 29/08/2012 12:07

I don't think that going to the college is a bad thing to do actually since your dh has already spoken to the student involved. As a student all the mail etc form university to those living out of college and those with cars reminded us to respect the local residents and complaints from residents about student behaviour were fed back to the students. A college which brings large numbers of students to an area must be held responsible for upholding behaviour and a polite phone call will not be considered odd, rude or over the top by the college.

5madthings · 29/08/2012 12:13

i dont think writing to the college will help tbh, but i do think he is being a dick, he is parking illegally and as your dh has spoken to him several times to explain the situation and yet he continues to do it he isnt showing himself in a good light. anyone with an ounce of compassion and understanding would make sure the space if kept clear for you!

why does it take 18mths to get your space sorted?> i know someone who has a blue badge and has a disabled spot outside their house, they applied for i think, i shall aks her how long it took and if there is naything that can speed the process up.

would it help for example if you get letters from your gp/consultant to back up your claim along with your blue badge, it really should not take 18mths for them to look into and make a decision!

actually thinking about it, we had issue where we live with students parking inconsiderately adnt he college were informed. ditto round the school only parents this time and letters were sent out to students/parents etc asking them to park considerately and the local pcso were around at the times when people were parking to keep an eye on things, maybe something similar could be done?

WelshMaenad · 29/08/2012 12:16

Thing is, you don't have to leave the car there, you just need the space there to unload things, right? So you can do that, maybe, then have a rest, then move the car later on, within the three hour limit? Perfickly legal.

Original poster

Rollersara · 29/08/2012 12:22

I don't know why it takes so long - hopefully it will be quicker but that is what the council website said when I applied. They have contact details for my GP and specialist already, who are usually very helpful. I think the time taken is not to make the decision but to get the actually painting and signs for the space put up...

Community policing is another option, if they do deal with parking I have no idea what community police actually do

OP posts:

Original poster

Rollersara · 29/08/2012 12:26

Welshmanaed technically yes, but even to move the car I'd have to take DD with me, then somehow carry her back from where ever I park.

I did speak to someone at the council about my application when he phoned to get some details, and apparently not even the council know why the double yellow lines are there, so I'm definitely not causing an obstruction.

OP posts:

helenthemadex · 29/08/2012 12:27

I agree with others who have said that perhaps you should try talking to him rather than your dh, he may be more sympathetic

Also try the council and see what they say, good luck

5madthings · 29/08/2012 12:28

roller how old is your dd, if you have a playpen or somehwere safe to put her could you leave her whilst you move the car, even is she is strapped into the pushchair watching cbeebies, it would make it easier for you?

manicinsomniac · 29/08/2012 12:33

The student is being astonishingly unsympathetic (and yes, especially for a future vicar). However, I think others are right in that reporting might do more harm than good.

Maybe I'm too much of a doormat but I just can't imagine ignoring a personal request in that way! I've just moved house and the house opposite me has a painted cardboard sign outside saying 'we need this space please don't park in it or opposite it'. The space opposite is technically mine but as the road is very narrow, only one car can park if you see what I mean. So it makes things harder for me but it never occured to me to 'disobey' the unofficial sign, I just wouldn't have dared! I've since realised that one of the members of that household is in a wheelchair but the sign doesn't say so and I still followed its instructions without a thought.

Original poster

Rollersara · 29/08/2012 12:51

5madthings she's 6 months. But we're in a oneway system, so moving the car involves a 5 minute trip round the block.

I do think a homemade sign might be the way to go while I chase up the council.

OP posts:

5madthings · 29/08/2012 12:57

ok so its not ideal to leave her for 5 mins but if you know she is fed, changed, happy and is somewhere safe then it might be something worth looking at, esp as she gets older.

yes a sign is a good idea and hopefully the council will get their arse in gear!

NameGames · 29/08/2012 13:48

If students, or employees from a local institution regularly parked illegally on my street despiteredirect requests not to I would consider writing to the institution. Parking issues are taken into account when planning permission is for a particular use. The institution, regardless of whether it is religious or not, will likely want to know if its users are causing problems for local residents. When Institutions talk about being good members of their community, this is part of what they mean.

YWNBU to write to the college, or to report him to the local council. But obviously you do not have to. I am sorry that that one person can make your life so difficult by ignoring a reasonable request to be civil and if I were a neighbour of yours I'd be reporting him and writing lipstick notes on his windscreen (well maybe not the last, but I'd fantasize about it ).

BandersnatchCummerbund · 29/08/2012 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madrudge · 29/08/2012 15:04

PCSO should be able to help - some of them are marvellous with neighbour disputes. Unfortunately, parking is one of the issues that they have to deal with quite often! I wouldn't be happy leaving a six month old alone if there was the possibility that I could fall on the way back from a parking space.
Maybe if his car is there you could ask him to help you in with the bags/baby? While parked in the middle of the road!?

JollyBear · 29/08/2012 15:08

Arrange for you to go round with your sister, make sure she wears her collar. She could explain the problem re parking and make small talk about vicar training.

Your neighbour wouldn't want to look like a selfish fool in front of a fellow person of the cloth. Your sister might be interviewing him for a job one day!

Naoko · 29/08/2012 15:14

I actually would talk to the institution. I'm a student and my uni is very hot on antisocial behaviour impacting on neighbours - here a complaint like that could well land him with disciplinary action from the university. You've already tried to be reasonable by just talking to him, and your application for a disabled parking space is in the system and just taking a long time. You've done everything you could and he's not been at all responsive. If it was an ordinary parking space he was entitled to use it'd be different, but they're actually double yellows and he can't park there. You can, because you need to.

eurochick · 29/08/2012 15:18

Can't you go round there on your crutches? Possibly with your sister in tow?

Zalen · 29/08/2012 15:38

I'm wondering if this person knows that it is legal for you to park on a double yellow line if you have a blue badge (I didn't know that). Is it possible that he's thinking YABU to ask him not to park there just so that you can park there illegally instead. It might be worth talking to him again and making sure he does know that.

As far as reporting him, either to the College or to the Council I think you'd be totally justified to do so, however if it were me then I'd be very careful to keep absolutely in the letter of the law myself before reporting someone else. I always feel the moral high ground is a much more comfortable place to be. Can you time trips out so that dh will be around within 3 hours to move the car for you?

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