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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My nephew gave my 8mth old daughter red bull grrr!

72 replies

killagorilla · 28/08/2012 22:48

I was at my mums this bank holiday, me and my sil were washing up after Sunday dinner while my mum sat down with a hot chocolate and dd on her lap. DD reached out and put her hand in the cup (it was cool by then) and as babies do put her fist straight in her mouth.
My mum was like "oh I don't think you should be doing that DD!" obviously it was too late to do anything and I honestly don't think a few drops of hot chocolate will do her any damage so I said it was fine.
My nephew was sitting at the table and said "oh she doesn't want that she wants this" and tried putting her dummy in his red bull can and into her mouth! I was Shock and snatched the dummy from him (he is 18 and knows better IMO).
Then a couple of minutes later he "convieniently" spilt his can on the table right in front of my DD, she was right in there playing with the liquid on the table and fists straight in her mouth. My mum stood up (her and dd were soaked in the stuff)! Then nephew turns to me with this smug grin and said "see I told you she likes it!"
I called him a little shit and didn't really speak to him for the rest of the day. Now my brother has text me (nephew's dad) saying that I ruined a good weekend and thanks for that.
AIBU to not give a flying fuck and am still quite pissed off about the whole thing?

OP posts:
Socknickingpixie · 28/08/2012 23:26

mammy if your child is in the uk that is a criminal offense

Devora · 28/08/2012 23:27

Whatever the rights and wrongs of Red Bullgate, I'm quite surprised at how many posters are suggesting OP is at fault for not supervising her baby. Is it now considered substandard parenting to let your dc sit on granny's lap?

MammyToMany · 28/08/2012 23:27

I have to pick my battles with them and there are many of them although I think what they are prepared to tell me and what he actually gets are two different things [tip of the iceberg most likely]

Socknickingpixie · 28/08/2012 23:29

so preventing a crime being commited against your 14month old child is picking your battles?????

FallenCaryatid · 28/08/2012 23:38

My DS is 17, I've just read him the OP. He thinks your nephew is an idiot and even if the dummy was a joke, the spilling Red Bull so that your daughter and mother got wet was deliberately stupid behaviour. 'How old is he, 10?'
But then, he's got a lot of younger cousins and is used to being sensible and thinking when he's around them.
OP, I'd have been rude to him too.

OhTheConfusion · 28/08/2012 23:41

Mammy if I were you ExH would not be having access un supervised on those grounds!

MammyToMany · 28/08/2012 23:54

Yes, I pick my battles. There is nothing I can do about this and even my solicitor said there is no point perusing it as there is no proof whatsoever. I can't prove it and I can't stop him seeing his dc. And even if I dragged dc off for a blood test at 7pm on a Sunday night it's a mouthful and a half of guiness (which is a shot glass worth) and even if the blood test came up positive then who is to say he didn't grab the glass from the table. His word against mine unfortunately. Im not allowed to stop access.

akaemmafrost · 28/08/2012 23:57

Sad mammy it must feel awful to have to keep sending him. Poor ds and you.

zippey · 29/08/2012 00:05

I agree with the people saying that YANBU - It wasnt a nice thing to do and I dont think you were over-reacting. Your brother probably thinks you are though.

MammyToMany · 29/08/2012 00:09

To be honest in every other way he is treated like the centre of the earth. They adore him and his every smile or step is met with applause and I've never known a child get so much attention from a group of adults (he is the only baby in the family) I know he is well fed and entertained. They would never intentionally harm him, they just believe that the guiness is good for him (the iron in it I suppose) and that it will do him no harm. They mean well. I am the outsider, as I am not from their heratige (I'm not sure that's the right word) and they just seem to think I am misinformed and am stamping all over their customs I suppose.

bogeyface · 29/08/2012 00:11

It was a complete over reaction and had you called my DS a shit I would have rung you too! Yes his behaviour wasnt acceptable (and I would have bollocked him if he was my son) but you could have easily made that clear without calling him names, and if you felt it was needed you could have asked your brother to deal with him.

Sorry, but you lost any moral high ground you may have had the minute you called him a little shit.

piprabbit · 29/08/2012 00:17

BTW (and leaving the rights and wrongs of Red Bull to one side) you need to be discouraging your DD from sticking her hands into mugs of drink. She needs to learn that it is never fine to stick her hands in a mug. Next time it could be hot enough to scald her - up to 20 mins after you made the drink.

bogeyface · 29/08/2012 00:19

She needs to learn that it is never fine to stick her hands in a mug

Totally agree, and not only because of the heat issue but because not everyone would find a baby sticking their slobbery hand into their drink cute or ok.

my2centsis · 29/08/2012 00:28

Massive over reaction pfb at all?

Original poster
killagorilla · 29/08/2012 00:36

No she is my second, I have a primary school aged son. Although she was in scbu for a few weeks that might explain my Precious second born attitude Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
killagorilla · 29/08/2012 00:37

To be fair to myself I do now realise in hindsight the red bull thing was an over reaction. But hey a weekend with family and two kids hyper brings out the unreasonable in anyone. Biscuit for myself I guess.

OP posts:
bogeyface · 29/08/2012 00:41

I feel I should add to my post above that its perfectly ok to think "little shit" but not ok to say it!

IceCubes · 29/08/2012 00:41

He sounds like he was being very immature but I do think it was a bit of an overreaction on your part. He shouldn't have done it, fine, but it's not like he poured it down her throat.

On a side note, my friend's DM put Coca Cola in her 11mo's sippy cup. She was not amused... Now that really is the behaviour of a shit!

Viviennemary · 29/08/2012 00:46

So all she had was a few drops not a whole bottle. No he shouldn't have done it. But I agree with your family you are making a great fuss about this.

changeznameza · 29/08/2012 00:55

YANBU - putting a baby's dummy in red bull and trying to give it to them is appalling, i would be livid. your dd is at an age where she is just getting a taste for different foods and drinks. and red bull is no good for anyone.

and hello, deliberately spilling a drink so that your dd and your mil were 'soaked in the stuff'? that is horrible

changeznameza · 29/08/2012 00:55

sorry i meant your mum not your mil!

MeanAndMeaslyGabeeshAges · 29/08/2012 01:07

Must have missed the part where op said her baby was roaming the wilderness untended with a shard or glass as a dummy and wolves circlIng her!

YANBU. I wouldn't have worried so much about the redbull, but would have been spitting bricks at the behaviour of the ADULT who deliberately did something OP clearly didn't want him to do. Cocky idiot. I used to be a teacher, such wilful idiocy is a power struggle. They usually grow out of it by 16.

differentnameforthis · 29/08/2012 01:16

I called him a little shit and didn't really speak to him for the rest of the day

Nice. Hmm How about just explaining to him why she doesn't need it & why she won't be drinking it any time soon. Most 18yr olds don't really know better about what babies can/can't have.

LurkingAndLearningLovesCats · 29/08/2012 01:34

YABU about the actual red bull, but YADNBU about the behaviour!

YES he knows better. Everyone our age (only got two years on this moron) knows what that stuff is. I would be telling your brother that he needs to control his son's behaviour. Perhaps he is PFB who is a spoiled brat? Soaking his aunt and grandmother in red bull so he can 'win?' That's...Appalling doesn't even begin to cover it IMO.

He owes you and your mother an apology for deliberately spilling a drink all over the both of you.

You should tell your brother you over reacted to the drink because of his shocking behaviour. He's an adult, not a child.

StateofConfusion · 29/08/2012 01:47

I agree with lurking I was a parent at 18.

Your nephew was a twat, ok maybe you over reacted a bit but his behaviour was pathetic and immature and deserved a telling off.