To be upset about my baby coming back from first day of nursery with a bruise on her back?

[Kaloobear]

I genuinely don't know whether I'm being unreasonable or not.

Background: I have PND and massive anxiety, DD is PFB and I'm going back to work next week which I'm dreading, so I may well be being ridiculous and over sensitive.

She's got a big bruise in the middle of her back which wasn't there this morning :( I know children fall over/bump into things/etc but I was under the impression from the staff that anything hard enough to leave a mark would be recorded and reported to parents. (They haven't mentioned it.) DH thinks I'm being silly and she'll just have fallen against something and they won't have noticed and it's no big deal. I feel like she's only little (11mo), not yet walking so vulnerable to falling/getting knocked etc and it was her first day so they SHOULD have noticed something like that happening.

Should I mention it to them? She's going back on Thursday. I don't want them thinking I'm some nutter mother who can't let go (though I'm sure I am!) but equally I want to make sure she's being properly looked after.

I'm feeling so sad for her, she's such a wee thing and it's a big bruise, at least 5cm round.

A bruise on the back is probably one of the least noticed places, and could easily have happened at home before you left that morning.

I would try a childmider most likey cheaper and they ratio of chidren will be smaller also wont be chatting with staff like in anursery

Would they have reason to look at her back though? I can see that if she bruised herself without making a noise then it would have been missed unless someone specifically looked at her back.

YANBU YANBU YANBU

Completely right and normal to feel anxious about leaving your baby at nursery.

Completely fine to ask them about it - you are going to have to build an open and trusting relationship with them where both sides can raise concerns and you can work together on raising your DC. So go for it.

Good luck, I promise it gets easier.

Childminders do occasionally take their eyes away from their charges bojangles. So do sahms come to that.

Whilst I love our CM dearly and she was the right choice for us MrBojangles I am pretty sure she chats sometimes. It sounds like the OP has found a nursery that is a good setting for her baby. Accidents will happen and I suspect they may happen a bit more in the early weeks whilst staff are still adjusting to what a child can and cannot do and what the hotspots for that little one are. Certainly DD's only ever incident form at the childminders came home when she'd only been there a fortnight (bitten on the cheek by another child who is now her best bestest friend).

What happens when CMs need to go to the toilet? Do they take all their mindees in with them? Have always wondered.

Oh sorry OP hand an OT ponder there.

Glad the nursery reacted in the right way. It is almost as if it wouldn't have been so bad if it had happened next week, not on her first day.

It does get better and much, much better once they can tell you what has been happening in their day themselves. Good luck with going back to work.

YANBU to ask how your baby got a bruise but your expectations are too high if you think someone will always be able to explain them.

Children don't always cry when they fall over or knock into things, even if they do its often just a quick hug and check they are ok. and if the bump isn't in a place that is instantly visible there would be no indication of a bruise. I would be far more suspicious of anyone that can tell you exactly where every bruise on a child came from.

My own child was ( still is) always covered in bruises. Some are really really bad and quite big and it always makes me laugh that when I ask him how he did that he says "I have no idea".

I am glad you were happy with the nursery response and hope that you are soon feeling less anxious. Your child is going to get a lot more unexplained bruises and you will get more relaxed about it all x

We had CM but I much preferred it when ds went to a nursery - it's horses for courses obviously and a good childminder is better than a poor nursery and vice versa.

But personally I liked the more professional relationship with the nursery. I never felt quite able to speak up to CM even when she announced she was going to wean ds and asked me to buy and bring baby rice next time!

In the way OP was able to ring up the nursery and politely ask for explanation and then get the incident logged works better for me than a lot of over-friendly fannying about between a parent and CM.

Also CM carted four kids around in the car picking up from various nurseries half the time, the nursery staff might have chatted but they had a huge amount of space, toys and schedules of fun things to do all day.

As far as I know nurseries will want to know about injuries a child has when they're dropped off, even if they've been sustained at home, so certainly you should mention an injury that you believe was sustained in the nursery itself.

glad you got adequate reassurance op
that will put mind at ease
baby will love nursery

Glad you got the reaction you hoped for from the nursery and that they took it seriously. Best wishes for when you go back to work.

"In the way OP was able to ring up the nursery and politely ask for explanation and then get the incident logged works better for me than a lot of over-friendly fannying about between a parent and CM."

I don't "fanny about" when it comes to speaking to the parents of the children I mind! I keep proper records and articulate them professionally to the parents.

I'm sure you do, nokidshere. No offence intended. I should have said that's how I felt with my childminder, not that all childminders and parents fanny about.

Whether it was personalities or whatever, I found it awkward to speak to her directly whereas I felt more comfortable dealing with nursery managers and other staff. I felt more in charge, that they respected that I was the parent. Whereas my CM could be overbearing and I felt it was her way or the highway! She just wasn't great to be honest!