to not stay in all day with a 5yo who has chicken pox

[lecce]

Just that really. His spots first appeared about 3 days ago and have not all blistered over yet. He is perfectly well in himself but getting bored and fed up having stayed in for 2 days.

It's been said already but I can't believe how many people are so flippant about CP. Through MN and in RL I have encountered several people who have had horrible effects of people being thoughtless about infectious children. I can fully appreciate that it is boring and annoying to be stuck in the house, but how can that compare to what some people on here have experienced?

Couthy and Bunny, I am so sorry for your losses.

OP, I think that asking the question BEFORE going out and exposing other people is surely better than just going ahead and doing it. Some good ideas from people on here, and I'm sure there will be some of your DC's friends who have had it, so you could invite them over to play. DD1 had CP early on and she had a few play dates with a neighbour who had CP. I had no problem with it.

We decided to vaccinate DD2 before she started pre-school, figuring that the cost of the vaccine was less than taking 10 days off work for caring for a sick child. But I do think that it ought to be offered as part of the package of vaccinations against childrens' diseases.

I was at soft play the other day and was playing with DS2 (7 months) in the ball pool. A little boy of about 6 got in with his two younger siblings (about 3 and 18 months) and cheerfully announced "Oh you had better keep away from my sister as she has chicken pox."

I initially nodded and smiled, thinking he meant she had had it recently, but then looked properly and, sure enough, she had uncrusted blisters on her face and arms.

I whipped the baby out of there so fast that I was probably just a blur of speed. I couldn't work out who the parents were to go and have a fairly shouty robust word with them, so I told the staff who rolled their eyes and said "not again". Apparently people fairly regularly turn up with poxy children and are surprised when other people object. They said they would look for the parents and ask them to take the child home with the offer of a refund.

We were about to leave anyway, so I didn't see if there was any fall-out, but seriously. Soft play?! I'm not a precious parent and I know DS2 will get it at some point, but I would prefer him to be a bit older if at all possible.

Someone suggested going to somewhere quite where others are unlikely to be. Even that is far from ideal, DS is asthmatic and when he has been bad I try to take him to such places in his pram to reduce the risk of him catching anything else whilst ill.

Dont forget that c pox is still an illness, it can make the child sensitive and extra itchy in sunlight as well as more crabby than usual. Getting c pox as an adult is really horrible so try and stay in and away from potention vunerable people. Time to get creative with your time, it wont last forever.

dd1 had mild c.pox days later i came out and being in my 30's it was horrid, having to look after a two year old ,with no help and pox was no joke.
I was grateful though because i wasnt pregnant but was thinking about it. A couple of months later I wa pregnant and was so aware of the danger that i had inadvertantly avoid
ed.

kungfu - the staff at the kids school often had to call back parents who had taken their kids to school or nursery with really obvious chicken pox.

To be fair to the OP, many people do not know the risks - I certainly didn't before I saw some threads on here. I think most of the NHS literature focuses on the risks to the person who has CP IYSWIM, and for them the risks usually are low.

At least she asked and has come back to say she was BU.

Can you ring round your dcs friends mums and see if any DC are in similar position or had CP and invite them round?

I had chicken pox as an adult - it's really nasty then. Wiped me out totally for 2 weeks, during which time I pretty much didn't leave my bed other than to go to the bathroom/kitchen as absolutely necessary. By the very end when feeling better, I went to OH's house (we were just going out then), as he had definitely had it, and it was REALLY nice to get out. Based on that, I'd say you could possibly drive round a friend's house where the whole family were immune, but that's about your only option.

Thank you for all the replies and I'm very sorry to hear of the losses and illnesses some of you have suffered. We haven't been out and won't until they are all crusted.

I must say, it would be nice if people actually read stuff before being rude - I had no idea it was stupid and selfish to ask for advice and opinions. Some people on here have had awful experiences that have made them very well-informed about this topic, others may have better informed than me regardless. However, sometimes you don't know what you don't know - the person who told me I was stupid for even asking needs to remember that. I had a quick google before coming on here and the site I looked at did play down the seriousness of CP.

Fwiw, the family ds must have caught it from came round here for a playdate when their ds was covered in unblistered spots and told us that it was not catching once the spots appeared. They are both well-educated people, as are we but, as I said, sometimes you don't know what you don't know.

lecce: i agree with you. i was same as you. i just never knew it was that dangerouse untill i read this thread. some people have come across pretty rude like because they know so should you type of thing. im sure them people must have been told at some point. i have never ever been told bye anyone there for i culd not know.

i have exposed other children/adults to chicken pox as its also catching before the spots come out there for i did not know. and im sure its the same for many others.

I did think a lot of people obviously didn't read the thread as you said quite early on they you weren't going to go out. And yes, I've never thought of the pox as anything but a childhood illness to be got out of the way ASAP. I now know how dangerous it can be. although I did the school run with my poxy kids I didn't think to ask to pick up and drop off later. (and dh did stay at home when he could but he works, and I know no one from here with kids from my kids school) I tried my best to keep them out of the way of others at pick up, they stayed holding my hand at all times.

I feel guilty as ds5 had the pox but caught it again back off his brother a few weeks later, and came out in the spots 2 days after a big birthday party with lots of littlies. As he'd already had it I thought he was safe. I guess I'll find out next week if anyone caught it off him there.

I apologised for replying to the thread from just the title, in one of my previous posts.

It is because time and time again on here, I find myself having to explain in full, hurtful detail just how it felt to give birth to my SB baby boy because of CP.

It stuns me that people can be so ignorant about how dangerous CP can be, probably because given my family history (Great Nan having chemo for ovarian cancer when I was 4/5, Great Aunt dying of breast cancer after chemo when I was 7/8, Nan having breast cancer and chemo when I was 10/11, Cousin having kidney transplant when I was 12/13, me being hospitalised with CP when I had it for the third time at 14, me losing my baby, my DS2 being immunocompromised by his prednisolone for his severe asthma, my DD 's friend having chemo for leukaemia), it has just ALWAYS seemed like a severe illness to me.

I appreciate that not everyone has had the experiences that I have had which makes me more aware than most about just how severe an illness CP can be, but when it is the 15th time in a year you have had to bare your soul to try to get people to understand just how important it is to keep a child with CP indoors until they are completely crusted over, every last spot, on here, occasionally you do just jump in feet first and respond to the thread title.

Which I accept is unfair on an OP who is just looking for information. But when the thread is also in AIBU rather than _Chat, or General Health, or Children's Health, I tend to get a bit that anyone has to ask if they are being unreasonable, rather than asking politely in another section what the risks to their child and to others might be from taking a DC with still-infectious CP might be.

I think the way that the question was posed hot my back up a bit, for that I apologise, OP.

Thank you - I did see your previous apology as well which I probably should have mentioned .

I also see your point about AIBU and, in my defense there, many times I've posted in other places and had little or even no response.

I did think afterwards that I should have put would I be, rather than Am I, as that gave the impression I had already made up my mind to go out and I really hadn't.

kungfupanda you say your child will 'get it at some point' - out of interest, does CP and how serious it can be not worry you? Would you think about the CP vaccination?