AIBU or Bridezilla?!!

[dizzylizzi]

My little sister is my bridesmaid. She hasn't shown an interest whatsoever in the wedding arrangements (my mum has more than made up for this...) I asked her to arrange the hen do. There were loads of ideas, a group set up on FB and people invited. lots of people...who all gave thier ideas, tried to take over....and then dropped out. We (I) finally nailed the date down to last Sat night, It was agreed that we were all going to go to Manchester, Dressed in burlesque, go for a meal, then on to a burlesque club. LS had arranged that part and booked the table in the restaurant then the burlesque club. She failed to arrange proper transport, get deposits off people, and secure numbers. So that all fell through, and as no actual deposits were placed at the venues, I decided, that as numbers had decreased dramatically, I got hold of all the money (which m mum had put into a seperate acocunt) and paid for a minibus to take the 6 of us to the nearest big town (which was shite) booked a table for food then went round the pubs, and to the grottiest nightclub ever)
One of the girls that came is quite young and unfortunately forgot her ID. Not a problem to me or the other girls. Its the company not the venue that count (to a certain extent!) My LS had a go at me, said that If she didnt get into the next pub, that her BF would have to come and get her.
In the second pub, we were all sat round the table happily drinking. She tagged a pic of me and her of FB. which was then commented on b a relative of a side of the family (M biological fathers) whom I have basically cut off, for other reasons which I CBA going into atm. She hasnt cut them out. She then had a go at me infront of my friends, going on about why I shouldnt have cut them out, that Im being nasty etc etc....Made everyone feel uncomfortable, to which one of them blurted "yes well, lets move on and change the subject" THANK FUCK!!!
Once we were in the nightclub, I wasnt happy. LS had reserved seating or VIP area in this dump, but had failed to let us all know that we needed to be there before 11:30 so we missed ou of the free bubbly etc. Just got plonked in the seating area and expected to get on with it.
She also hadnt arranged any sashes, special bride tackyness stuff, etc (I did all that) Wasnt made to feel special, her idea of wedding conversation was what hairstle she wanted on the day....Shes just a piss poor idea of a BM IMO, and If I could replace her I would!!

[ExitStencilist]

Aw, did the special lady not get a sash and a load of people to dress up in stupid costumes for her special party?

[NurseBernard]

She does sound like a piss poor BM, but your idea of a good hen night sounds like some sort of fresh hell to me - so YANBU and Bridezilla, if that helps?

[ChaoticismyLife]

The moral of this tale is to always arrange the hen night yourself, if you want something specific, especially if your BM is showing very little or no interest.

[dizzylizzi]

Exit....Its not the fact that I didn't get a fucking sash thats annoyed me! Id have been quite happy with a meal in the local indian, if shed had arranged it better, and not been a total brat with my friends!!

[kdiddy]

She sounds shit. Whatever the occasion, if you're organising a celebration for someone you should make more effort than that. And not have a go at the person whose party it is in front of everyone else there.

If you need her to do anything specific for you at the wedding then I think you need to spell out what is.

[thecatsminion]

I don't think you're being unreasonable about wanting your sister to do a bit more organising if she agreed to be bridesmaid - but I think you should probably have fired her earlier when it was obvious she wasn't making an effort.

The ID business wasn't your fault and I don't know what you could have done about that.

The stuff about your family - that wasn't the time or the place for your DSIS.

YABU about the dressing up and sashes. Loads of people hate that sort of thing and would have found excuses not to go if they thought that's what they were in for. Also, loads of brides find it mortifying - did you tell your sister that's what you wanted?

So a mixture of YABU and YANBU from me!

[missymoomoomee]

If your sister hadn't shown an interest in the wedding then you should probably have either organised your own hen do or asked a more reliable friend to do it if all that stuff is important to you. You sound a bit bridezilla to me tbh.

[Flisspaps]

Bridezilla-ish. But then I arranged my own hen do precisely to avoid the wanky sash, fancy dress palaver.

[dizzylizzi]

After Sat night, I don't want her to do anything. Turn up, look pretty, STFU!!!

[WorraLiberty]

The OP isn't asking about her choice of hen night.

OP I don't think you sound like a Bridezilla really...but surely you must know what your sister is like?

I know it's traditional to let the BMs arrange the hen night but if I had bothered to have one, I would have arranged it myself.

Lesson learnt but I think you should move past it now and just concentrate on the most important thing...your marriage.

[DreamingofSummer]

Bridezilla!

[dizzylizzi]

I didn't in all honesty want to do the dressing up thing. I said right from the start, I wanted it close to home, and a few pubs. But so many people took over, who in the end didnt come. A right to be pissed off?? I think so!!

[dizzylizzi]

Worraliberty I think youre right.

[diddl]

"I didn't in all honesty want to do the dressing up thing. I said right from the start, I wanted it close to home, and a few pubs. But so many people took over, who in the end didnt come. A right to be pissed off??"

Perhaps you should just have put that?

Never occurred to me not to organise my own hen night tbh.

Hope the wedding goes OK-that´s the important bit!

[mum11970]

Sound like a bit of a bridzilla to me. How old is your sister?

[JodieHarsh]

Nah, you're not being a Henzilla. Trust me, I've got stories of Henzilla behaviour that would make your hair curl, and make you look like mother Theresa.

she sounds a bit of a brat. and I don't see what's wrong with wanting a nice peaceful friendly evening out with pals that doesn't include having your DS drag up ancient and unpleasant family history.

YANBU IMO. Hope the wedding goes well!

[JodieHarsh]

Dsis even! Three years on MN and I still can't get that right

[HmmThinkingAboutIt]

And the moral of the story is this is why Hen Dos are shit.

They cause unecessary arguments before the wedding.

[JodieHarsh]

Hen Don'ts, as I like to think of them

don't even get me started on hen weekends. Who the hell do people think they are?!

[TallDwarf]

I agree with worra as usual

Forget about it now op, just look forward to your wedding and a happy future :)

[DuelingFanjo]

do you think you might have taken over the hend do arrangements a bit, OP?
You just sound like you were getting a bit over-involved? If that was because you knew your LS would be crap at it, why did you ask her and not someone else?

[dizzylizzi]

mum11970 she's 27....

I had to take over cause it wasnt happening!! loads of girls dropped out because of it imo...

[OhNoMyFoot]

I doubt it's your sisters fault other people didn't turn up tbh

[dizzylizzi]

Who's fault then?

[gordyslovesheep]

how old is your sister

To be honest I think YAB a bit U - you could see she wasn't coping/bothering with organising the hen do so you should have taken over - the unreasonable bit is wanting everyone (her) to do it all and to do it exactly how you wanted

oh and somebody YOU don't like making a comment on FB - why is that an issue - it wont harm you