AIBU or Bridezilla?!!

[dizzylizzi]

My little sister is my bridesmaid. She hasn't shown an interest whatsoever in the wedding arrangements (my mum has more than made up for this...) I asked her to arrange the hen do. There were loads of ideas, a group set up on FB and people invited. lots of people...who all gave thier ideas, tried to take over....and then dropped out. We (I) finally nailed the date down to last Sat night, It was agreed that we were all going to go to Manchester, Dressed in burlesque, go for a meal, then on to a burlesque club. LS had arranged that part and booked the table in the restaurant then the burlesque club. She failed to arrange proper transport, get deposits off people, and secure numbers. So that all fell through, and as no actual deposits were placed at the venues, I decided, that as numbers had decreased dramatically, I got hold of all the money (which m mum had put into a seperate acocunt) and paid for a minibus to take the 6 of us to the nearest big town (which was shite) booked a table for food then went round the pubs, and to the grottiest nightclub ever)
One of the girls that came is quite young and unfortunately forgot her ID. Not a problem to me or the other girls. Its the company not the venue that count (to a certain extent!) My LS had a go at me, said that If she didnt get into the next pub, that her BF would have to come and get her.
In the second pub, we were all sat round the table happily drinking. She tagged a pic of me and her of FB. which was then commented on b a relative of a side of the family (M biological fathers) whom I have basically cut off, for other reasons which I CBA going into atm. She hasnt cut them out. She then had a go at me infront of my friends, going on about why I shouldnt have cut them out, that Im being nasty etc etc....Made everyone feel uncomfortable, to which one of them blurted "yes well, lets move on and change the subject" THANK FUCK!!!
Once we were in the nightclub, I wasnt happy. LS had reserved seating or VIP area in this dump, but had failed to let us all know that we needed to be there before 11:30 so we missed ou of the free bubbly etc. Just got plonked in the seating area and expected to get on with it.
She also hadnt arranged any sashes, special bride tackyness stuff, etc (I did all that) Wasnt made to feel special, her idea of wedding conversation was what hairstle she wanted on the day....Shes just a piss poor idea of a BM IMO, and If I could replace her I would!!

Who's fault? Well, I've found that people are very unreliable at committing to coming to any event unless they are really, really keen to go, and then if something else comes up that they consider to be a better offer (e.g. a party where they don't have to pay anything) they often let you down.

Based on what you say, people probably pulled out for the following reasons:

They didn't have enough money (especially if they are coming to the wedding, buying a gift and getting babysitters).

They don't fancy that particular type of event e.g. they don't like drinking much.

They needed to know definite details before they made a decision as to whether to come.

Something else came up so they weren't going to be able to make it.

Out of interest, are all the people that got excited about the hen night coming to the wedding celebration? Perhaps they don't want to go to the Hen do if they are not being asked to the wedding or is that not how it works?

To summarise, there may be many, many reasons why people didn't come. It might not only be your LS not arranging things to your liking. Did you tell her precisely what you wanted?

Perhaps the ones who didn't turn up, just didn't feel comfortable being dressed in burlesque?

Even if it's not compulsory, the fact some others would be dressed that way might have made them feel like the odd ones out?

I arranged my own hen party and oddly enough... Got exactly what I wanted

Yabu

I think u are being a bit unreasonable. You probably should have arranged it yourself.

My hen night was a delight. My husband to be was busy chatting up an ex girlfriend in the same place we were, my best friend told me my hub to be was an arse & i ended up going home early crying.& i didnt get the sashs & silly costumes

However my best friend was right & my exH is an arse. Should have bloody listened to her that night & not got married.

YANBU - and not bridezilla. Most of the things you're pissed off about would have ruined a normal night out, and I think it's reasonable to expect at least a little bit of fuss for your hen.

I read the OP that you're not pissed off about the Facebook comment, lack of ID etc, but your DSis's reaction to it on the night?

Correct BigRedIndiaRubberBall

Whose fault? Well I would suggest they are adults who made a decision not to come. For whatever reason they chose not to come they aren't real friends. Real friends would have come along and made sure you'd enjoyed it. Yes you sister didn't pull it off but it's not all her fault.

It does sound like you and your sister have clashing ideas about what the role of BM should involve. I only had one BM and all I expected of her was to wear the dress that we picked out together, get ready with me before the ceremony, be in the pics and have a good time.
IMO hen nights/weekends belong in room 101. Fortunately the majority of my friends share that opinion and as a consequence I have only been on two. I had a good time at both but they definitely didn't justify the expense, time, travelling and general effort all under the cloud of obligation.