to be hypothetically a little upset over a wedding

[toysoldiers]

I know, I know, I know another wedding thread and I really am only posting on here so I don't have to say anything out loud to anybody in real life.

My niece is getting married soon. We are very close and always have been, she is very close to my DSs.

She is having 5 bridesmaids, 3 of her friends and the 2 daughters of my cousin (so technically they are her second cousins), although she isn't particularly close to him or his wife.

However, there isn't a role for either of my DS. I know the window on the page boy is much much shorter than for a bridesmaid but I still feel a little hurt that they have been left out.

I realise they would probably rather die than get dressed up in front of people so it is all in my head really.

Feel free to slap and move on.

HTH

Btw how old are your DSs?

I'm sure they'd hate every second of it.

Don't take it personally, if she knows your DS's then she'll know that much about them.

< Slap >

Now move on

They are about to be 8 and 5. So I'm prepared to write off the 8 year old but I thought at least the 5 year old might have been in with a chance

Right seriously - you can't help how you feel. Your mummy bear instincts are lovely, but you've said yourself the boys won't enjoy it...

Weddings will always cause friction, just take deep breaths and be thankful they don't have a key role to play so you don't have to watch them like hawks on the day. You'll be much more relaxed just being there to enjoy the occasion.

See Above

pull yourself together woman

I can see how you are hurt though especially if you are close your sons could have been ushers or somethingI am sure she didnt mean to hurt your feelings

maybe buy them both a velvet waistcoat and knickerbockers and dress them up. Get them to pickpocket the rings and follow your DN into church?

It will be much, much easier for you. She has done you a wonderful favour, as you will be able to enjoy the wedding so much more.

My worst wedding experience involved supervising DD aged 9 as a bridesmaid.

i bet as a close relative she knows your sons and didn't want them being uncomfortable.

Lol at Nagoo!!!

Maybe their ages are the problem? The 5 yo could be a pageboy but the 8 yo would probably hate it. So she has a dilemma: have 1 pageboy and upset the other?
The 5 yo (and probably the 8yo) are too young to be ushers.

Move on

But enjoy the wedding without the hassle of suit fittings / rehearsals and fear of misbehaving pageboys / ushers

Nagoo, that's EXACTLY what I'm going to do.

Maybe I've got time to get myself an owl too

Nagoo

8 is definitely out and 5 is pushing it. YANBU for feeling a little disappointed, they're your feelings. On the bright side as other's have said you'll probably have a better time not having to supervise :)

I think it is probably part of my 'I never wanted a girl but ............' list.

I shall make do with a large hat.

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?hl=en&rlz=1C1CHFX_en-GBGB463GB463&biw=1024&bih=475&tbm=isch&tbnid=T1aonj4U_4YnWM:&imgrefurl=funfamilycrafts.com/tag/costume/&imgurl=funfamilycrafts.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Kids-owl-costume.jpg&w=400&h=600&ei=mao8UOiTOOPN0QX52IDgCw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=594&vpy=89&dur=69&hovh=275&hovw=183&tx=118&ty=174&sig=109890380451224964704&page=2&tbnh=140&tbnw=93&start=16&ndsp=17&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:16,i:150" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">two birds one stone?

Having had to wrestle a full morning suit onto a 4 year old boy before I shall be helpful and joinn in with the slap
just bear in mind you will be able to relax a bit more and not have to worry so much about the boys getting a bit mucky on the day! Your neice has done you the biggest wedding favour ever and deserves many many drinks from you!! (not still annoyed about THAT particular wedding at all, oh no, can't you tell? )

Yes I think you're right.

She has said that she didn't think it would be fair on them.

I just need to get over myself. I think I'm just a little on my high horse that my DC will not be part of the wedding party but my cousin's DC will be, just because they are girls not boys.

But I shall think I more about it. Thank you for letting me get it out of my system

Consider this a lucky escape. I always dreaded the possibility of my sons being pressganged into asked to be page boys. Starting with the nightmare that would be the awful outfit that neither would have wanted to wear. Sometimes, there are distinct benefits to having boys.

I can't slap you as i understand how you feel.

If you want to tick off one on your list you can take my DD shopping for flower girl pram shoes and then if you enjoy that you can help me spend the day keeping food off her white, I repeat WHITE, dress.

pastabee I would love to

Runs in gives you a severe eye rolling..and does a mn flounce out.
dropping s as i go

I spent the weeks before my wedding having a lovely time pretending to my DNephew (8) that he had to be a pageboy. He never quite believed me but I had fun teasing him about it.

I expect there's been some pressure from another relative about the cousin bridesmaids.

They'll have a much better time running around at the reception and having too much sugar than they would dressed up in twee little outfits having to behave through the ceremony.

YABU. my DD (aged 2.8) has been a flowergirl 5 times in the last year!
it is a bloody nightmare and she has never stayed completely clean in time for the photos and by the end of the wedding breakfast i give in and let her run around in her pants (or nappy before potty training).
you should love your cousin even more for not asking them! she obviously really cares about you!

i'll add that i was so relieved yesterday to receive an invitation to a wedding that she is not invited to! (i know, what a horrible parent )