to expect my husbands attention

[mummymunns92]

My husband has always spent alot of time on his xbox but lately it seems he can spend hours on there talking to his mates but cant hold a five minute conversation with me. I try and talk to him but he always ignores me because he is on his headset with his online friends. I just told him how i feel about it all and he just walked off and went back online. Its really pettu but im really jelous of how much of his time his friends get when i get none :-(

Yanbu. It's fair enough for dh to play and do so online with his mates but there needs to be some you time too. My ex hubby did this constantly and didn't care we were spending no time together. Hence why he's now the ex hubby.

It feels like we never talk he spends all night on there he has promised me time and again to come off early and just cuddle up and watch tv but he hasnt its so frustrating he doesnt even see anything is wrong or understand why im upset

Before I start - I am in my fifties - different generation I know.

If my husband played games constantly I would think he had gone off his rocker. Tell you DH to grow up. I cant believe there are married men out there playing on the xbox. My DH had a similar conversation with a guy of around 26 who told DH he played on xbox. My husband told him to bloody well grow up and get on with family life. To someone of my age it seems so pathetic but I suppose times change. I wouldnt want to be in my 20s now for a pension. The men seem to be more immature than when I was young. If I met a man who constantly played Monopoly people would think I was mad being interested in him, I dont see there is much difference!

MrsClown! - you sound very wise. I wish you were my mum .

Sorry forgot to answer your question YANBU! I have a 19 year old son who has an xbox but he hardly uses it, he is too busy with life - girlfriend, work etc.

Just - not wise - probably just old!

Wise.

Thank you Just - you have made my day!

.

This was me last year, he was addicted to eve online.

I gave him an ultimatum start spending time with me and the kids or he can pack his things and get out. It got to the point where he spent over 46 hours straight on the damn thing.

Yes because I meant it, there was no way I was being 2nd best.
He doesn't even play on eveonline any more.

We now cook together, watch films and most important our sex life ( which last year didn't exist) has improved so much.

I have fell in love with him all over again

And 46 hours is not a typo

not so much generationas MrsClown - i'm in my thirties and feel exactly the same as you!

if DH did this i'd think he'd lost his mind

you need to have stern words IMO Op

Spot on, MrsClown.

I'm obviously in a minority of one here, because I disagree with MrsClown. I don't see that it's much different from DH reading a book, which is what he might have done in days gone by. I don't mind if he wants to play on his X-Box - he works hard for his family and he needs time to switch off and relax. It doesn't mean he's immature, or that he doesn't "get on with family life". He's extremely serious and conscientious about his work, and devoted to his family. You'd be hard-pressed to find a more "grown-up" and responsible man, but he loves computers and gadgets - so what? My Grandpa used to spend hours and hours in his shed tinkering with bits of wood - do you suppose my Grandma moaned to her friends that he should grow up? My Dad used to go to watch Arsenal with my uncle every week - was that immature too? It's just a hobby!!!

In answer to the OP, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Lips is a fabulously fun game to play together! :D

I don't think an adult playing a computer game is inmuture dh still plays on the computer.

It just needed him to get the balance right.

P.S. By the way, my Dad is 71 now and doesn't go to watch Arsenal play any more. He is too busy playing on his X-Box!!! :D :D :D

The difference between going to a football game and playing on the computer is that social skills are required to go to a football match. Also, people dont tend to go to football matches every day. My husband likes to tinker in his shed but not every night and certainly not for most of his free time. This is what I mean when I say it is a generation thing. I guess Im just old.

In answer to the OP - (this is from my DH) cut the plug off and start a conversation - old fashioned I know but there we are!

Wow, I must be really bad then. Sometimes I spend my evening playing my Xbox - husband wants to watch boring history programmes, I don't, so I go and do that.

What would you rather he were doing, OP? Is the alternative some quality time together that you can BOTH enjoy? Good luck

MrsClown1

Tell you DH to grow up. I cant believe there are married men out there playing on the xbox.

You said it yourself - you are from a different generation. Many games now are not aimed at children. The market has moved on since the 80s, the games industry is hundreds of times the size that it was, bigger than Hollywood, and much of that industry is targetting adults.

I don't think the OP is being at all unreasonable, but playing games, while it can certainly be selfish neglect of one's partner, isn't per se a childish pursuit.

Cuddling up watching tv isn't really that different. Maybe you need to do something else together instead?

Absolutely bizarre.

Sod all to do with age; I'm 50+ and play XBOX games, usually while DW is chatting to her mates. It annoys her far less than me reading and watching TV, and far, far less than me talking to her, while reading and watching TV