Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to leave baby to cry?

55 replies

raininginbaltimore · 27/08/2012 19:01

DD is 3 weeks. Ds was a screamer of a baby. Hours and hours every day. He was later diagnosed with reflux. Anyway it was hell, weeks and weeks of colicky evenings. But I never left him, always tried soothing him.

DD hates being put down, won't tolerate bouncy chair, swing etc, much like her brother. She will go in sling, but tonight is screaming and won't even tolerate that.

Some friends have said I should just put her down for a few minutes to deal with ds. But I can't bear the idea of leaving her when she iscrying. And putting her down makes her scream more.

The screaming is doing me in. I can't believe I have had two babies like this. Doesn't seem fair!

I have been told if I leave her a bit she will become more chilled as she learn. Am I being soft for holding her all time?

OP posts:
Molehillmountain · 27/08/2012 19:47

If you have a smart phone download a white noise app. Works a treat for us.

griphook · 27/08/2012 19:53

Hi op, how old is you ds, the only reason I ask is you say your friends have said to put dd down to deal with him.

I'm not criticising, my ds is 2 and ds2 is just 3 months and sometimes I have to leave ds2 crying, not out of choice but because ds1 needed me.

I hate doing it as I don't believe in cc but sometimes it very hard when you only have 1 set of hands.

Giddypants · 27/08/2012 19:54

Could it be colic? DS had colic 24/7 for 4 months he wouldn't settle until 4 am every morning he was bf, but really wish I ff will do with this one!
The sling worked for a short time.
Does she like going for a ride in the car?

Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 27/08/2012 19:54

Have white noise app and cd, doesn't work.

Had cranial osteopathy with ds. But he had a ventouse and forceps delivery. Hers was calm and natural.

I know I just need to wait it out.

OP posts:
Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 27/08/2012 19:55

Ds is 2.11.

OP posts:
Some0ne · 27/08/2012 20:05

Don't just wait it out. There's a history of reflux in the family, it's very likely that she has it to - both mine do. Silent reflux doesn't involve vomiting. Bring her to the doctor and get a referral to a paediatrician. She may be in discomfort that could be fixed easily, and you'd all be a lot happier!

cansu · 27/08/2012 20:11

Try omneo comformile milk. Ds was just like this until I changed his milk to this. It's thicker and is apparently easier to digest.

Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 27/08/2012 20:15

I'll get an appointment tomorrow. What are symptoms of silent reflux? She does cough and kind of choke a bit, even when not feeding. Obviously the screaming and she will only sleep on her stomach or on me.

And she does that hu-hu-hu crying. And she often gags like she is going to be sick but isn't.

I need to be tough though. It took months to get ds referred as GP just kept saying "all babies cry, all babies are sick". It was only when he dropped down weight charts.

I will get appointment.

OP posts:
Iggly · 27/08/2012 20:16

Don't wait it out. Cranial osteopathy is a lot of woo IMO - and I tried it Grin
YY to silent reflux - its worse much worse and can be triggered by cows milk.

You could be waiting a long time for improvement.

Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 27/08/2012 20:24

Thanks. She gets hiccups loads and does that sudden crying thing.

OP posts:
Wigglewoo · 27/08/2012 20:26

I'd bet its silent reflux. My ds had it and he was a ightmare screamer. I couldn't leave him either - it really upset me to hear him cry and as other have said he was trying to tell me something ... He was prescribed infant gaviscon which did help a little but the biggest change was putting him onto smsma gold which seemed to suit him much better and the reflux / screaming has stopped. Its well worth trying different milks. He's now 10 weeks and is like a different baby.

I'd also raise the head of the cot / basket by putting books underneath the feet - helps with the reflux.

If all else fails try a vibrating bouncy chair and bounce it with your foot at the same time as the vibrate is on - its the only way I can have a tea and spend time with dd... If I'm really lucky he will go to sleep in it!! In fact I used to take him to bed in his bouncy chair if he feel asleep at bedtime as he was such a nightmare he'd be awake every hour or so and its the only way I got ANY sleep!!!!

Wigglewoo · 27/08/2012 20:27

*sma gold - bloody phone!!!

Hopeforever · 27/08/2012 20:28

My DS had a long birth and a squashed head, my dd a 'perfect birth' both benefited from cranial osteopathy. I know not all are helped but for the many who are......

Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 27/08/2012 20:29

How long do you try new milks for? (hopes it isn't aptamil that suits her as it might bankrupt us)

OP posts:
FriedEggsAndHam · 27/08/2012 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PenelopePipPop · 27/08/2012 20:41

Oh bless her. I don't think you can teach someone who is 3 weeks old anything (I'm not very optimistic about 2.5 year olds either). But I also don't think you will harm her if you pop her down in a safe warm place for five minutes whilst you make sure your DS is OK. Leaving her to scream for a long time would distress her (and you!) but I think all the studies showing increased cortisol and other stress hormones in babies left alone looked at things like CC or even CIO where babies are left alone for increasingly long periods of time. Not babies left for a few minutes here and there.

The only thing I would add is that she is not your DS. She is 3 weeks old. My DD was never the same two days running at that point. She could be crying for now and be very settled next week and there is no point worrying that you are facing four long hideous months of this. It is not inevitable.

Here's hoping she is all snuggled up in a Moses basket now.

Some0ne · 29/08/2012 14:40

That definitely sounds exactly like silent reflux. If you can't get a referral, try a different GP.

If you want to try something yourself in the meantime you can get Infant Gaviscon or Carobel over the counter from the chemist to thicken her feeds. If it's a mild case of reflux either of them could make all the difference in the world to how she feels.

Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 29/08/2012 17:24

Didn't realise you could get gaviscon over counter.

DH bought some comfort milk as it is thicker and has less lactose. Will try that. Will tell gp if they don't refer me I will keep coming back every day if necessary!

OP posts:
Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 30/08/2012 18:04

Pharmacist wouldn't sell it unless I was already seeing doctor. Need to register her before I can appointment. Failed today as had such a shit night couldn'tget us all out of house in time. Then had to see family.

She started screaming at 5pm. She is in sling but still screaming.

OP posts:
KenLeeeeeee · 30/08/2012 18:10

I don't have any helpful advice, but wanted to extend an internet weirdie hug ((()))

I hope you get to the bottom of it soon & she settles down for you.

Some0ne · 30/08/2012 20:18

Ugh, you poor thing, we only had a few evenings of non-stop crying with DS and it drove me to tears every time.

Stupid pharmacist. We never had that problem when we put DD on Gaviscon.

Iggly · 30/08/2012 20:26

You should be able to register her and get an appointment all at the same time - eg book appointment and they let you do the forms just before?

googietheegg · 30/08/2012 20:28

Yy to silent reflux, sounds just like my DD. She also had cranial osteopathy, which helped a bit, also infant gaviscon given before each feed.
She could also be overtired, esp the head thrashing bit. DD did this too. What worked for us is putting her down for a nap 90 mins after she wakes up, usually with a dummy, she's usually asleep in 10 mins now. Grin

CoolaSchmoola · 30/08/2012 22:11

My DD had terrible reflux and colic - she FINALLY stopped puking every feed at 8 months, and that was with Gaviscon. She is still on Gaviscon with milk though as without it the puking starts again, and she's 11 months now.

We tried a few formulas - SMA Gold was the worst, and my HV said a lot of babies struggle with it. Comfort - thicker, so the formula stayed down but the water it was made with separated out and projectiled. Ended up with Cow & Gate Infant 1 - and still on it as it's the best of the lot. We were advised to keep her on a new milk for at least two weeks to give her chance to settle. Some didn't make it that far as it was blatantly obvious they weren't going to agree.

We also tried a couple of over the counter meds:
Gripe Water - sick
Dentinox Colic Drops - sick
Colief - projectile!!

Then we went onto prescription:

Ranitidine (usually used for silent reflux) - projectile!
Gaviscon - less sick than before, and any improvement was amazing lol!

I really believe she has a lactose intolerance, but as she has gained steadily they wouldn't do anything, and I was backwards and forwards to the Dr as she was on the CONI Plus programme til two weeks ago.

She only vomits with milk, not water or juice. If she has more than one yoghurt in a day she pukes too. Still couldn't convince the HV though!