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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you don't bring a sick kid to visit a baby?

40 replies

caeleth · 26/08/2012 16:55

Inlaws visiting with dh's nephew (9). He's too sick to play football, coughs and sniffles constantly. We have a 10 wk old.

Aibu to think it's a bit odd to not even let us knowbeforehand? We didn'tjnow till dh asked nephew if he was sick...(he said yes).

OP posts:
WildWorld2004 · 26/08/2012 16:56

They should have said & maybe asked if it was alright. But what u going to do with the baby if u & your dh ever get a cold.

gemma4d · 26/08/2012 16:58

How long has he been ill for? Dd1 has had a few coughs that lasted a couple of months. I gave up not taking her places, despite very dirty looks when she had a massive coughing fit in the swimming pool.

applepieinthesky · 26/08/2012 17:00

I was going to say YANBU but he's not sick is he? He just has a cold Hmm

Original poster
caeleth · 26/08/2012 17:02

I realize i can't keep him away from germs, just wish we didn't have to deliberately expose him...

He's already had a cold he caught from me, it wasn't too pleasant an experience.

OP posts:
Original poster
caeleth · 26/08/2012 17:03

Must be more than just a cold if they're keeping him from sports though

OP posts:
Vagaceratops · 26/08/2012 17:04

Is he your first?

Original poster
caeleth · 26/08/2012 17:07

Yupp.. pfb ;)

So no nursery germs at home and an aibu to check if im being silly.

OP posts:
CanoeSlalom · 26/08/2012 17:08

YANBU. Not good manners at all.

bobbledunk · 26/08/2012 18:56

yanbu, tell them straight out that you expect them not to bring him if he's sick, turn them away if they fail to listen to you. There's no point in your baby being sick (and completely miserable because of it) unnecessarily at that age. Don't ever be embarrassed to stand up for him. They were very rude and thoughtless.

doobiedoobiedoobie · 26/08/2012 18:59

No YANBU at all. My BIL (who are actually really lovely but clearly didn't think things through on this occassion) visited us at home on the day DD was born (home birth they had been looking after DD1) at 10 hours old and bought their toddler who was coughing and colding all over the place. dD2 got bronchulitis and was poorly for 5 weeks.

Mollydoggerson · 26/08/2012 18:59

I think the baby has your immunity for the first 6 months.

doobiedoobiedoobie · 26/08/2012 19:00

Sorry that should say BIL and wife....

TeacupTempest · 26/08/2012 19:02

I think it depends really. Family friends brought their DD round to ours and only told us after I had held her that she had D and V...

I had an underweight newborn under hospital care at the time!

I had to leave the room to control myself!

dribbleface · 26/08/2012 20:14

I think it rude to be honest, having also had a poorly baby with bronciolitis, i would not be impressed.

Socknickingpixie · 26/08/2012 20:38

whilst not being the end of the world it is very rude and inconciderate to visit a tiny with ill people same as it is if you visit some other group of people who are likly to catch your bug.

fwiw i also think going to work when you have a chest infection breathing over everybody else and saying "ohh its ok its only a chest infection" is bad form as well.

if i had anybody resident in my house who for what ever reason was more likly to be impacted by an illness and a person came to visit with a illness that was contagious they would not be let in and i wouldnt care how pfb anybody thought it was. its different if the ill person also lives with you.

pigletmania · 26/08/2012 20:58

If he had D/V or flu than yes you don't visit anybody, but a cold not so bad

QuickQuickSloe · 26/08/2012 21:03

YANBU I used to despair when people would bring their coughing and sneezing children because I knew that I would be the one not getting any sleep with a snotty baby in a few days time. It's bloody rude!

ShortTether · 26/08/2012 21:04

YANBU

Very inconsiderate of them not to tell you beforehand so you could at least make an informed decision.

jaggythistle · 26/08/2012 21:07

it's a pain though having a newborn with a cold trying to feed and sleeping even worse. we all got one when DS2 was 3 weeks and it was rubbish.

i wouldn't wish it on anyone and always postpone visiting new babies if DS1 is coughing and sneezing.

i had to delay visiting my friend's pfb due to illness, she equally didn't bring her to see baby DS2 with a bad cough.

it's just thoughtful innit, you can't avoid all the germs especially with older siblings, but you don't take em with you if you don't have to.

Booboostoo · 26/08/2012 21:38

YANBU

While babies will get plenty of colds and get over them, there is no particular reason to expose them to it because the whole experience is a misery for everyone involved.

lovebunny · 26/08/2012 21:41

they have no right to bring a sick child to visit a baby.

my brother was born in 1962. we all had to wear masks when we looked at him - even my mum. that was a trend that didn't last! but it at least gave the impression that babies need to be treated carefully.

Notcontent · 26/08/2012 22:09

I think in the past people were a lot more aware of the fact that you should avoid spreading illness. Now many people seem incredibly blasé and unaware.

Even a cold is an illness and it is caused by a virus.

NameChangeGalore · 26/08/2012 22:18

I had a chest infection and flu when DS was 6 weeks old. You can't wrap them up in cotton wool...that's just ridiculous.

Ozziegirly · 27/08/2012 05:59

It's bad manners. In my mums group, where the children are all around 2, we don't worry about normal colds, but we would still do the courtesy of mentioning if our child has a heavy cold in case someone has something planned that they would like to avoid illness for.

I was v irritated a few months ago when we went to a birthday party and a mum brought her obviously sick child who had to go and have a lie down half way through and was pale green, as we were off on our first holiday in a year 3 days later. If we had known he was coming, we could have made the informed decision not to attend.

TiddlyBears · 27/08/2012 06:06

I agree, OP - I was upset to arrive at my friend's house with my 20 week old baby, to find her daughter had a rotten cold/temp that I has been unaware of. And we were taking them out for the day in the car.