to think you don't bring a sick kid to visit a baby?

[caeleth]

Inlaws visiting with dh's nephew (9). He's too sick to play football, coughs and sniffles constantly. We have a 10 wk old.

Aibu to think it's a bit odd to not even let us knowbeforehand? We didn'tjnow till dh asked nephew if he was sick...(he said yes).

Somebody bought a sick toddler to visit me when my DD was a newborn - she was 3 weeks old but had been born 5 weeks early. DD was admitted to ICU 5 days later with RSV Bronchiolitis which deterioriated to respiratory failure. She spent 4 days in ICU and a further 24 days in HDU.

All because a snotty toddler came to visit. Since then, I have changed my tune about visiting newborns when ill or with sick kids in tow.

Mine was also in itu with bronchiloitis, horrible. Caused by the same virus that would cause a nasty cold on most people, unlikely to be as bad in a healthy/ non preemie baby(mine had a birth defect) but still not nice. Germs are everywhere but some situations can be avoided to protect the vulnerable, and it is extremely rude and thoughtless to take the decision out of parents' hands.

You can't avoid all bugs but when they are avoidable - as this would have been - then it should be avoided. "just a cold" can be very serious for a little baby

Ds was full term and up til then healthy but the bronchiolitis still landed him in HDU for 5 days (thankfully just avoided transfer to ITU)

YANBU, why expose a newborn to germs unnecessarily. If the parents, or a family member who lives in the house, get a cold then that is a different matter as exposure can't be avoided.

It's not being PFB or wrapping the baby up in cotton wool, it's not making life harder than you need to.

YANBU it's not 'just a cold' when they're a tiny baby, it's a frigging nightmare when they can't feed or sleep. Yes, they'll get exposed to colds eventually but the bigger they are, hopefully the easier it is for them to cope with it

Absolutely. My DS caught a horrible bug at 5 weeks. He was ill for 5 weeks, could hardly breathe and had to sleep on my chest upright. Bloody nightmare

caeleth I agree with you tbh. I have three kids, but I wouldn't take one of them to visit a newborn if they were ill at all.

Thanks for the replies, guess its time to have a little talk before their next visit. Seems a bit silly to have to explicitly ask them if anyone is sick before each visit

OP we have to do that with DH's family. They are rubbish! DH's aunt still hasn't forgiven us for not letting her visit DD while she was in the special care neonatal unit and the aunt had FLU

I don't think it's on to visit anyone if you have a bug or even just a cold,without first asking if it's ok.i don't have any newborns but I do have a diabetic ds,he is a teen. Anything that makes him feel lousy and unable to eat has an impact on his health,I imagine that goes for a lot of other conditions ,like asthma.its just good manners surely to ask before hand if it's ok to visit?

YANBU, without a new baby I think it's polite to let anyone you're visiting know beforehand so they can choose whether to go ahead with the arrangement or not, there are lots of times when you can do without avoidable exposure to colds and recovering from a new baby is one of them.. but there's lots - moving, recovering from a virus yourself, exams etc etc

It's rude, new baby or not

Someone did that to me, brought their toddler with a STREAMING cold round a day after I was discharged from hospital following a CS, I was told I was UR as what about second etc babies - their siblings sometimes get colds but y'know what I woudn't visit someone post a normal operation with a full of cold toddler so I don't see why you are supposed to suck it up and not be so prescious following childbirth! and its not as if you can postpone living with your older DCs like you can postpone a visit is it?

hello imonikker i agree with you there was a mum at our baby group 2 years ago her child 8 months had a temperature was crying their mum said she had been v ill for a week.my 2 month old hadnt had his 1st injections at the time.days later he had a temperature and became very ill he had meningitis.please everyone read meningitis nhs choices and be aware of symptoms.

never take a child out with a fever or sickness and upset tummy.its so selfish to do so.for the comfort of your child as well keep them at home.

I think it is poor form. A baby is so vulnerable and if it gets a cold makes life difficult for everyone. You are right to be annoyed.

YANBU my dd had bronchiolitis when ten weeks old which is the cold virus in everyone else. She has since has a chest infection on average every four weeks, plus a spell in A&E and then admitted in hospital with pneumonia. She will likely have asthma and I think you are well within your rights.