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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he should let me know immediately

53 replies

TheQueenOfDiamonds · 26/08/2012 16:36

Possibly STBX OH is at cream fields. It's been called off early. He should have been coming back tomorrow, But they're all being sent home today instead.

I have not heard one word from OH. I only know this because my Mum rang to ask if OH was back yet, As she was meant to be having my son while we have a talk tomorrow.

He's switched his phone off now, As has his friend. I'm fucking fuming.

I couldn't give a shit if he comes back to stay, But the fact that he's not even called to ask how our son is, Or made any arrangements for his dog is what's annoying me. I cannot look after it. So now i'm sat here not knowing.

I feel fucking worthless tbh. I'm not even worth a fucking text.

OP posts:
Vagaceratops · 26/08/2012 17:05

Yes, and what HmmThinkingAboutIt says.

Vagaceratops · 26/08/2012 17:06

If thats what he is saying then you are better of without the twat!

Leena49 · 26/08/2012 17:07

You sound like you need to have a rolling pin in your hand
'what time do you call this. I've been slaving away.....'

If I was him I would stay out!

Birdsgottafly · 26/08/2012 17:14

Sorry to hear that.

My DP was working CF last night, he is a hackney driver.

I was just going to say that when it was announced this morning it was being cancelled, it was mayhem.

Around 20 Hackney's went from Liverppol, to pick up people, but with the Mathew Street festival starting and the football, there was massive delays.

OurPlanetNeptune · 26/08/2012 17:19

TheQueenOfDiamonds - perhaps it would be better to have this moved onto the Relationships board.

For what it is worth I am really sorry this is happening to you and your DS. He is obviously immature, disloyal and a complete twat. You and your son deserve better than him.

There are some excellent posters on MN who give some great support and advice and will be able to hold your hand, if that is what you would like. Keep posting if it helps. In the mean time I really hope you get some real life support.

DoMeDon · 26/08/2012 17:20

That's an awful thing to say. I agree with poster who says he is ashamed now you know about OW.

What is with the judgy, blaming posts aimed at OP? It is clear she is struggling.

Maybe head to realtionships where you could get some advice. Good luck OP and hope DS gets better quickly Brew

DialsMavis · 26/08/2012 17:24

Oh OP, you and your DS deserve better than that, much better

SoleSource · 26/08/2012 17:44

Your DP is a massive dickhead. Ignore tbe vile replies. Get rid asap. Come to relationship board Queen. He ciuldnt care kess about his DS being very unwell. What a cunt. X

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 26/08/2012 17:49

Leena your post is spiteful and childish. Grow up.

Birdsgottafly · 26/08/2012 17:57

Are you sure that his battery hasn't gone?

My DP is working there now, it is still very crowded.

DoMeDon · 26/08/2012 18:12

Have you read the thread birds - he's being horrid.

Birdsgottafly · 26/08/2012 18:24

It was an x post with the last one, but earlier it would have been difficult for him to give an answer over what was happening.

AThingInYourLife · 26/08/2012 18:31

"What is with the judgy, blaming posts aimed at OP? It is clear she is struggling."

It's a Mumsnet special.

Take one upset woman being treated like shit by her partner.

Focus on one small aspect of her post you find objectionable.

Tell her she is weak and deserves to be treated like shit.

Repeat as necessary until you find someone else to taunt.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 26/08/2012 18:33

It's vile on here at the moment.

Moominsarescary · 26/08/2012 18:33

I remember your thread from friday

So you confronted him about the messages you found and he's gone into a strop.

How is the baby now? Hope he's eating better. Measles can be horrible especially when that young. hope your ok

Sparkletastic · 26/08/2012 18:39

Really sorry he's being such a twat QofD - cold comfort but the sooner you and DS can start your new life without him the better.

WelshMaenad · 26/08/2012 18:42

I have no advice. I am so sorry he is treating you this way. I've not been about long but I've noticed you and think you're fab. He's a cunt.

McHappyPants2012 · 26/08/2012 18:45

Op I hope you are ok.

MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler · 26/08/2012 18:50

I think you just have to accept he is crap and get on with it. Not ideal of course, but you will manage. I hope your little one is on the mend and that you have support in RL from someone.

Threaten to get the dog taken by the RSPCA if he doesn't deal with it by a certain date. This is not fair on you or the dog.

saggyhairyarse · 26/08/2012 18:53

You are better off without this selfish manchild in your life, you will see that in a few months. I would send one last text asking him to confirm: 1) When he is going to collect the dog and stating that if it is not collected within 7 days it will be going to the dogs home), 2) you have spoken to Child Maintenance Options, X is how much child support he has to pay, can he confirm when he is going to pay and by what method?, 3) Please can he confirm when he would like to see X (DS) next and what access he would prefer? Then, wait... No reply within 7 days, dog goes to the dogs home/is rehomed, you get the CSA on his case and get a solicitor to sort out the rest.

Original poster
TheQueenOfDiamonds · 26/08/2012 22:37

I only asked him what they were about. I didn't have a go. I asked him saturday morning, I didn't ring him especially to ask him. But he had a massive go at me and called me a lazy selfish bitch.

Child support is pretty much going to be none existant. He has no work there.

DS Is asleep for the first time without being laid on me in a few days. I've got a pounding headache and runny eyes so i hope i don't have it too. Does anyone know how likely you are to catch measles as an adult? I was vaccinated as a child, so hoping it's just a coincidence and not the start of it for me because i'll be really poorly as i always have fits when i get a high temperature. I had a kidney infection when DD was little and was having fits and hallucinating that she was eating me and i hid her under my bed because i just didn't know what i was doing it.

His friend rang me to tell me he'd gone to his mums. Fucking clever of him. His SIL is pregnant :S Lets just risk exposing her to the rubella virus. He told his mum he doesn't know if DS has measles or not (He does and i have told her this) but they don't seem bothered.

DS was sick earlier and nearly choked on it :( But he perked up a bit after so he must have needed to be sick sort of thing.

I've text him telling him he is to make arrangements for the dog. I can't look after him and it's not fair on DS or the dog because i'm having to try and stop the dog bouncing off the walls and its taking my attention away from DS.

They haven't even asked how DS is.

I don't think i even want to know him tbh. I'm shocked that he could be so selfish and stupid.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheQueenOfDiamonds · 26/08/2012 22:38

He said i dictate his life too lol.. yeah.. im so controlling that he goes out 2/3 times a week and never hears a complaint from me, I'm so controlling that he's spent the weekend at a fucking festival while ive been sat here looking after DS.

I'm going to bed soon, Im so tired. He said he isn't speaking to me today and he will ring tomorrow. TBH the only thing i want to hear from him is 'I'll come and fetch the dog'. I want nothing else from him. I've been a single parent before. I can do it again.

OP posts:
Inertia · 26/08/2012 22:46

Sounds like you're having a horrific time, not surprised you're pissed off. Am stunned at the hard face of a man who responds to the discovery of his cheating buy demanding his partner provide him with extra money that he couldn't be arsed to sort out! At any rate, he'll never be any use to you.

Sounds like the priorities are to care for DS, and to find some kind of emergency care for the dog, as your STBX appears to have abandoned it. Is there any kind of emergency homing service close to you? Not sure how this works.

CoolaSchmoola · 26/08/2012 22:48

Keep strong lovely, and get some sleep. Hope DS is better tomorrow, hope this vile man gets chuffing measles (and the pox and all manner of other nasty complaints). May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his man-dangles.

He isn't speaking to you today but will speak to you tomorrow?? Controlling much? I think I'd leave my phone off tomorrow and let the prick have a taste of his own medicine.

As for being a single parent? Sounds like you've already kind of been one for a while even with OH - only now it'll probably be a lot less stressful without him!

Original poster
TheQueenOfDiamonds · 26/08/2012 22:57

Coola - I'm just going to let it ring out. He will panic then and think something bad has happened. (I never ignore my phone unless i'm riding, which he knows i won't be doing because of DS, or in the hospital). He can sit at mummys and sweat. If he gives so little of a shit that he can act like that and then proceed to leave and go out on the piss while i'm at home with his sick son, Then he's not top of my priorities either.

I'd say i hope he gets it, But he's at his mums and his niece will be there tomorrow, So i'd feel like i were wishing it on her and his SIL [who's pregnant sooo really dangerous] too so i can't say that lol. Fleas sound good though, and alcohol poisoning. He was leathered on the phone when he told me he's not coming back and that was how many hours ago?

I feel like i've been on my own for a while. When he left friday i had the weird feeling he wouldn't come back. I think i'm so calm because i've been slowly realising he is not the person i want to spend my life with anymore. He was. But he's changed and become so vile. Not just towards me, The way he speaks about women in general.

He asked me what i was talking about on here a few nights ago and it was about rape and he proceeded to go into this rant about how we should all go burn our bras, 'lesbians with power' and allsorts..

OP posts: