to think this woman is mad if she thinks she has this right?

[tittytittyhanghang]

daily mail alert btw for those who don't like it

I mean if her husband was a decent chap he'd be discussing these things with her beforehand, but ultimately it is his sole decision.

That's taking what I said squoosh and turning it on it's head. As martial affairs are (of course) not illegal, neither should this secretive donation. If a woman have to sign joint agreements to donate her eggs and to become a serrogate and a man has to if he wants a vasectomy on the NHS, why shouldn't the man also do so when he donates his sperm?

Being told to do something with your body is not the same as informing your spouse of something which has joint interest. Particularly if 'doing something' involves something as innocuous as having a wank.

But if you need consent from the partner, they have the option to stop you doing what you wish to do.

Unless, of course, you want to split the family up over it.

I am not saying that you shouldn't have discussed it with a partner but you certainly shouldn't need their permission.

Yes, well, fuck that. My DH is no more my property than I am his.

Bloody hell some people are stupid.

Her marital problems should not be allowed to change laws.

It's ridiculous anyway. If she is going down this path of dragging his behaviour through courts it will probably end in divorce anyway and then what does it matter if his children knock on the door 18 years later.
What is all that bollocks about him suffering post traumatic stress after the birth of their children!

Do you need your partners blessing/approval/agreement if you are a woman wanting to donate eggs, or can you donate without their knowledge. IMO, what it boils down to is that whatever is used wrt egg donation should be the same but reversed for sperm donation.

I think changing the law is a strange idea and could not be policed anyway.

I do think she may have a point if, as she says, her husband was sufferring PTSD and therefore may have made descisions he would not have made if he was well.

Changing the law so that as well as counselling the clinic takes steps to establish a donor's mental status and whether they would make the same descision in 6 months time.

She is so silly, no hope in hell would this happen. The same could be applied to egg donation then, or a woman having n abortion, it works both ways

She should be looking at her marriage and why her husband could not talk to her about it

It's his gametes, his business.

I would be livid if DH donated other than through a proper agency. This is because if his identity became known he could be liable to pay maintenance and we cannot afford this. It is only by using a registered agency that you shed that requirement.

The problem here seems to be that the DH has put the family finances at risk in a hugely sensitive way without telling her a thing about it.

Legislation will not make this DH into someone trustworthy.

I'm and at some of the comments about those conceived with donated gametes/adoptees, in the UK nobody has to go through with a pregnancy they don't want and they certainly don't have to donate gametes, so I'd suggest anybody who objects to those silly children born as a result of either scenario being so selfish as to want to know who they are and perhaps meet a genetic parent, therefore "ruining" said parents life (!) doesn't even consider donating so much as a speck of dust.

That's a very long and clunky sentence, sorry about that.

I think she should be less worried about the law and more worried about the fact that her husband kept this a secret from her...

Dh recently had a vasectomy on the NHS and he didn't need my permission to do it. The GP & Hospital asked if I knew but it was absolutely his decision. He could have had it done without my prior knowledge if he'd wanted to.

Tbh I think she has a point. Siblings/half siblings who haven't grown up together are very often attracted to each other if they happen to meet later in life and if this guy has fathered several children locally, there is a good chance the siblings will come into contact.

There was a case in which half siblings who did not know of each other's existence met at university and became engaged, the facts did not become apparent until their parents met. Horrible situation.

I can certainly see why she is upset by this and I would feel the same way, whether it should be enshrined in law or not is another matter. My own DP wanted a vasectomy and I was against the idea. In fact I went so far as to say that IF he went ahead with it, knowing my feelings and objections then he could leave, not because of the vasectomy but because I felt very strongly that it was a total disregard for what I wanted. After I had another baby he did go ahead, still against my wishes, but I felt that I had to back down as contraceptive hadn't worked but if I'm honest, it has definitely changed our relationship. I do wonder whether this man had actually thought through the implications or whether it was a spur of the moment thing.