to think that it's ungrateful of someone to Ebay a gift you bought them?

[spothemistake]

I went to visit my friend today and we got on topic of how skint I am at the moment and she started raving about Ebay and how she had recently been quite successful with it to make some extra cash. So I asked her what kind of things she sells to get some inspiration, and she replied with, 'Allsorts. If I think someone might want it, I sell it. I've even sold DC's christening gifts'. I think she sensed my surprise at the last bit and so she said, 'Oh, I only sold all the keepsake type gifts. I wish people would be sensible and give us useful things or cash like you did'.

Que an awkward looking me who then had to confess that I had actually bought her a keepsake. She asked me to remind her what I'd bought and she said that she had kept that as it was so lovely, etc etc. but I felt she was lying.

Her DC was christened only a short while ago so she hasn't wasted any time in flogging the gifts. Additionally, I am on my arse financially right now (which she is well aware of), I took the time and effort and spent money I don't have to pick her DC a gift I thought they would like, only for it to end up on Ebay. It feels like a slap in the face.

She is quite money orientated anyway but these were gifts for her DC, not her, so does she have the right to sell them? I know that when our DCs were christened years ago, we got many keepsake type gifts. I have kept them all for my DCs. Incidently, she bought my DCs keepsake gifts too. I'm quite tempted to look on Ebay to see if she has listed my gift but not sure if that crosses a line into Ebay stalking?

So AIBU to expect that people should not Ebay gifts or should I accept that I bought a crap gift and it is the done thing to sell this type of thing on?

A gift is a gift and is the recipients to do with as they wish. If the person wanted it they would keep it/use it. If it is a useless gift then I see no problem with it being sold on. Better realise some cash from it rather than have it sitting in a cupboard for ever more.

There are only so many fake silver money boxes or photo frames or first tooth holders that any one needs. Most christening stuff is tacky and no person with taste would put any of it on display

I've ebayed many a gift, and I've done so for dd who was gifted stuff she didn't want. YABU, some people just aren't sentimental about stuff

I was going to say YABU until I saw that it was her children's christening gifts she'd ebayed. That is wrong.they weren't her presents to sell. I know that she's probably used the money on things for her DCs but it still seems wrong.

Have to admit to having done it myself, but would be mortified if the givers found out! Of course it is upsetting to have a gift you put thought into sold. YANBU.

YABU, I'm fed up with useless keepsakes that friends and family buy.

Thanks for the replies all.

Seems most people think IABU so I will just have to get over it. I think I was most put out as the gift was for her DC, and not for her.

I must say that I usually go to great lengths to choose good gifts for people based on what I know they like and will have some use versus trinket type gifts. However, I KNOW this friend is into keepsakes and since she had bought that type of gift for my DCs, I thought she would like and appreciate it.

I can see why people do this but it's not something would ever do. My DCs have a whole pile of keepsakes to remind them of their christening day whhen they are older.

So wat to get for her DCs 1st birthday? I think some sort of personalised keepsake so she cn't flog it .

YANBU - they weren't gifts to her so no matter whether she liked them or not she shouldn't have sold them. I bet she doesn't spend the money on the child. I think she should have kept the gifts for the child and if they chose to sell them later in life then that's up to them. I wouldn't be buying anything for her or her child again and certainly wouldn't be giving her money.

I can see why you are upset but I've recently done the same thing with one particular toy that BIL and SIL bought DD for her christmas last year, one of those musical walking mats but the noises it made were bloody awful and annoying. DD wasn't that keen on it and I spotted a similar walking mat with an In The Night Garden theme that DD loves in a charity shop so sold the original one. Hopefully the inlaws will never find out, they live a distance away and never come and see us, we always have to go to them.

I'd be fairly if a gift I'd chosen for someone's christening was ebayed by the mother. Agree that once you've handed over a gift it's no longer yours, but gifts to a child that the mother then sells? That's awful.

I think with christening keepsakes, it can be quite difficult to keep them all. What if she had 15 first tooth/curl boxes? 8 birth certificate holders? 11 bibles? Would you really keep that many items for your DC to throw to the back of a cupboard when they move into their own house or realise some cash from some of them and use it to buy their next stage car seat/a new highchair/much needed new clothes etc?

Imo it was a rude and ungrateful thing to do.

I know sometimes you get duplicates or things you're not keen on, but at least have the grace to wait a while before flogging it on.

It's all very well saying that what happens to a gift is none of your business, but I think most people would be hurt if they'd spent time, trouble and money on a gift for the recipient to be so spectacularly ungrateful.

I hate keepsake gifts and wouldn't give them unless specifically knew the personw really liked that sort of thing. I would much prefer to give someone something they needed.

YABU.

Yabu - what are folks supposed to do with tat they don't want? Hang on to it forever and ever and ever and ever?
Nah.

If gifts aren't ebayed, they are given away/donated to charity/thrown out...no-one hangs on to every item they've ever been gifted.

I really hate keepsake gifts so would probably consider doing this and using the money to buy something the DC needed (if skint) or put it into their savings account.

In this situation, two mistakes were made:

1. You spent money you didn't have on a gift.
2. Your friend told you about eBaying gifts. So much potential to cause offence, even if you had given cash or a 'useful' present.

So YANBU to be offended but YABU to think she shouldn't have done it.

It's sad to get rid of christening gifts. Imagine the child finding out when they are older..it's not like selling on unwanted Christmas stuff,it's to mark an important occasion in a baby's life.

I would certainly be cheesed off if they sold the gift within a few months of receiving it. However, if it were a year or so away from receiving the gift, then it wouldn't be so bad, especially if they had outgrown it etc. I think selling Chrstening gifts so soon after the event is tactless and rude - maybe they should have had a family present only policy if they didn't want lots of gifts. Also, was the money being given to the child or kept by the mother?

Yanbu and yabu I think.

I've ebayed many a gift (well part of a gift - i love smellies but am particular about body lotions) given to me but I'd always leave it some time. I'd be upset if I found someone had done it really quickly. I'd live with it if they were brassic and selling the present helped them or if it were part of a present and the other bits were kept/used.

Dd was never christened, but a few of my mates babies have been and I've seen the sheer amount of money boxes you get, without the other keepsake style gifts. But give it some time for crying out loud. Or re-gift it at least.

Good point invicta - I'd be less upset if it was going into baby's account than mum's pocket.

Yanbu! Those things were given for her DC. Not for her to make money on. "Cash" should have been put away for her DC in the future.

Sounds like an ill-bred woman.

yanbu.

if you had given the gift as a gift for the mum then its hers to do what she pleases with but as the gift was given as a gift for the child then thats not on.

How could she know that a very small child might not want to at least see their christening presents later on in life? My two would have been very upset if I'd sold their presents--their presents, not mine.

Ill-bred woman, for sure.

I would never eBay a christening gift. How bloody shallow. Dd was given a few things that weren't my taste but she likes to look at them even now and I imagine she will in the future.
When dd was born we asked for books of people wanted to buy a gift. It worked brilliantly and minimised the not to our taste presents but there were a few and thru are still around.

YANBU. imho it is wrong to sell on any gift.

I'd be gutted if someone ebayed a gift id given. My mil has just bought a coat for dd that is not to my personal taste and, even though she has sent the receipt, I wouldn't dream of exchanging it. MIL spent ages choosing, bought a matching one for my niece and has saved me £20. It will keep dd warm and the pleasure MIL will get from seeing her in it out weighs the fact that I personally wouldn't have chosen pink.