to not pay.

[Justme23]

AIBU to refuse to pay for my SILs rear car seat to be cleaned after I spilled a KFC crushem all over it even though she had expressly said NO FOOD AND DRINK IN HER CAR!

As you can tell this is a reverse AIBU.

On my day off last week I had offered to take DPs niece to a bridesmaid dress fitting ( she stays with us Friday till Monday anyway and is treated like one of ours).

Last minute the night before SIL rings up pleading me to pick her up because she wants to go with her daughter to the fitting. I said fine but she can pay deisel for the hour and a half driving to hers and back out of my way because she will not get a train.

On the way she badgers me to stop at a macdonalds and i say no, thst i dont allow eating and drinking in my car. Aside from its value alone and the fact it is only 2 years old, I am a neat freak and I use it for work and sometimes have important people in my car.

In the end we get there and at the point of paying the deposit on the dress SIL has magically disappeared (oh surprise). I pay it, I don't mind, it's not astronomical.

When we get back to the car we find SIL stuffing her face with KFC and I notice her drink is horizontal and the back of my car is covered in black and cream sludge.

She starts apologising to which I answer " look it's fine, I'll put it into the cleaners and I'll invoice you the cost tommorow".

Well I gave the bill (£60) in a sealed envelope to her dd to give on Monday and mil just rang to say SIL has been getting on at her all week.
I said I would sort it out with SIL tommorow.

Am I really being that unreasonable?

She sounds like a teenager. Who "disappears" in the course of a nice family task (fun for your DN presumably) to stuff themselves with minging takeaway?

YANBU, you cannot get milk out of seats with soapy water. It will stink horribly if not properly cleaned.

You won't see that £60 again.

Let us know what happens Justme. YANBU by the way. She chose to eat in an expensive car, agree no way would I use a bowl of soapy water on a £40k car.

Weird that she hadn't even picked up the cup or made any attempt to clean it up.

By the way, doesn't she owe you for the diesel as well?

YANBU, but I would be very surprised if she did pay.

Especially as she did a dart when it came to paying the deposit for her daughter's dress!

I want to know which important people you have inside your car.

"Her siblings are 9 and 7 but we don't allow them over and especially not around our children."

That sounds horrible. Why don't you like them?

Yanbu to expect her to pay to get the car as clean as it was when she sat in it.

I doubt you will get the money though,she probably sees you as 'minted' and overly precious about your car,I think you can expect a struggle to get it from her.

As a matter of curiousity,what do you speak so badly of her other children?

Why,not what

DN stays with us as she doesn't get along with SILs husband. He father isn't in the picture. It's a safe place for her with her own room instead of having to share with two boys, and we take her on family expeditions and just generally make sure she is provided for.

Her brothers are "affectionately" described as the ASBO twins. Last time we had them over the 9 yo held one of our dogs down and the 7 yo repeatedly kicked it in the stomach. They are both extremely badly behaved and even I cannot trust them around our house, our family including pets or out on a trip.

Saintlyjimjams, not the prime minister or anything, just VIPs within work.

We use DPs car for everything else :).

DH spilt a bottle of milk in the carpeted boot of his car once. He dabbed at it with a bit of kitchen roll, then sprinkled cheap aftershave over it to mask the smell! As you do!
A few days later, at around 2 months pregnant with ds, I got in it to drive somewhere. At the end of the road I had to pull over to vomit in the gutter.

I repeat, YANBU!!

Justme, I think that your niece is lucky to have you, and lucky to have grown up as a pleasant young woman despite a mother who sounds ghastly. Is SIL your DH's sister? What does he think about her parenting and general freeloading?

yanbu.

pictish in the area i live a valet inc a deep seat clean costs about £120 the fee for a taxi spillage is more than £60.

one of my kids spilled a milkshake in the car and didnt tell me many months later i went to use it and yuck it was covered in mold not just on top of the fabric but inside the seats staining the fabric up the sides of the car and everything it was gross.

sadly tho i dont think your going to get the money

You'll never get the £60 off her. But look on the bright side - she'll give you a wide berth in future in case you ask for the money. Yay!

at the behaviour of the brothers - no, I wouldn't want them within a hundred miles of me.

Yadnbu, what a horrible family for your poor dn to have to live in.

You could take her to small claims for the deposit and the valet.

It sounds as though your family is a real lifeline for that little girl.

You could have hired a Rug Dr for £25 from Morissons for 48hours. I think sixty quid is steep but your car your rules.

Yanbu.

YANBU she made a mess that needed professional cleaning she should pay for it.

The OP uses her car in a professional capacity it matters what it looks and smells like unlike my skip of a car that is probably not even worth £60

So - in total, her coming with you, which she begged to do has cost you x amount in extra diesel, the deposit for your DN's dress AND £60 for the professional clean of your car that should never have been necessary - I'd say she's royally extracting the piss, as it happens.

I'm glad you have your DN over, you do sound rather lovely actually. She sounds like a selfish idiot.

Sorry - just realised as I pressed post that the "she" I mean in the last sentence was your SIL, not your DN! Just in case it read wrong.

Well thank you for all the Posts.

SIL is the eldest on DPs two sisters ( believe it or not the rest of his family are lovely) and they both act like children. Both immune to consequence.

Dn is an amazing young girl who will go far if she has the opportunity.

SIL has pretty much avoided me over the bank hols, both of DPs parents and DN have offered to reimburse me but that's not the point. £60 is small change, it's the fact that she behaves this way.

I have texted her every morning asking about the money ie today's which read; good morning, (dn) got to school fine this morning, hope you had a good bank holiday. Ps I'm out today so you can just drop the money through the letterbox. Thanks x

I know it's childish :)

YANBU. She was extremely childish to sneak off to get a takeaway to eat in your car in the first place.

Is 60 small change to her too?

hold your ground op.