Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not pay.

93 replies

Justme23 · 25/08/2012 14:53

AIBU to refuse to pay for my SILs rear car seat to be cleaned after I spilled a KFC crushem all over it even though she had expressly said NO FOOD AND DRINK IN HER CAR!

As you can tell this is a reverse AIBU.

On my day off last week I had offered to take DPs niece to a bridesmaid dress fitting ( she stays with us Friday till Monday anyway and is treated like one of ours).

Last minute the night before SIL rings up pleading me to pick her up because she wants to go with her daughter to the fitting. I said fine but she can pay deisel for the hour and a half driving to hers and back out of my way because she will not get a train.

On the way she badgers me to stop at a macdonalds and i say no, thst i dont allow eating and drinking in my car. Aside from its value alone and the fact it is only 2 years old, I am a neat freak and I use it for work and sometimes have important people in my car.

In the end we get there and at the point of paying the deposit on the dress SIL has magically disappeared (oh surprise). I pay it, I don't mind, it's not astronomical.

When we get back to the car we find SIL stuffing her face with KFC and I notice her drink is horizontal and the back of my car is covered in black and cream sludge.

She starts apologising to which I answer " look it's fine, I'll put it into the cleaners and I'll invoice you the cost tommorow".

Well I gave the bill (£60) in a sealed envelope to her dd to give on Monday and mil just rang to say SIL has been getting on at her all week.
I said I would sort it out with SIL tommorow.

Am I really being that unreasonable?

OP posts:
HappySunflower · 25/08/2012 15:17

Cleaning it off the surface is easy peasy pictish- it's getting the milk protein out of the fibres of the fabric that warrants professional cleaning in my experience.

pictish · 25/08/2012 15:19

Bollocks. It didn't need a professional clean at all. My kids spill stuff in the car, including milky things, and I clean it easy peasy with no smell.
Stop being silly.

TandB · 25/08/2012 15:19

Sounds like she did it on purpose if her drink was lying horizontally on the seat and she had made no attempt to clean it up.

SchrodingersMew · 25/08/2012 15:25

YANBU about wanting it cleaned or for her to pay but £60 is a lot of money. Did it really cost this much for 1 seat?

You did tell her no food and drink though and for that she was being really unreasonable.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 25/08/2012 15:27

Whether it needs a professional clean or not is irrelevant. I think its definitely worthy of a professional clean if the seats are fabric, but that's not really the point. The point is that she did something that damaged someone else's property after being asked not to risk it. She chose to take the risk with someone else's property, so she deserves to pay what the owner reasonably needs to rectify the problem that she created.

NettOlympicSuperstar · 25/08/2012 15:31

YANBU, I'd be livid and I'd make her pay.
I allow bottled water in my car as the only thing to be consumed, because I like it clean too.

pictish · 25/08/2012 15:31

Yes, what the owner reasonably needs.
£60 is not reasonable. There was no need.

naturalbaby · 25/08/2012 15:32

YANBU but you could have given her the option to clean her own mess herself before you slapped her with a £60 bill. How and when do you think you'll get £60 off her for a spilt drink??

clipclopflipflop · 25/08/2012 15:33

YANBU. You made it clear you did not allow food and drinks in your car. And if you need it for work and sometimes have important people in it YANBU to have it cleaned professionally.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 25/08/2012 15:33

YANBU. Your SIL sounds like a right PITA.

Why do you have DN every weekend? Why did you pay for the dress deposit? And what on earth does it have to do with your MIL?

What age is your SIL? Because she sounds about 14 Hmm

pictish · 25/08/2012 15:35

Does the valet place have big windows OP?

ENormaSnob · 25/08/2012 15:36

Yanbu

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 25/08/2012 15:40

If £60 is too much, then the sil can take that up with the valet people. If they charge £60, then they charge £60. So that's what the sil needs to pay.

Op shouldn't have to spend ages searching for a cheaper place, or have to drive miles out her way to get to a cheaper place.

Original poster
Justme23 · 25/08/2012 15:40

It was on the whole back seat, in the creases, down the sides and the back and on the floor which had travelled into the front passenger side under the seat.

Like I said the car is worth £40 so yes I am bothered with it being tidy. And no way would I let her at my seats with soapy water.

And yes both SILs are quite difficult. I try to help out DPs family as much as I can (without going batty) because the rest of them are lovely.

OP posts:
pictish · 25/08/2012 15:41

No...she could've handed her sil a basin of soapy water and a cloth, and got on with her life.

Original poster
Justme23 · 25/08/2012 15:41

£40 k lol.

If it were £40 I wouldn't mind cheesy seats :£

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 25/08/2012 15:44

She could have, but she didn't want to. And she shouldn't have to, because the mistake wasn't hers.

I very much doubt soapy water would get rid of the smell properly anyway. And if it hadn't, or if the sil had just been a bit crap at cleaning, then the op would just have to suck it up and pay herself, and there is no way that would be fair.

Original poster
Justme23 · 25/08/2012 15:45

DPs niece is 13 and far more mature than her mother. I feel she should at least have access to normal family lives.

Her siblings are 9 and 7 but we don't allow them over and especially not around our children.

OP posts:
TigerStripe · 25/08/2012 15:45

I would think then that your car has leather seats and should therefore wipe clean very easily.

Still, at least next time someone tries to rip you off by charging 60 quid to wipe clean a seat, at least you will be wiser Smile

Original poster
Justme23 · 25/08/2012 15:48

They are half soft leather, half fabric.

The valet I chose was my regular and I trust them with my car. I refuse to have a discount job done just because it's cheaper. It needed a deep clean, especially on the footwell, and a scotch guarding treatment.

OP posts:
clam · 25/08/2012 15:49

YANBU, I'd be furious too, and I'm no Martha Stewart when it comes to cleaning. However, I'd be extremely surprised if she pays up.

Why do you have your niece every weekend, by the way?

northcountrygirl · 25/08/2012 15:50

YANBU. I can easily see how it would be £60 for the seats cleaning. Round here you can get a valet for £40 but that doesn't include the upholstery washing - that's all extra. As is a particularly dirty car.

I wouldn't want it cleaning up with a bowl of soapy water and a cloth either. It would have soaked right down into the foam of the seat - you need one of those upholstery washer things that suck out dirty water to clean deep down. All a cloth would have done is remove the surface layer - it would have smelt rank within a few days when the milk turned sour.

PedanticPanda · 25/08/2012 15:52

Yanbu, SIL sounds bloody rude - and leaving you to pay the deposit too for her daughter! Hmm

Why do you have the dn so much?

Teeb · 25/08/2012 15:53

Yanbu.

Her mistake, her consequence to deal with.

5madthings · 25/08/2012 15:57

£60 seems expensive for valeting but it does sound as tho it made one hell of a mess, who spilt the milkshake? the 14yr old or the adult? both should be able to be careful and not spill it, esp as you had said you dont want food/drink in your car.

but you were alreayd going out of their way to do them a favour so she should have offered to clean it at least, if my child spilt a drink in someone elses car i would offer to clean it myself.