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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To dread new baby coming and having school run to do too :(

84 replies

M0naLisa · 25/08/2012 12:27

I am 26 weeks pregnant with 3rd. DS1 is 6 next month and DS2 is 4. Both are in full time school from September as ds2 starts reception.
I am due baby 1st dec and know that when baby arrives the boys will have to have some time off school as they will more than likely go to my mums 30 miles away. I have family in the town I live but because I'm in not in their league they won't help out school run wise. So only option is for kids to go to either my mums or my dads for a couple of days until we are in a sort of routine.

What else I'm dreading it the school run when the boys come back, hopefully DH will be here to do school run but he's not working at moment and if he gets a job before baby comes he wont be entitled to paternity leave so it will just be me. :(

Im just not looking forward to the getting up feeding baby getting dressed getting boys sorted and then getting to school, if I don't have the/a car I will be having to leave the house at 8.05-8.15.

It's going to be a big jump for me and I'm scared I'm not going to do it all and then the boys will get in trouble for not being at school and/or being late :(

OP posts:

SandStorm · 25/08/2012 12:29

Could your mum come to you for a few days/weeks till you get yourself established?

OneOfMyTurnsComingOn · 25/08/2012 12:30

Oh god, me too.

Mine are 8 and 21 months. So I'll have to bring toddler home too. I live miles from parents too

NCForNow · 25/08/2012 12:31

Are you SURE he wont be entitled? It seems like a big thing to send them off and miss school because you're having a baby.
I had a c section and let DD miss a week of nursery because my DH was working in London...but then I just got on with it.

I used to take baby dd to school in the grow she'd slept in...tucked in her bag in her pram.

Little ones don't get in trouble for being late! The parents do! but they'll understand as you have a new baby.

NCForNow · 25/08/2012 12:31

Good point about your Mum staying with you.

lljkk · 25/08/2012 12:32

You'll manage, honest. And it's not the end of the world if they are late sometimes. Especially in the run up to Xmas.

BenedictsCumberbitch · 25/08/2012 12:33

I thought all men were entitled to 2 weeks paternity regardless of length of service? Have I got that wrong? How much time are you intending for your DS's to miss school for? Are you having an ELCS? I don't understand if not why things should be so difficult? Baby doesn't need much Ij the mornings, shove it in a snowsuit in it's babygro it slept in with a clean nappy on and get it dressed etc when you get home.

MrsKeithRichards · 25/08/2012 12:34

You'll be fine!

Ds1 is 6 and ds2 is 16 week's. Ds2 just slots in to whatever we're doing, no choice!

Work on making sure the older ones are as independent as possible, getting themselves dressed etc.

I get up with the baby, I chuck my clothes on as soon as I'm up (lay them out night before) and whilst I'm heating the bottle I lay out ds1s breakfast things then feed the baby. When ds1 gets up he has his breakfast. I get ds2 dressed after feeding and pop him to play in the pram then sort out packed lunch. Ds1 dresses himself. I've got a basket in the sitting room with all his school things. I buy one of everything, iron it all on a Sunday night, chuck in 5 pairs of pants and socks then no thinking needed!

nankypeevy · 25/08/2012 12:34

I've done it - it's Not Easy to start with.

But, if it's any help - my third baby was by far and away the most chilled out of the three. He just seemed to realise that he'd have to wait, and quickly developed an "I CAN'T WAIT" cry. The rest of the time, he was fairly patient.

Don't bother getting the baby dressed. Get him/her fed and changed, let him/her enjoy the chaos (counts as "play time"?) and then will be exhausted by the time you have to leave. So, will have a wee nap en route to school.

Accept you are going to be late sometimes. And, if some jobsworth strict teacher tries to remonstrate over timekeeping just cry. You'll feel like it some mornings anyway, and it'll make the silly teacher feel bad.

You'll find your way.

WorraLiberty · 25/08/2012 12:34

I think everyone worries about that...I know I did.

But in truth, I was up much earlier than the kids due to feeding the baby so the school run was much easier.

Your kids are 4 and 6yrs so old enough to dress themselves and if they take a packed lunch, just make sure it's made the night before.

Is there a reason why they're going to your Mums for a few days?

NCForNow · 25/08/2012 12:34

I am with Benedict....I think you should speak to the CAB so you are fore armed with the correct info.

stoooooopidpigeon · 25/08/2012 12:36

You'll manage, you really will. I dreaded this when our third was born this spring but we had a routine in place amazingly quickly. I shower the night before a I can't stand dirty hair, make sure whatever I'm wearing the next day fits, and then just throw it on in the morning. Baby has a quick feed and straiht into the sling (get a stretchy, it'll make your life so much easier.) I dreaded it but actually knowing I had to be up and out at a certain time helped me enormously, meant I didn't just lay in bed and wallow. From school I would then either go for a wander for an hour or so or head home to bed.
I did all this on my own so you'll manage too. Forget family. Don't be afraid to ask other mums at school if you're desperate. I felt great after the birth actually but when I was massively pregnant dd's friends mum started taking her to school for me a few times a week and I could have kissed her. If you invest in one thing though, make it a lovely coat so if all else fails you can just throw it on.

Original poster

M0naLisa · 25/08/2012 12:37

We only have a 2 bedroomed and no room. Tbh I could ask sister to stay a couple nights on a blow up bed but she has a young son who I DO NOT want around new baby.
My mum does work although it's seasonal she may be off work in dec. she doesn't drive though so would have to get up and take boys to school which would be a challenge for her as she struggled to do it with us when we were younger.

My dad took boys out of school and nursery in march this year for a weeks holiday and we got fined for it. The school will continue to watch ds1 attendance so I know that something will be said. I'm thinking writing a letter to the head teacher about the baby and what plans would be for boys once baby comes. If DH has to work and I don have anyone here to help me with baby I don't fancy walking a mile to school days after giving birth and a mile back. :(
My friend the other day said that if I struggled with school run to call her and she would collect boys for me a d bring them home but I don't like to put on people

OP posts:

MrsKeithRichards · 25/08/2012 12:37

He'll be entitled to take the time of but won't get paid if he's been there less than 15 weeks.

Ds missed two days just because I ended up in a hospital further away for 2 days so it was easier for ds to come with dh to see me rather than dh only having a couple of hours with me after pick up times and travelling time.

Ithinkitsjustme · 25/08/2012 12:38

Don't worry about it for now, just look forward to having that new baby to hold. You'll be surprised how it all fits into place fairly quickly, honestly! So what if you don't have time to dress the baby in his day clothes before you go? Babies can certainly be helped by their own routine but you can make their routine fit in with your life, so I used to give my little ones a bottle of milk before doing the school run but gave them their "proper" breakfast when we got home. Is their anyone who can help out for a couple of days to take your older DC, maybe one of his friens mums? I know I would have always been more than willing to do so.
Tip- make sure you get as organised as you can the night before, so pack most of the lunches (maybe not make the sandwiches but that's up to you), get all their clothes out and ready, have the raincovers ready on the buggy or whatever you feel will make your morning rush a bit easier to manage. (and get up a little erlier than you do now)
I had 3 DC's under 2 and a half with an older child to do the school run, and I awlays managed it, not always easily, but there are ways and means and it really can be done, just don't beat yourself up if you're late a few times.

MrsKeithRichards · 25/08/2012 12:40

People don't offer if they don't want to.

RaisinDEtre · 25/08/2012 12:41

I know you are worried about the logistics but new baby is not a reason for the older children to miss school, and will be viewed v dimly by school

It's daunting but do-able, lots of families have to be up and out at 8 am. Lay out uniform at bedtime, pre make lunchboxes and fridge over night, DH can do this.

As an alternative ask around at the school gate to see if another parent could help you with the school run, it'll only be for 2.5 weeks max, what with Xmas break.

Original poster

M0naLisa · 25/08/2012 12:41

I my be better within days of giving birth this time. After birth of the boys I was in so much pain not just down there cos I the stitches and Grazes but boobs looked like Jordan's I couldn't hold baby and I could hardly move my arms.
When ds2 was born ds1 went to dads and then mums for a week they split having him for a week. (parents divorced).

OP posts:

RaisinDEtre · 25/08/2012 12:42

oh x post

so of course you say yes please to friend, no-brainer

SandStorm · 25/08/2012 12:42

If your friend has offered, say yes! One day she may need a favour and you can pay her back then. With two children and a newborn, take all the help you're offered.

Original poster

M0naLisa · 25/08/2012 12:45

I asked her if she was sure and she said yeah. But I the putting on people. Il speak to get about it next time I see her.

If DH hasn't got a job or job starts at 9 and is in the area then he can drop kids off for me and I can do pick up. I just like to think of things in advance iykwim?

OP posts:

MrsKeithRichards · 25/08/2012 12:45

I took the wee boy over the road down to school for a couple of weeks after she had a baby. I barely know her but wouldn't see her struggle!

She done the same for me a year Kate's

stoooooopidpigeon · 25/08/2012 12:46

People are generally more put out if you need their help but don't ask for it ime. Don't be a martyr

MrsKeithRichards · 25/08/2012 12:47

I know what you mean I'm a bit like that but what goes around comes around she might need your help one day and I bet you wouldn't hesitate to help.

Pinkforever · 25/08/2012 12:47

Sorry but I am going to be harsh-you are way over thinking this!! millions of women every day manage to get themselves up and dcs reaady for school.

I had a cs with 3rd dc and dh went back to work after a week so I had no choice but to do school run.

You just have to be organised-make sure you are up at least half an hour before kids. Have uniforms,lunches etc ready the night before.

Im afraid if I were the school I would take rather a dim view of you asking for more time off for kids simply because you have had a baby....

MrsKeithRichards · 25/08/2012 12:48

*a year later not Kate's!!

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