WIBU to not use this carseat

[namechange88]

I know the carseat thing has been done loads, but I have a dilemma.

I'm a childminder. One of my mindees is 5 months, and I guess is a little big for his age, but nothing out of the ordinary. Yesterday when his mum dropped him off she had a stage 2 forward facing carseat with her. She was very proud of it and told me how it was in the sale so they decided to get it a little early "as he's about the size of a 9 month old anyway" - He isn't, but IMO thats not the point.

I also had a 3 year old with me yesterday and had planned a trip to a farm, about 45 minutes drive. I couldn't bring myself to use the seat, so used a spare infant seat that I had. Usually I think, your child, your choice, but this was in my car, while he was in my care. I'm not sure what to do next time. I only have him once a week.

My DD is very tall. Well over the 100th centile. But she only tracks around the 50th for weight. Longshanks lol!

I had massive dilemmas over the whole car seat issue. She got to nine months and she was just under 9 kilos. I read bucket loads of information, spoke to manufacturers and was told as a general recommendation it is 9mths and 9kgs, but that children are individuals so there has to be a tiny amount of discretion in it.

I'd ordered her FF car seat but didn't plan to use it until she was 9&9. But before that happened I didn't use my car for a week, and when I did use it next I put her in the top of her head was over the top of the carseat. Clearly an issue.

I spoke to both Maxi-Cosi (new seat) and Silver Cross (infant seat) and BOTH said having the top of her head over the top of the seat was more dangerous than putting her in the FF seat before she was 9kg. Granted she was nearly there at 8.75kg. Maxi Cosi advised me to keep the Tobi reclined as far as it would go til she hit 9kg. Which she did, a week later (phew!)

The point is there are situations where it is more dangerous to use an infant seat than a ff seat even if the child hasn't quite achieved 9&9.

I find this sooooo confusing! Like pp rf is just not something we could afford right now. Dd is 6 mo and ideally want to keep her rf as long as possible but as she is 91st centile height and weight and I have group 0 car seat I'm concerned I may have to move her before 9 months. Too early to ff = bad, to heavy to rf = bad! What is best. Mothercare IMO no good, spoke to them when looking at new seat for ds (2.6) and assured isofix not much different in terms of safety whilst I could actually hear another assistant not 2 foot away advising a couple isofix was essential and she would never use anything else! Doesn't blardy make me inclined to seek help from salespeople!

OP: you sound like a lovely, very professional childminder. YANBU. Would you like to mind my DD? :)

LST: there is no way I would have done what you did. It sounds like you recieved some bad advice from Mothercare too.

At risk of repeating previous posts it is definitely worth checking out rearfacing.co.uk. Extended rear facing is so much safer.

A 99% centile baby will be under 12kg at 9 months so still under the 13kg weight limit for an infant seat.

TBF it's easy to be harsh, but there's lot of bad bad advice out there. Given by people who really should know better.

At his 7 months check I was advised by the HV that DS was 9kg so time for him to go in a normal FF seat now.

I had a paranoia about car seats from day one so googled every tiny detail but if I hadn't made a special effort I'm not sure I would have argued with her.

You know the group 1 car seats can they be rear facing too? I ask as my dts are 9kg now (at 6 1/2 months ha ha!) but though the group 0 carriers say 9kg limit I dont want them to ff until at least 1 iyswim. So if I buy a group 1 car seat can it be rear facing? (sorry I repeat...)

kneed I don't agree at all that isofix is essential I don't have it unfortunately and I know many that don't it makes it easier to fit car seat but it should always be fitted correctly anyway. Isofix is quite a new thing isn't it?

OP as a childminder you should only use seats that have been correctly fitted to your car. It is your responsibility to ensure that any child travelling in your vehicle is in the correct car seat. No matter what the parent says.

This should be done when you are doing the contracts. If a parent wants you to use a seat that is not suitable for the child then you simply say no. It's that simple.

mines a pint the seat a have now is rear facing from birth to 25kg.

There's quite a few ERF ones that would be suitable.

From what I've read there's also quite a few stage 1 seats that do rear facing til 12-18 months then FF until 3/4 ish so may be an option if you decide against ERF.

(*the seat I have)

minesapint - double check the weight limit on your group 0 seats, most of them are 13kg not 9kg.
Lots of seats are group 0+1 and can be rear facing 0-13kg and forward facing 9-18kg. They are usually listed on websites as birth-4 years.

mydog I thought this was possible and apart from being able to snap car seat onto pram wish I'd bought the birth to 25kg car seats and saved more expense! It's that rear facing till 12/18 months then ff I would like as at the moment I carry 2 car seats to the car but will have to look at carrying 2 babies and would think it would be easier to get them out of ff then ( but definately will be rf as long as poss). Don't shoot me but I'm at this horrible stage now as at home i tandem feed milk in car seats in their room before naps (highchairs for food) and we've sold the bouncers as they were sitting up. So if the infant carriers go not quite sure how I'm going to tandem feed unless I prop them up on pillows as they topple after a few minute. C'mon on boys hold your own bottles now! 9thanks for answering the car seat quetsion I'm slinking off to the multiples thread to moan...).

Oh and I wish mydogshitmoney .

rub Its definately 9kg. If only I had hindsight when preggars! (I didn't have my sanity much so maybe too much an ask!)

There quite a few that will do what you want them to do so you should't have much trouble finding one that you like. Nothing wrong with just keeping the carriers to use inside if that makes feeding easier. Christ, with 2 do whatever gets you through the day!

(It was only a fiver by the way. I was skint at the time though so sellotaped it back together and used to to pay for a taxi )

minesapint even once ours went into the next stage carseat we kept the infant seat at just to use in the house as somewher safe for baby to sit. ds4 loved his infant carseat and even once crawling and ealking would climb into himself to sit and snuggle his blanket. he used it until he was three years old. only in the house obviously, it was his tv chair! so you could have next stage carseats in the car once they are big enough and still use the infant seats in the house if you need to.

obviously once they are too big they arent safe in a car but fine for them to sit inat home. ds4 was huge at age three, head over the top and legs stretched out infront but he loved the infant carseat for relaxing in. he was like an old man with his favourite seat!

minesapintofwine:

You can get group 1 (9kg - 25kg) rear facing seats. See here for example: incarsafetycentre.co.uk/catalog/index.php/cPath/30

However, they are more expensive than forward facing, and typically harder to fit.

The In Car Safety Centre (based in Milton Keynes) in that link is very helpful though. If you're anywhere close, I'd suggest making an appointment and going to take a look. If you're not close, they can still give you advice by phone.

My parents have a Graco Junior Mini seat for ds - he is still rear facing it in at 2 years old and then he can go forward facing 13kg-18kg. Think it cost about £75.