WIBU to not use this carseat

[namechange88]

I know the carseat thing has been done loads, but I have a dilemma.

I'm a childminder. One of my mindees is 5 months, and I guess is a little big for his age, but nothing out of the ordinary. Yesterday when his mum dropped him off she had a stage 2 forward facing carseat with her. She was very proud of it and told me how it was in the sale so they decided to get it a little early "as he's about the size of a 9 month old anyway" - He isn't, but IMO thats not the point.

I also had a 3 year old with me yesterday and had planned a trip to a farm, about 45 minutes drive. I couldn't bring myself to use the seat, so used a spare infant seat that I had. Usually I think, your child, your choice, but this was in my car, while he was in my care. I'm not sure what to do next time. I only have him once a week.

She was wrong if she told you 9kg was the maximum weight for an infant seat - most of them go up to 13kg. My ds is not even 12kg at 2 years old, he fitted into his infant seat until 18 months as it is much safer for a baby.

LST - you should complain to Mothercare about the assistant giving out dangerous and incorrect advice.

Really? What seat is it?

She asked when he was born and I told her. He was 1.5 weeks away from 6 mo.

Why complain. It was not the assistants fault that it said that on the box was it.

LST a lot of people are confused regarding this issue, but it really is 9 months and 9kg. But I see that your DS is now 9 months so you have been lucky.

Babystart

Wow DS is 18 month and still in a rf carseat. People tell me I'm 'babying him' by not getting a ff one. I really don't care, his safety is my first concern. People really need educating on infants and car safety.

welsh a bit harsh. I'm sure no-one dislikes their child.

However, I would say that people who want to get their babies out of infant seats asap are at best ignorant.

And if anyone says "in my day we didn't even bother with seat belts are we were ok" I'll weep with frustration. "in your day" there were fewer cars, cars were slower, and when crashes happened children DIED. Chikdren who nowadays would survive relatively unscathed (if they're in the appropriate seats).

This makes me so angry. And sad. I've done my stint working in a&e. Nothing as horrific as a child dying or being seriously injured because their parents didn't care enough about car seats.

If the assistant told you that they have to go forward facing at 9kg, then she was wrong and giving you unsafe advice. Babies are safer facing backwards for as long as they fit the seat.

One of those 1-2-3 hbb with harnesses. I didn't even think mothercare sold that brand. Regardless, any assistant advising you put a 5 month old in one if those needs retraining. Or shooting. I can't believe any parent could put such a young child in that setup and think "golly, that looks real comfy and supportive, I am pleased with thus purchase".

LST if this is your carseat: www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/3761377.htm#pdpFullProductInformation

Then you will see that in the description it states both age and weight.

Babystart do a group 0-1 seat as well - rearfacing until 13kg (12-15 months), forward facing 9kg-18kg.

Re Babystart car seat. Mothercare does not sell that brand now, and according to the Argos website, where it is reduced to £19.99 it says for babies 9-18kg, approximately 9 months to 4 years. I think it is because it is not a very good car seat that the packaging is ambiguous, and I would complain even now, as the assistant should have known!

LST - just because the shop assistant said your 5mo could go in a FF seat doesn't mean he/she was correct. Mothercare are renowned for giving incorrect advice. You are very lucky you weren't in an accident, your child would probably have died.

I don't think Welsh was being harsh, just realistic.

Many parents seem to live in cloud cuckoo land when it comes to car seats. They are there to save your child's life, not be a measure of how grown up they are. If you move them up too early to show off their size, the seat cannot do its job and you child will not be adequately protected.

A good friend of mine moved her two boys into backed booster seats when they were tiny, because they were such 'big boys'. She was so lucky she didn't have an accident.

YANBU - I wish there were more childminders like you. My step mum is a childminder and uses her own ff seats, when DS was tiny there was an emergency situation where he had to travel in one, every time the car stopped his poor little head got thrown back. I vowed never to put him in that situation again and have purchased a rf seat that he will be in until he's 25kg. It upsets me that more people aren't aware of how much safer rf is for children, especially those in a position of looking after them professionally. Your mindees parents trust you with their baby's safety - I think it's your duty to give them the facts - maybe direct the mum to www.rearfacing.co.uk to do her own reading?

Baby seats are ok to use up to 10kg (group 0) or 13kg (group 0+). Most baby carriers are group 0+ these days. Some people seem to assume they should go up to group 1 forward facing as soon as their child hits 9kg or 9 months, that's just not true.

Oh, and the average weight for a 9 month old is 8.25kg (for girls, from DD2's red book), if a baby follows the 50th centile, she won't hit 9kg until just over a year!

Car seats and shops aren't always clear. To my mind, it should be that a child has to be AT LEAST both 9 months old AND 9kg in weight, not either/or, and not "oh, he's advanced for his age" or any such buillshit.

A baby would have to be well over the 99.6th centile to be more than 13kg at 9 months, so there shouldn't be a need to stick a baby forward facing before 9 months old.

yanbu, I'd go with the insurance line, too.

I'll try mumsnet over mothercare, halfords or toys r us any day! Although mothercare are suppose to be britax trained (according to britax) but our local mothercare doesn't sell britax so I wonder who does their training.

Freak I do have both an infant seat and a next stage seat, which I keep as spares. This parent knows this as she once forgot his seat when he was around 4 months. She just seems in a rush for him to grow up. He was also weaned at 13 weeks but that's a whoooole other thread!

That isn't my car seat. It's all black and can be used from birth to 9kg as a rear facing and then turn it.

My baby has alway been massive. It wasn't anything to do with being grown up. My DP passed his driving licence that day. We went to mothercare and they said that one. I think it was £36.99.

I am not in cloud cuckoo land at all. I just wanted a car seat we didn't need to take in and out of the car.

As the driver you are responsible to make sure all passengers are safe. I would talk to the parents

*trust not try!

LST have a look at rearfacing.co.uk and then you may understand why posters are so concerned about a baby in a forward facing car seat.

I know now. As I have read threads on mn.

I wouldn't have driven the child anywhere tbh. Although I wholeheartedly agree that you should not have used the ff carseat, what if you had had an accident and something had happened to the baby while he was in the carseat you put him in?

The parents may claim that they didn't know the history of the seat you used, whether it had been in any accidents/knocks, that they hadn't given permission for their child to travel in the seat, along with any number of approaches a lawyer could think of.

I know you said it was new, but I just wouldn't risk it unless I'd spoken to the parents and had their express permission.