To wonder if anyone enjoys the newborn phase?

[raininginbaltimore]

It is so relentless. I have hit a bit of a wall. I feel like a fat, sweaty mess. DD is 3 weeks old. I should have remembered this from ds.

I feel trapped in a cycle of feeding, holding washing bottles, sterilising etc. By the time I finish feeding her (it can take over an hour) and start preparing it is time to start again. I can't bloody do anything without ds needing a toilet or dd being feeling. Bottle feeding sucks s. It s a huge faff and I wish I didn't have to.

She cries when put down. I have a sling, but can't use it all time, like to shower or sleep!

I can't predict her feeds, so I am awake now as she wnt sleep and will want feeding again soon I think

I know, I know this too shall pass. But do people really enjoy this stage?

Have you got a sling? Mine changed my life as DS was a limpet baby and would not be put down fir first four months.

I found it hard and spent a lot of time crying, but, in between colicky screams, there were moments that I loved. Im hoping that if I have another baby I will be more relaxed and therefore enjoy it more. I am genuinely happy for those who take to motherhood like a duck to water, everyone deserves to feel blissfully happy with their new addition, but for me it didnt come until she was about 7 months old and the colic finally subsided.

I found the newborn stage easy compared to the 2y+ stage. But i had 2 easy babies and 1 very persistent toddler
I havent had more than 4 hours sleep in 2.5 years, i survive on cat naps in the day. Washing up waits whilst i snuggle up to ds2. Ds2 is now 5.5m and my heart aches that he'll never be that squishy, squeaky newborn again!

Hated it and so so sad I hated, massively unrealistic expectations didn't help. 9 months on still a grubby mess with weight going in the wrong direction. But difference is now I have a smiley cuddly DS rather than the stranger he was when first born.

I love it, I'll swap you for my toddler, bring him back when he's potty trained!

I've had 3 refluxy babies. Basically I have to write off the first year. Everything goes to pot for at least a year. Cbeebies, crap food, no housework, less baths, anything to make life easier. I'm only just coming out of it with DD2 (15mo).

Look on the bright side - if you are someone who loved the baby stage, what do you have to look forward to. For me, I always know that the best is yet to come. It is what keeps me going tbh!

Yes, I did. Far more than a lot of the phases that follow. Trouble is I'm not a routiney person, so the sort of go-with-the-flow you have with a baby suits me far more than the regimented regime you need with a toddler.

I have 4 kids ranging from 11 months to 11 years. The hardest part of all of it was the first 4 weeks for each of them.

Lots of good advice here :) My tip would be to buy some of the pre-made cartons/bottles of milk when you are out that can be opened and popped in a bottle with minimum fuss. They are more expensive than the powdered formula but easy when out x

i did once i was out of hospital and got used to having to not just think about myself

ds was such an easy baby and so content it was lovely through my rose tinted glasses i can forget about the lack of sleep and just remember the lovely cuddly times

i did not bother with routines of anything like that i think that is why i enjoyed it more

he is 5 next month i feel happy and sad that he is growing up so quickly

Thanks. I will insist dh does more. I'm not a routine person at all. I was enjoying it this time until about 4 days ago. I am more relaxed, but I just feel like I have hit a wall and the magic 6 week mark seems so far away.

I think I hadn't realised how much life needed to change, I though life had already changed already with ds. Which it had, but obviously had adapted to toddler rather than baby.

I don't do well with having no idea what is wrong when she cries. I do have a sling, and she spends a lot of time in it. I have to take pram out though as ds needs the buggy board as we walk loads. DD seems to hate the pram.

Ds had reflux and colic. The first months of his life were some of my worst.

I could have written your posts, DD2 is now 12 weeks, she would never be put down, never slept, fed constantly, screamed in between and she was breastfed, kept thinking formulae was the magic answer maybe it wasn't if you are ff and it's the same.

So no newborn when they are non-interactive isn't my favourite stage. It is also very difficult and guilt making when you have a neglected toddler attention seeking.

But I am here at 12 weeks and while it isn't perfect she will sit for a while in her bouncy chair while I eat, she sleeps for 3-4 hour stretch (only with a bottle though) so it gets better and while it might not feel like it while deep in the mire those terrible first weeks are quite short so just get through them!

Would it help to use the ready made formula? You can buy it everywhere and u just poor it into your bottle and away u go. I admit that's all I used for dd2 and it was heaven compared to prepping all the bottles with dd1. It is pricey but maybe u could just use a few a day, when u go out maybe or at night? It gets easier but my God its hard!

I loved the newborn stage with both of mine but BF so that takes a lot of the work out of it ( no making up feeds and faffing with sterilisers etc).
DD was born just after DS started school so having to get up and dressed by 8:30 stopped me from just slobbing about. I was lazy with DD just used to feed her change her bum and pit her snowsuit over her babygrow then get her dressed when we got back from the school run.

She's 2.9 now and an absolute nightmare for screaming and tantrums DS never even had one so the terrible twos have come as a major shock with her. I'd gladly go back to the newborn stage.

I think everyone prefers different stages of child development to be honest.

I adored it, beyond words. I still get emotional when I think about it, but in a good way. I just found it inexpressibly joyous to have this tiny, dear person, so dependent on me.
But....she was and is a very easy baby (15 months now). She slept for a solid 6 hours on her very first night, in hospital, and that was her pattern right through the newborn time.
I think I may have had an unusually easy time though. I had an ELCS, so it was a lovely calm birth, with a very easy recovery, and my baby was born without any trauma. I think getting 6 unbroken hours of sleep every night made it easy to deal with all the feeding etc.
What I did find hard to deal with was the endless pile of laundry! I had had no idea that nappies leak, so I was surprised to find myself sluicing pooey clothes on a daily basis.
I breastfed (until a few weeks ago), but always gave a bottle of formula last thing at night, which maybe helped her to sleep well.

Having said all that, she is my first child, so I imagine I would find it much much harder if I had a newborn and a toddler.

I love it too, the first couple of weeks were gorgeous. I didn't put my babies down, I didn't hand them to anyone unless I wanted to. Me and dd especially just sat together on the sofa, feeding and cuddling for days, it was wonderful. I had CSections with both dc so couldn't do much anyway and quite frankly I preferred it that way.

It only got stressful when I started having to leave the house. I wish I had relaxed and enjoyed it more, I was just so scared of getting it wrong. If I had the chance again I would realise that its NOT actually that hard. Pick up the baby, stick him/her in a sling, grab a nappy and some wipes and go! I did EBF though and thats easier imvho.

I do think that putting pressure on to establish routines too early is what makes it so difficult really. I was like that with my first and second, the first co-operated the second did not! So that was more stressful because she wasn't doing what I expected. I would love the chance to be more relaxed and laid back about it all.

No found the newborn stage really boring. I had "Gina Ford" babies without the need for any training so woke four hourly were fed, changed, cuddled and put back down ready for them to wake up next time. Only ever woke once in the night and slept through from six weeks. I much prefer toddlers and pre schoolers and even teens to newborns tbh.

I loved every single second of it, mine slept all night, fed regularly, never cried, never had exploding nappies, were never sick, wakes up suddenly from dream, like hell! Seriously, with hindsight it's a really special time watching that tiny, red faced baby change into their own little personality that repies on you for everything but at teh time, it's bloody hard work. Don't beat yourself up that you find it hard and take any shortcuts that you can, accept any hep on offer without feeling guilty about it (you can always reciprocate at a later date) and don't make work for yourself - the housework will still need doing when leave home. Good luck, and congratulations on your new baby!

I personally loved the newborn stage for all of mine, even with DD3 who was a screecher, never could be put down, never happy unless I was holding her, disturbed from infrequent sleep by the sound of a pin dropping... None of them were particularly good sleepers and they had their share of colic and crying bouts but I loved seeing their different personalities (which have remained very much the same all through the years) and mopping up all their little leaks. Seeing that first gummy smile and hearing them chuckle for the first time was sheer magic.

I never bothered with routines, topped and tailed instead of bathing them except for DD3 who was really only calm and happy in the water (in the kitchen sink to save my back). We ate a lot of easy to prepare very basic food (rice and pasta dishes instead of peeled potatoes, and oven chips, instant mash) and all survived. I did the minimum of housework if I hadn't slept much the night before but I tried to get out in the air every day for the sake of health and sanity for all. I never bothered with baby or toddler groups -- imo they are a special sort of competitive hell. I liked walking, and having random conversations with little old ladies and men who were out strolling was sometimes the highlight of my day (pathetic perhaps, but I found all the mum groups were very inclined to be either moan fests or boast fests. Occasionally there were toddlers there who were unsupervised little terrors, plus there were all sorts of eyebrows raised no matter whether you were bfeeding or ffing or doing cio or picking your baby up at the first whimper etc)

However, I found the transition from just one DC to two was really, really hard. Neither DD1 nor I knew what had hit us when DS came along. Transitioning from two to three was a lot easier and after that even with screechy DD3 (DC4) we all just floated along. DC5 was an easy baby and I stopped while I was ahead...

Hated it until she hit about 6 months. Never have found tiny babies particularly interesting, cute, wonderful etc. It was just a slog for half a year with a basic feeling of 'I have do this because I am her mother', especially the first few weeks. I fully expect to feel the same way about DD2. I love DD1 more and more each day as she gets more interesting. She's 2.7 now, so some days she's even a little bit too interesting.

I love the baby stage, but really struggle with the year from 12-24mth. I find the constant need for attention and the fact you can't turn your back for a second or they're dancing on the table relentless

OP. Me too. The first 12 weeks were exhausting both times. Its not like its unexpected when you have a newborn but once they settle into a routine life is so much easier (particularly with the second so you have time for DC1).

Second time round I just kept telling myself it would get easier by 12 weeks, luckily it did. I formula fed DD2.

To make things easier:
I made bottles in advance and got her used to drinking them lukewarm.

Probably shouldn't admit this, but I took the night time bottles up stairs with me at night in a insulated bottle bag.
Sterilised things with a tub of water and a milton tablet.
I did all the feeds - DH was working 6 days a week and 12hour days so it wouldn't have been fair to do otherwise.
I did find if I stayed up for the 11/midnight feed and only had to wake once in the night (3am ish) instead of an early night and getting up twice, I felt much better and less like a zombie!
I cooked/ate quick simple meals or stuff out of the freezer.

Put DD2 in the sling or on the floor when she was awake.

And I went for long walks (at the pace of a snail) to wear out 18mth old DD1 so she slept well at night.

Good luck!
(They are so much easier now they are 18mths and 3!)

Oh and no one got bathed unless they really needed it!

I enjoyed it but then ds spent most of his first few months asleep or smiling a cooing. I was very lucky, sorry!