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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

These stupid women are doing feminism no favours at all.

112 replies

solidgoldbrass · 24/08/2012 22:29

Tired of explaining that feminists are not spiteful, humourless, ignorant bullies? Unfortunately we're going to have to do a bit more of it.

No one who advocates book burning can ever expect to be treated with any respect. It's never a good idea. It just shows you up as a historically ignorant, idiotic control freak.

OP posts:
Original poster
solidgoldbrass · 25/08/2012 01:08

LastMango: Actually, calling for a book burning makes me wonder just how much help she might have been to other women. I wonder if they had to obey her or be refused help, for instance.

OP posts:
NapaCab · 25/08/2012 01:22

Book burning is definitely a step too far, IMO, but I can see why the director of an organisation that sees the results of domestic violence day after day would get angry about the whole S&M chic trend that Fifty Shades taps into.

It's frustrating to see a book that makes a violent, abusive relationship seem sexy becoming a bestseller. Yes, Heathcliff and Mr Rochester and so on have their place in literature but they weren't abusive to their lovers (as far as I can remember, haven't read them since a teenager and never liked them anyway). I haven't read 50 Shades as it sounds like utter drivel but I can see the anger that motivates these campaigners.

squoosh · 25/08/2012 01:26

Heathcliff was pretty abusive

AgentZigzag · 25/08/2012 01:35

'It's frustrating to see a book that makes a violent, abusive relationship seem sexy becoming a bestseller.'

But are there some people who get a legitimate kick out of what would be defined by others as a violent, abusive relationship?

Or does that come down to the other person consenting to the relationship, as in if both people are enjoying the situation and both 'in on it' does that make a difference? (although some (not me) might define a woman staying in a genuinely distressing abusive situation as her consenting to the relationship, would that factor in it?)

madwomanintheattic · 25/08/2012 02:34
squoosh · 25/08/2012 02:40

I bet it was the one about Professions. Ladies are nurses or wives, men are bank manager and doctors.

The early books have a teensy bit of gender stereotyping.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/08/2012 02:44

I'll say two things.

I have burnt a book. It was Stranger in a Strange Land. God-awful piece of sexist crap and I needed fire-lighting stuff camping. The boys probably 20 year olds in the next plot were horrified and offered us kindling. Bless. I still burnt the book for wasting my time.

Second thing. Funny story. I went into my brilliant local bookshop and rolled my eyes at the cashier when I saw 50 Shades at the till. He told me that they had to put it there because the people that wanted to buy it hadn't been in a bookshop before and were scared of books so they had to put it near the till so they didn't get scared away. Grin

24HourPARDyPerson · 25/08/2012 02:55

It's not real censorship obviously, it's just a symbolic gesture. Which meshes nicely with the Not Real But Merely Symbolic Women as Masochist trope of the book. A fitting response, seeing as its all just play acting.
Right?

garlicnuts · 25/08/2012 02:57

God, there are some VERY witty posts on this thread!

But, yes, SGB. Hysterical, overreactive, humourless, etc ... Thanks a bunch, Clare Phillipson. When you're aware of a negative stereotype being applied to you, it's usually wise to avoid fulfilling it. Just ignore the fucking book. Or take the piss, it's very easily done with that book unless you're humourless, etc.

madwomanintheattic · 25/08/2012 03:35
Grin

Am going to forward the second one to sil.

NurseBernard · 25/08/2012 04:00

Way to ramp up even more publicity for the book.

I'm almost semi-inclined to bother reading it now...

24HourPARDyPerson · 25/08/2012 04:14

It doesn't matter a damn about creating more publicity for the book. Its already St saturation point. It's like saying it about milk. Luckily its just a passing fad, to be forgotten about in a few months

theodorakis · 25/08/2012 08:56

I wouldn't burn a book but I would hide it from other women if I owned a copy.
Most of the women I have encountered who have read it have not read any other book since leaving school. In the wrong hands it is quite dangerous. A whole generation of mums are going to bring their daughters up on their romantic discovery of the century. Sexual and emotional violence to women. Brilliant.

HecateHarshPants · 25/08/2012 09:02

don't you have to buy the book in order to burn it?

I wouldn't line their pockets, tbh.

TheDogDidIt · 25/08/2012 09:05

They may have read no other books, but does that mean they believe the book that they do read? I just can't imagine that a work of fiction would encourage a woman, however badly-read, to engage in sexual acts that she wasn't interested in, or continue them once started if she wasn't enjoying it.

I have no doubt that it's an awful book, but to BURN it? That carries far too many historical/political connotations. It isn't going to encourage fans of FSOG to think again - they will just see a ranting madwoman burning books. Someone will probably make a clever suggestion that she toss her bra in there while she's at it.

Original poster
solidgoldbrass · 25/08/2012 09:10

The best way to deal with this book's romanticising of abuse - which they are quite right about - is any one of the number of very funny parodies, pisstakes, chapter-by-chapter takedowns of it that are available.

Burning the book or blaming the book for the actions of abusive men is verging on victim-blaming - if silly women read this book and are sexually aroused by it then men will beat them up...

OP posts:
lolaflores · 25/08/2012 09:12

That intellectual bastion of all things artistic, the city of Limerick, burned copies of Frank McCourt's, Angela's Ashes. The residents danced a war dance round the soaring flames, as they were entitled to. Some things in Ireland never change. the truth not being a flavour to be savoured is one of them. It is more the impression it leaves on the wider world of a mind set that is more shocking. Quite sure copies of FS are fair galloping out of Easons into the modest homes of Ireland.

AuntLucyInPeru · 25/08/2012 09:13

I binned mine. I only the second book in nearly 40 years to go in the bin rather than the charity bag. Didn't want to contribute to the hype by passing it on.

lolaflores · 25/08/2012 09:50

I think as with everything there is a reverse swing due soon. Wonder what literary treat awaits us this time next year?

A life in velour - by me. Should be a humdinger.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 25/08/2012 12:03

Anyone care to answer the question I asked at 00:13.21?

24HourPARDyPerson · 25/08/2012 12:36

Saggy I would say its antifeminist in that she she should've just dumped him if he cold and controlling.she doesn't NEED him, doesn't need to stay in a relationship where she has to keep expanding energy by having to defend her principles all the time. Sounds like hard work.
Plus the general point being made that it eroticizes male domination over women. Like that's something new and transgressive. It's the see old shit since Lilith refused to lie under Adam and got punished for it. She had to be exchanged for a woman who freely chose her subordinate status.so there's nothing new or taboo busting about this old story

NarkedRaspberry · 25/08/2012 12:41

I saw that. Very foolish. Book burning is such a negative thing to do and has strong historical associations.

Printing it is an insult to trees, but burning it is unacceptable.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 25/08/2012 12:47

I really don't understand the bile about this book.

I read all three, enjoyed them, and found them mildly titillating. That does not mean I think that is how it should be in RL.

I never ever want to be raped, that doesn't mean I can't enjoy non-consent erotica.

People who can't distinguish between fiction and reality have ishoos that 50 shades isn't going to exacerbate much.

It's the same as the argument about violent video games etc.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 25/08/2012 12:49

Should have said it's a pile of crap, but then so is Eastenders, I enjoy being low brow :)

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