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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not feed the tortoise?

49 replies

Sal100 · 24/08/2012 19:03

Dh worked from home today. He got stropy and fed the tortoise as no one else has. He hasnt spoken to me all afternoon and was ranting that he has to work so shouldnt be doing it. It is his tortoise. I did not want it and do not like it very much. The kids arent interested in it either. He knew when he bought it I didnt want one. (I do feed the tortoise when he doesnt bother and is in work but he doesnt know this as I dont want him to expect me to do it)

When he brought home the gineau pigs I looked after them until they died. I am still looking after the rabbit he turned up with one day. He wanted a dog, we agreed he would walk the dog every day and at weekends clear up after him in the garden, i would clear up during the week. He has never walked him and has never cleared up after him. I get up at 6.30am to take his dog for a walk during term time (get a lie in during school holidays), i clear up the garden every day and I feed and water the dog.

His arguement is that he works so shouldnt do anything. My arguement is that I didnt want the tortoise, he just went out and bought it so he can look after it especially seeing as I am now looking after all the other animals he has brought home.

OP posts:
PureMorning · 24/08/2012 19:05

You can't let it starve to prove a point. Get the animals regimes if you don't want to care for them and tell you're dh you will regime him if he brings any other animals home

pjmama · 24/08/2012 19:05

YABU to NOT feed it. However, feeding it so it doesn't starve and just TELLING him you won't is fine. I thought only kids nagged for a pet and then left everything to mum to do once the novelty has worn off? I'd consider rehoming anything that he's gone out and bought without your approval and then failed to look after.

PureMorning · 24/08/2012 19:06

Rehomed not regimes thank you auto correct

Sal100 · 24/08/2012 19:06

Like I said, I do feed it when he isnt there but when he is, he should be doing it. Its his tortoise. He wont let me rehome it as he wants it so he should be looking after it.

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 24/08/2012 19:10

Is this real? You're not really posting about a 5 year old?

He takes responsibility, always, or they are rehomed. Obviously.

TidyDancer · 24/08/2012 19:14

He should be taking more responsibility, but you can't not feed an animal to make a point. Tbf, I don't think it's much to ask for you to do the feeding since he is out at work and you are at home, but it's more the overall attitude of him not consulting you on these decisions. If he's just showing up at home with animals, it's not acceptable.

juniper904 · 24/08/2012 19:14

Surely the tortoise will feed himself if he's hungry?

We had a tortoise until he ran away (they move bloody quickly!) and he ate all sorts. He especially liked polony and children's fingers, but he would make do with my mum's plants.

YANBU to dislike your OH bringing home animal after animal without asking you, but YABU to not feed the tortoise. It is a creature and it will die if you don't feed it.

Sal100 · 24/08/2012 19:23

Like I said, I do feed the tortoise when he isnt here and hasnt bothered. But I refused to today because he is here and he knew when he got it that I didnt want one.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 24/08/2012 19:29

if i were you i would tell him straight. he wanted them, he looks after them. if he isn't willing to do that then they get rehomed

StuntGirl · 24/08/2012 19:35

He either looks after it or it gets rehomed. Terrible attitude towards an animal (him, not you).

honeytea · 24/08/2012 19:37

Is your dp called Noah? what is with all the pets? yanbu to say he has to feed them all, he is a grown up if he buys a pet he needs to look after it!

Surely a tortoise isn't that hard to feed anyway?

ApricotPoodle · 24/08/2012 20:01

Where do you live? Is the tortoise ever let outside? Is its outside run not very secure? If I parked up outside your house and left the car door open would it miraculously escape from your garden, jump into my car, and come and live with me? Grin

hiddenhome · 24/08/2012 20:04

You need to arrange rehoming whilst he's at work.

Take a photograph of it before it goes and tell him he'll have to make do with that and at least a photo doesn't need feeding.

Catsmamma · 24/08/2012 20:19

gawdsake, how much of a chore is it to feed the bleeding tortoise (tour-toys or tor-tus)

Pop a stamp on it and I'll pm you my address!

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 24/08/2012 20:35

I have tortoises - if you really want to be rid, I'll take it

Sal100 · 24/08/2012 20:48

I want dh to take responsibility for the pet he bought that he knew I didnt want. I dont mind helping out when he has forgotten or not had time because of work, but it was his attitude today that i should do it. Why get a pet and then expect other people to look after it. I am already doing that with the rabbit and dog, i think thats enough.

He has 1 last chance, either look after it (and i dont mind helping if he is too busy etc) otherwise it will be rehomed.

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 24/08/2012 20:49

seriously, If you are in the South East, I'll rehome it for you

Sal100 · 24/08/2012 21:15

thank you for the offer, but am not in that part of the country.

OP posts:
DrLobster · 24/08/2012 21:19

For goodness sake how much effort is it to put some salad vegtables on the lawn for the tortoise. Anyone who is even thinking of staving a tortoise to make a point is a real sicko.

Even if my wife brought home some animal which I hated I would not want to wish ill on the thing.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 24/08/2012 21:19

I'll take the tortoise if you're in the North East - I will love it for as long as I live and treat it like one of the family. I have always wanted a tortoise Grin Tell your DH it ran away!

TheVermiciousKnid · 24/08/2012 21:25

He thinks he doesn't need to do anything because he works? Does that apply to other things as well, like housework/childcare? Hmm. Never mind rehoming the tortoise, I would be tempted to rehome the husband. Wink

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 24/08/2012 21:55

Feed the tortoise.

Mrsjay · 24/08/2012 22:07

you cant starve it cos you are angry at your husband re home the animals you dont want them you are resenting them which I understand but dont not feed them

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 24/08/2012 22:12

Saggy there you are! I have been stalking looking for you everywhere and have now PMed you to tell you why Grin Wink

MousyMouse · 24/08/2012 22:18

leave the bastard always wanted to shout that out loud

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