To be finding two children overwhelming and exhausting?

[raininginbaltimore]

First proper solo day with two dc (ds is 2.11 and dd is 3 weeks). A numbe

It is hard but youll get there.

I've got a six month old and a 2y 3mo. DH is out tonight and I've actually managed to get them both to bed. I never would have thought I'd manage that a few months ago.

YANBU I m completely spent after a day with my 2. Worry not.

Yanbu. I have a 9 year old and a 9 week old and that's hard enough. I can't imagine what its like with 2 young ones! But give it a few weeks and the baby will be happy to be left for a few mins, and hopefully a routine will form. In the meantime get / use a sling and learn to breathe deeply and count to 10 under your breath - a lot.

Ah the first solo day is quite an event. Well done, you did very well to get to the end of it! It does get easier - would def recommend a sling, it means that you can carry on life with your 2 yr old and not have to stay in for naps or do special trips out in buggy to get them to sleep in that.

Having a toddler and a newborn is the hardest thing I've ever done (I managed to spread the next 2 out!). You're right - it is overwhelming. I remember once being sat on the stairs with screaming DC1 in one arm and screaming DC2 in the other and not knowing what to do - so I just kept sitting there. My point is - I survived; it got easier. You get routines, you manage, and you start to enjoy it.

YANBU. It gets more fun, but not much less exhausting! (2.11 and 7 months here!)

My DD1 was 21 months when DD2 was born and it must have been the hardest 4 months of my life! It does get easier, you will settle into a routine and be juggling them in no time!

Have you got someone who can look after DS for a bit during the day? Even if you don't do anything but stare at your DD, it is nice to try and get some 1 to 1 time when they are so small.

It is absolutely exhausting - but it WILL pass

Im in similar situation, dd 2.11 and ds 3 months. I was terrified at the thought of being left alone with them both, but its really not so bad. Its a total cliche but it does go so fast. will ds be getting his nursery place in Jan? That will make things much easier.

No UANBU!! You have my sympathies!! It is hard work, well I found it hard work.
I had a 15 month old & a newborn! My SIL stayed for a few days to "help" me out, I told her to stay home after 4 days! It was like having a third child to look after!
It does get easier.
Go to some mums & tots groups, it`s hard work getting there but the benefit of relaxing once you get there is so nice!!

It posted before I finished. Here is rest

					First proper solo day with two dc (ds is 2.11 and dd is 3 weeks). A number of incidents, including ds pooing himself (he has been potty trained with no accidents for at least two months), ds falling off a stool (a high ikea one) and hurting himself, me locking us out of house in rain. 

I am shattered, the house is a shit tip. I still need to empty and reload dishwasher and do bottles for night feeds. I just want a bath and to read in bed or something.

But dd is a "4th trimester" won't be put down baby. I know it is normal, I know she is only small. She has spent whole day in sling. DH is working until 3.30am.

I feel overwhelmed that every day will be like this. I am so shattered. I just want a bath. Or just to be on my own, with two arms or no sling.

Yanbu I've got a 6 year old and a just turned 1 year old and I'm completely done in too.

Agree with MrJamin. It definitely gets easier - you find ways round things and toddler gets more used it all too. I started to enjoy it after a while too! I know this sounds trite but I found it helped to make sure I ate enough in the day and drank too (water, not gin..) The word "gruelling" always comes to mind though.

It feels overwhelming at first but it gets easier and lovelier and soon they become pals and entertain each other and it just isn't overwhelming anymore. Congratulations on first solo day! I remember mine well. My youngest is 19 months now and having two is just great. Hang on in there, everyone finds this bit tough!

Wrote this on your other thread - just in case you didn't see it -
Go easy on yourself with respect to the state of the house - just to what is absolutely necessary and get your DH involved as much as you can. Repeat ad infinitum: it does get better & its just a phase. Have you got DS down for some childcare when he gets his 15 free hours? That will make a difference.

Oh shit! Reading this is making me scared! DS is 17 months and have discovered I'm pregnant (a happy accident). I had extreme PND with DS too. DS will just be gone two if this pregnancy works out. Watching thread with interest for encouragement. Congrats on your two OP.

Today was quite possibly the hardest thing you will ever do in your life, and you've made it! Go you
Ignore the state of the house - as long as you aren't wallowing in actual filth or fighting the vermin to get to the fridge, let it go. A bit of dust is perfectly acceptable, and will not hurt anyone.
Take your time, do things your way, and just keep going - classic "Keep Calm and Carry On", it's trite but true. And every day will be a bit easier. It might bore you rigid, and suck your very soul from your body with sheer mindnumbing drudgery, but it will never be as bad as it was today, and you will be fine! Honestly. You can do this. You already are doing it, and doing a good job.

Thanks. Sorry for double post, my phone was playing up.

I know it will pass, the need to be held. I just don't think I have ever been so tired in my entire life!

I felt bad for ds too, poor boy kept injuring himself cos I couldn't get to him in time. And I snapped at him as I was so ed tired and he was playing up.

I have DS who is just 2, and DD who is coming up for 7 weeks. It has suddenly just got easier, and mostly that is because DS seems to have accepted DD living with us as being okay. The first few weeks were hard, not because of her, but because of him - endless little tantrums and refusal/ inability to do stuff that he is perfectly capable of doing, e.g. refusing to walk and wanting to be carried, throwing all his food on the floor, etc. etc. (Similar to your DS pooing himself.) And now I manage alone every day, and do bed time alone. Now that DS has stopped trying to squash DD at every available opportunity, she can go in her chair/ on her playmat while I build Duplo fire stations/ make trains out of playdoh with DS, and DS is getting better at the buggy board which means that when we're out I have both hands and arms totally free to climb climbing frames/ trees/ build sandcastles with him.

I tried really hard at the beginning to do as little as possible with DD in front of DS, which I think helped (I got one on one time with her while he was asleep, also I'm co-sleeping with her so we get all night together). He's now happier about her doing stuff with us during the day, and "Shall we see if the baby wants to have a bath with us?" Meets with a resounding "Yes." (We all three of us bath together.)
It will get easier. It really will. But I did wonder myself if I'd ever reach that point. (He did try to hoover her up though yesterday, so I'm not entirely out of the woods . . . . )

Just go easy on yourself, more than you would have pre-DC2, i.e. don't bath them unless they are dirty, don't slave over a home-made meal- DS1 and I ate a good load of pies, fish fingers and oven chips! Go out as much as possible so you don't have a messy house at the end of the day. Most importantly make sure you get some adult contact every day so you have an adult conversation - especially if your DH doesn't get back in time for tea. I think I nearly went mad with toddler conversations all day.

See so far ds hasn't shown any malice towards her- just me! All dd did today was be in sling! I just got her out to feed!

I did do some craft with ds which was great. And then I left him alone on stool to get bottle and he fell head first.

We have had lots of refusing to walk, throwing food which I know is normal.

You have described what my first solo days were like for me when DD was born, DS was 2.9yrs. He'd been potty trained for months, but every time I had to change DD's nappy he'd poo, or fall over, or cry and cry and cry and cry. I wanted to do the same. After a week or so he gave up the poo as attention seeking thing, thank fuck.

It really does get easier.

I feel your pain Op. I have DD1 20 months and DD2 6 months and I am very very tired today!

But it does get easier and it sell suddenly becomes worth it when you see them interacting with each other for the first ttime.

Bet you do a great job, just relax and try to enjoy it! :)

I had a newborn, a 15month toddler and a 5 year old. It was hard but you soon get into a routine.
You will wake one day to find it has all somehow clicked into place.
Until then take it easy and don't try to be perfect.

I also find that I have to be a LOT more organised having two. I second MrsJamin's recommendation that you spend as little time in the house as possible . . . . I make sure that both nappy bags are ready the night before, at the weekends I get DH to make a big batch of mince/ risotto/ macaroni cheese which is all frozen in one portion sized tupperware pots so DS's supper is really easy to do (and failing that there's always baked beans) (I live on M&S ready meals), I get Sainsbury's to deliver because there is no way I can shop with two of them, etc. etc.

It is hard and exhausting, no doubt about that. The good thing (and trust me, I've been there, I know it won't comfort you much now) is that when you have a fairly smallish age gap, they make great playmates, and even though it is harder now with a smaller gap, it will make things much easier down the road when they can play with each other and not always need you.