To keep my DH's name on divorce

[SaraBellumHertz]

Ok this is hypothetical but still .....

It was the cause of much debate in the office today so interested on thoughts.

I have a 'professional' career. When I married I kept my maiden name for work, I took my DH's name for practical reasons for 'homelife' which became important reasons when we had DC as I wanted to share their name.

Subsequently I moved overseas and due to various issues with my passport and visa it was easier to work under my married name. I now consider DH's name to by my own.

The comment was made in relation to someone who had reverted to their maiden name that it would be weird to keep a DH's name if you separate and in fact it shows the world you are still emotionally attached

I got rid of my married name first chance I had, I needed to to feel free of him iykwim. I went back to my maiden name

When I remarried I was planning on keeping my maiden name but decided it would be better to take Dh name as we were doing the spousal visa thing,he was coming here to USA and they are funny bout " non traditional " things we figured it would be less trouble. Im happy with my name but Dh still refers to me by my maiden name even after all these years,its who I am

I kept my first married name though I hated it for all kinds of reasons; my maiden name is very distinctive; no one can spell it or pronounce it which is one of the several reasons. I remarried and changed my name to his and have now been separated/divorced for 17 years, I kept his name and my Dc's have his surname despite being no relation to him. I sometimes get a from people for that! but I tell my Dc's that they are first generation Solo's :)

My sister kept her married name after divorce too, for her it was a case of making the point to her MIL and the world in general that she didn't run off with the secretary. That was how she felt about it

Sidge she is not alive.

I am in the process of divorcing. Once I am free, one of the first things I shall do is to change my name back to my maiden name. I want nothing to remind me of him, and I certainly do not want to feel in anyway 'attached' to him.

Both my kids (18 and 15) will also change to my maiden name - their choice, as they feel the same. My own family, where my maiden name comes from, have supported the kids and me through this awful process and the kids have decided for themselves the surname that they'd prefer.

I shall also revert to 'Miss', mainly for the joy that it will bring me every time I see/hear myself addressed as such, or have to write it myself, as the reminder that I am no longer married to such an awful person.

If I ever marry again, I shall keep my maiden name.

I kept my married name, it's my professional name and I'm the only one on the register with that name! It's also a much nicer name than my maiden name (sorry Dad!) If/when I marry DP I'll change to his name, as it's not fair to him to keep exHs name than. I get round the Mrs/Ms/Miss thing by using Dr

Well at xh insistence I took his name but it wasnt a big deal

Likewise I cant get worked up at still having his name although I would prefer my maiden name and dont have any "professional issues" that I should keep my married name

I think my DC would be a bit sad too

Those saying they are pissed off at their DHs exs keeping their married names - what a bloody cheek !

My DM stuck to her married name when she divorced my father - I was 18/19 at the time so I don't think she was worried about different names for us, but she'd been "Mrs Enfyshedd" for a lot longer than she'd been "Miss Smith". She's now "Ms Enfyshedd".

A friend of my DM changed her name by deed poll to her then DP's name after they had a DC together. Never married him, they broke up a few years later, but she wanted to have the same surname as her DC and didn't want the hassle of marrying her then DP I think it was because she thought he was a prat.

Very strange to keep hearing the surname referred to as "his name"! It's not "his name" it's "your name" from the time YOU decided to change it! I have decided, on my divorce, not to change MY name to any other of MY names that I have held in the past but to keep MY current name as, like many other posters, it will be easier to have the same name as my children. Changing your name on marriage is part of a cultural tradition which many of us go along with and when you change your name to something else - it's still YOUR name. Millions of happily married women are not pretending to have a different name - it really is their name now!

Interestingly noone expects widows to change their name. Imagine if we expected widows to revert to a past name after a suitable amount of time and grieving to prove that they are no longer emotionally attached to their dead husbands!

I do not think of it as his name or my name -it is our family name, me and hubby and our children have our family name - I will not apologise for being a traditionalist, it has NO effect on my identity - taking our family name does not mean I have totally given up my identity nor subjugated myself to my husband - hence if we were to split, I would keep our family name.

Absolutely fine to keep it, if you take it on marrying it becomes yours to do what you want with.

A colleague of mine ,Mrs Smith, added her original name after the divorce and became Ms Smth-Jones, after 2 yrs she quietly dropped the Smith and was Ms Jones again - it was a really effective way of doing it so very few people got

I am actually at those who are pissed off that exes kept the married name, how petty can you be? Seriously. It actually never occurred to me there could be anyone who felt like that till I read it here. Pathetic imvho.

One of those things I suppose, we can't all like/dislike the same stuff! Normally I don't let things bother me but for some reason that did.

She has remarried now anyway which I am quite pleased about.

What akaemmafrost said. Honestly, in my case ex's new "lady" got my man, half my assets and my future pension - surely she couldn't be petty enough to expect me to change my name as well??

I'd want rid of it. But it's hypothetical as I'm quite happy with my own name and don't need to change it to try and fit in.

I'm sure people have their reasons to both take someone elses name and them keep it again, but I always think they are a bit sad in hanging onto to something that has gone. Rightly or wrongly I assume that women who are "over it" will use their own names and not their husbands.