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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would IBU to ask my inlaws to buy their own stairgates/cheap carseat for DS?

53 replies

LadyFlumpalot · 23/08/2012 16:39

Genuine question - want to canvass opinions.

As the title says really - would it be reasonable of me to ask inlaws to buy their own stairgates and carseat for DS so that we don't have to unscrew our stairgates and swap out the carseat every time they have him or we go visit?

It's not a huge deal, it's just a tadge irritating!

OP posts:

StateofConfusion · 23/08/2012 17:09

End of asda baby event stair gates go for £5 usually.

There is no such thing as a good cheap carseat, you can't buy one for them either as it needs to be checked and fitted in the car its used in!

Original poster

LadyFlumpalot · 23/08/2012 17:09

Petwoman You are a genius! I'll do that, but I'll save up for a bit first so we can afford to pay if they don't offer.

Thank you.

OP posts:

LST · 23/08/2012 17:11

YANBU op. My parents have their own everything as do DPs. That's cots, toys, carseats, stair gates, bowels and even nappies. I never asked them they just did.

PurpleAndPoppyWearer · 23/08/2012 17:18

What about buying a travel stair gate to take with you? We have one and it folds up into a bag. Maybe you can find one of those on eBay?

My PILs have learned how to fit the car seats so that we can just swap over as needed. When DCs were smaller we had one that clicked into an Isofix base and PILs bought the base and kept that in their car to use as needed. Mind you, it was worth it for them as they used it for DNs as well as our DCs.

We were able to insure my Mum as a named driver on our second car for a ridiculously cheap £20 a year so have done that and she just borrows our car rather than swapping seats. Is that an option?

LilyCocoplatt · 23/08/2012 17:26

Keep an eye out for an asda baby event as they usually have toddler car seats for £25.

NUFC69 · 23/08/2012 17:28

We knew we would be having my GS one day a week when my DD went back to work - and we bought a secondhand cot, pushchair and a new car seat (we didn't get a stairgate at first and subsequently have not had a problem, so we won't be buying one unless my brand new GD is more of a climber!). We did it in consultation with my DD and it never occurred to me that she would pay for these things. Having my GS one day a week is an absolute delight and privilege.

I think the idea of saying to your in-laws "we are going to get these things" is a good one - I'm sure if they can afford it they would be pleased to buy them.

Original poster

LadyFlumpalot · 23/08/2012 17:30

Thank you for your input NUFC69. It is good to have a grandparents perspective on the issue.

OP posts:

Biggem · 23/08/2012 17:33

Know it's not inlaws, but my Mum bought her own carseat and stairgate (stairgate from eBay, £7.00)
So no, personally YANBU

Shutupanddrive · 23/08/2012 17:36

Yabu, but your own

Shutupanddrive · 23/08/2012 17:36

Buy not but

Longdistance · 23/08/2012 17:38

If they're going to have them, then buy them yourself. I did with my mum and dad actually. But, my mil was really enthusiastic and bought stuff herself, which was lovely.
For my parents I bought a car seat from Asda, travel cot, and a stairgate we had spare. Also, a change mat, I'd leave nappies and wipes at their house, and therest they sorted themselves, like toys.
Mil is great, and will borrow something from a friend if temporary.

Astr0naut · 23/08/2012 17:45

We did same sa longdistance. In fact, I've got an asda car seat in my car. Ds has been in it for almost 2 years now.

My mum also either gets little bits from charity shops, or gives them my old toys. My My Little Ponies are currently enjoying a second outing.

ShutTheFrontDoor · 23/08/2012 17:48

Lidl have stair gates in now. I went today !

LadyofWinterfell · 23/08/2012 17:55

If you know anyone near Birmingham i have a Britax eclipse i want to shift, it's just sitting on top of my wardrobe taking up space!

If not, ASDA baby events are very good for Nania car seats, they're fairly generic.

2rebecca · 23/08/2012 18:01

My kids never needed stairgates at other peoples houses as there were always plenty of adults around to supervise them. They didn't tend to be left without a parent when visiting though and relatives didn't have them in their cars often and we'd just swap the car seat over which doesn't take long. If your relatives are helping you out by looking after the kids without you, which it sounds like with the need for stairgates then you should buy them in return for the free babysitting.

TuesdayNightClub · 23/08/2012 18:10

my parents and in-laws both bought their own gates and carseats when babies came along in the family, as well as travel cots, black out blinds, high chairs, fire guard, stroller and toys! I suppose they thought 'if we want to have the babies/toddlers as guests, we should accommodate them and make them safe'

So in a way I don't think you are being unreasonable to expect your parents house/car to be able to accommodate the needs of the newest members of the family, it's the asking them to pay for it that's a bit more tricky!

gamerwidow · 23/08/2012 18:12

Have a look on ebay for stairgates. We got 2 to leave at my PIL for less than £10.

Sirzy · 23/08/2012 18:18

I think there is a difference between families who offer to buy them and asking/telling family to provide equiptment for your child.

My mum has a carseat for DS and happily got one from kiddicare (£30 fantastic seat) but I would never have asked her to buy it and had planned on buying one for them myself

goatscanlaugh · 23/08/2012 20:22

Honestly the idea of 'offering' to buy the items yourself kind of makes me cringe. In my opinion my childs safety is my job. I bought a travel stairgate in Argos and bought the car seats for my parents, aunt and finally a booster for my sister when he was old enough.

I was very clear that I expected the items to be used and so felt that it was my responsibility to buy them.

CoolaSchmoola · 24/08/2012 00:55

Kiddicare for stairgates - the more you buy the cheaper they are, and free delivery too :)

1stMrsF · 24/08/2012 09:58

My parents have bought everything for their house - cots, car seats, stairgates even toothbrushes and babywash so I don't have to pack anything. MIL buys nothing, things we have there I have bought myself and said 'can i leave these here?'. I think my parents are very generous, I don't think MIL is unreasonable (but I do sometimes think it would be nice if she got them some things and showed an interest)

WildWorld2004 · 24/08/2012 14:44

My parents never had stairgates for their kids or grandkids and they even had a few of their grandchildren living with them.

My sis bought a car seat for my parents house however my dad bought a booster for my dd as she is too old for the carseat my sis bought.

Its not up to the grandparents its up to the parents.

ReallyTired · 24/08/2012 14:48

"Can anyone reccommend a good, but cheap carseat? "

How old is your child?

We have a stairgate like this

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Travel-Stair-Gate-/180956570130?pt=UK_Baby_Baby_Safety_ET&hash=item2a21da2212

LilyCocoplatt · 24/08/2012 16:59

I've just had an email to say asda baby event starts in store on monday so check there for bargains.

Nanny0gg · 24/08/2012 17:40

I bought car seats and did buy a gate but it didn't fit.
I was given an old cot and I bought the mattress and sheets.

Wouldn't have occurred to me to ask one DC to buy them as they will get used for all DGC (when other DC has some).

Friend who has a number of DGC has just bought a buggy for simplicity.

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