AIBU re 13 yr old DD and male friend in her bedroom

[sensuallettuce]

I am at work and OH at home with 5 of our children (we have none together he is not DD's dad).

DD has a best mate who is a boy who she asked if she could invite round - I said fine as long as ok with OH.

He has just phoned asking if DD's friend is allowed in her bedroom as he has told them to go downstairs (where there is little peace from the younger kids).

I said its fine as they are just friends and tbh I can't see what they would get up to there that they couldn't do elsewhere (ie - the park) if they really wanted to.

OH says he's not comfortable with it while he's in the house (in charge as such) but I feel a bit sorry for DD (who I do trust).

Argh!! AIBU?!

Are your DP's DCs older or the same kind of age? If so, he may have already made some rules for them which he feels need to be the same for your DD.

I've been in the same position as your DP - in the house with various of our kids, including DSD (14) who decided to shut herself away in her room with BF (16). I wasn't comfortable about it, but talking to DP he said he just goes and interupts her regularly and he's OK about it - I'm not he actually does do this, and it isn't something I'd be able to do without it being really contrived. Not easy. Might think about using one of the younger siblings to go and interupt next time.

The rule in this house for DS1 (16) and DD (14) is that being in the bedroom is fine, but the door must remain open when they are with someone of the opposite sex. It doesn't matter if it is a friend or a boy / girlfriend. TBH though, with their two 3 year old brothers barging into their bedrooms every few minutes, I don't think they'd get up to much anyway!

His DDs are much younger - I look forward to his neurosis once they hit their teens

His DDs are much younger - I look forward to his neurosis once they hit their teens

he will be rocking in a corner with a shotgun

My husband is a bit like that we were going to take dd1 and her boyfriend next time we went away int he caravan they would be in the tent , Dh said will DD be in the van with us they are 19 and nearly 21 and have been going out 2.5 years

This is another reason I can use to convince DH that we should have another DC. To use them to barge in on his PFB DD and keep her honour intact

Your DP is bu, your right they would do whatever they want in the park. I think the most important thing is sex education at that age, at some point dd will start having sex hopefully not at 13 but I think it's more how you deal with the responsibilities and consequences around sex rather than preventing it. My mum let my boyfriends sleep in my bed from when I was 13 crazy liberal mum but she allways had a box of condoms in the bathroom and gave me my own condoms at 13, with the advice that I didnt need to feel I had to have sex but when I did choose to have sex I had to use condoms. I never once had unprotected sex (before ttc) I think her method worked but it must have been nerve racking for her.

I work in sexual health so we are v open about sex and there are often condoms, lube and demonstrators lying around for work .