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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS has given away his (outgrown) bike

40 replies

DizzyBeeisSchoolShoeShopping · 21/08/2012 22:26

DS (8) plays with some boys who live a few doors away from us on the road adjoining some common land next to our house. I don't know the parents of one of the boys but I know who they are/where they live. Anyway, the younger boy he was playing with came to our house and was playing in the garden, they wanted to ride bikes so DS got his out the shed and let the other boy borrow his outgrown bike. He then said he'd decided to give the bike to the other boy, I was planning to sell it and I said to DS that the boy could borrow the bike but not keep it.

DS came home and put his bike away last night and said he'd given the bike to the other boy and his Dad had put it in the garage. I am a little miffed (though I have not said so to DS) that the Dad has not popped round to say thank you or to say "Are you sure that it's ok for my son to have the bike". I don't want any money for it and I am pleased that DS has been considerate but I would expect a thank you from the other parents.

AIBU?

OP posts:
HecateHarshPants · 21/08/2012 22:28

No.

and I wouldn't be too happy with my son giving away the bike after I had specifically told him not to, either. Although it is nice that he has a kind heart.

McHappyPants2012 · 21/08/2012 22:28

yabu, it is his bike to do with what he wants.

what would you have used the money for

Original poster
DizzyBeeisSchoolShoeShopping · 21/08/2012 22:31

Any money from their toys goes in their piggy banks for when they want something new. The issue isn't that he has given the bike away (his bike, his choice) but that I've not had so much as a thank you from the other parents.

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 21/08/2012 22:33

Perhaps the father put it in the garage for safe keeping and will return it.

If another child gave my children any toy I would return it back to the parent when I could

trigirl2012 · 21/08/2012 22:35

I would contact the mother and say that it wasn't for him to give away and ask for it back or say you were going to sell on ebay.

Original poster
DizzyBeeisSchoolShoeShopping · 21/08/2012 22:35

I would do that as well.

OP posts:
HecateHarshPants · 21/08/2012 22:39

Ah well, I'm a meanie pants Grin

NameGames · 21/08/2012 22:47

Perhaps the boy he gave it to said thank you to your DS. If it's his bike to give away, why should you be getting the thanks?

Though I think with kids of 8 I would be returning something as big as a bike to the family home.

coppertop · 21/08/2012 22:49

I'll join Hecate in being a meanie then because I wouldn't be happy either.

It's not about thanks or payment. It's the fact that he gave the bike away even after you specifically told him not to.

Original poster
DizzyBeeisSchoolShoeShopping · 21/08/2012 22:51

If DS came home with a bike he'd been given then I'd be going to see the parents to check it was really OK and would be saying thanks to the parents if it really was, I therefore would appreciate a thank you. I won't be asking for it back, DS gave it as a gift, it's just I'd have appreciated them saying thanks and checking it with me.

OP posts:
HippoPottyMouth · 21/08/2012 22:53

Yanbu. That's v rude if they've just kept it without checking. Maybe they'll be round in the next day or two though?

NameGames · 21/08/2012 23:14

Parents checking yes. You getting thanks - why?

MuddlingMackem · 21/08/2012 23:17

YANBU.

If either of mine came home with a bike and said another child had given it to them I'd be round the other child's house asap to return it!

DD has a bad habit of coming home with little bits and bobs she says she's been given by a friend but which I'm a bit Hmm about (on one occasion it was a pound coin!), and I always tell her to take them back into school and return them if I can't check with the parent. With a bike I'd be very, very dubious that it was a permitted gift so would most definitely check.

Vaginald · 21/08/2012 23:29

Yanbu!!

"his b

Vaginald · 21/08/2012 23:31

Fuck you, iPhone.

Anyhoo, I think for a child of 8 yaDnbu to see the bike, and put the money towards something else they need.

Vaginald · 21/08/2012 23:31

*sell

I give up

whatsleep · 21/08/2012 23:34

I would be unhappy in principal that the family had not acknowledged your sons kindness, but may e like others have said, they have just managed to catch you to say thanks. What a lovely child to be so thoughtful Smile

InkyBinky · 21/08/2012 23:46

YANBU. I would ask for it back. You son is only eight and the other family should know that he is too young to know the proper value of things. I wouldn't be the least bit embarrassed to ask for it back either.

BackforGood · 21/08/2012 23:58

If any of my dc came home with something that another child had given them, I would take it back to the parents to check, yes, and, then, if it really, really was OK that they had passed it on (and not just the parent feeling embarrassed into it) then I would thank them graciously.

It is feasible that I might not have been able to do this instantly, and I might have to do it 2 days later, or whatever, when I got the chance if I had to walk round to the house, and couldn't phone.

GWenlockMaryLacey · 22/08/2012 00:01

Seriously, you don't think the parents should get thanks? So a small child hands my child a bike. Apart from not checking, I'm supposed to say thanks, kid and say no more about it? Very odd.

I'd be hopping. If he was 15 then I'd agree it's his to make the decision, but no one with any conscience would take something substantial from a child of 8. Blimey, my niece would take back a pencil she'd given you.

MrsJohnMurphy · 22/08/2012 00:17

YANBU if my child came home with a random toy/bike I would certainly check that the child was actually allowed to give it away. Although tbh I can't imagine you would get that much for a second hand bike, unless it was a super posh whizzy expensive brand of bike, I would let the child keep it.

Original poster
DizzyBeeisSchoolShoeShopping · 22/08/2012 11:07

No, it wasn't expensive. It's in good condition and maybe I'd have got £20 for it. If I'd known a friend's son needed a new bike I'd have given it away. It's not that, just the lack of any acknowledgement at all that is irritating me.

At the end of the day I'm just pleased at DS's generosity and am not bothered that he's given the bike away, I'd just have appreciated them checking and saying thanks.

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 22/08/2012 11:15

I'd go and ask for the bike back.

There is no way I would accept a bike off an 8 year old. I would check with the parents, and then offer loads of thanks if they really were giving it away.

I'm guessing the parents thinks their child is just borrowing the bike for now, and fully expects it to be returned to you.

Maybe I'm missing something.

helenthemadex · 22/08/2012 11:23

if my 8 year old came home and said someone had given her a bike at the very least I would be checking this with the childs parents

so no yanbu

Ithinkitsjustme · 22/08/2012 11:35

I'd be asking for it back, YANBU to expect some sort of acknowledgement and I would alsways return anything that my child brought home. If it was a pencil then that might not be until the next time they saw each other, but if it was something like a bike I would make time, right then and there to return it. If the offer was genuine, then i woul dinsist on making a contribution, even if not as much as the original owner would have got in a private sale.

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