DS has given away his (outgrown) bike

[DizzyBeeisSchoolShoeShopping]

DS (8) plays with some boys who live a few doors away from us on the road adjoining some common land next to our house. I don't know the parents of one of the boys but I know who they are/where they live. Anyway, the younger boy he was playing with came to our house and was playing in the garden, they wanted to ride bikes so DS got his out the shed and let the other boy borrow his outgrown bike. He then said he'd decided to give the bike to the other boy, I was planning to sell it and I said to DS that the boy could borrow the bike but not keep it.

DS came home and put his bike away last night and said he'd given the bike to the other boy and his Dad had put it in the garage. I am a little miffed (though I have not said so to DS) that the Dad has not popped round to say thank you or to say "Are you sure that it's ok for my son to have the bike". I don't want any money for it and I am pleased that DS has been considerate but I would expect a thank you from the other parents.

AIBU?

It may be his bike but I suspect it was bought with your money which makes it your final say imo.

Agree rude of the parents not to at the very least say thanks for bike. On the otherhand I'd be quite glad that another child is getting use out it-hopefully the child is chuffed to bits with your son's bike.

The other parents should say something out of politeness, but the reality is that they probably don't want to because their son is so chuffed with his new bike that they will be worried that if they say anything, you will take it back and they will be left with a devestated child and no way of affording a new bike.

They should still say something, but I can see how they might justify it to themselves that they don't have to, because your child put them in this position in the first place.

I'd leave it and just talk to your dc about thinking it through properly before they give anything away again. But it sounds like you are doing that anyway.

That's very sweet of your ds. I don't blame you for being miffed that the parents haven't thanked you but perhaps they just haven't had time to pop round yet. Getting out of the house for any reason here is a mammoth operation, no such thing as "popping out" to see a neighbour!

Thanks everybody, feedback appreciated.

only on mumsnet would you see people claiming that it's fine for an 8 year old to give a bike away and that his parents are unreasonable for expecting any thanks

i mean REALLY?

YANBU. I would be going there and getting it back. If your DS had bought the bike himself, and gave it away, well I'd say tht was up to him. But if it's something you can sell and put the money towards anything or save, then that's what I would do. go get the bike back!

Are you certain that your son wasn't 'persuaded' to give his bike away?

The fact that he went ahead even after you't told him not to seems a bit odd.

Yanbu. I'd be asking for it back.

If my dc came home with a toy/bike I'd be thanking checking with the other child's parents. And my eldest wouldn't accept unless he had checked. Bikes aren't cheap. I've kept all ds1 and have them in garage for ds2 (8 years between them)

I would be very pleased that my son gave HIS bike away rather than wanting £20 in his piggy bank from me selling it.

Your son is generous, kind hearted and is thinking more about other than himself.

If the Dad asked him, thanked him, then that should be enough. We don't give I order to receive back, be it thanks or money.

If the bike belonged to you it would be different

I would be checking with the parents too. Kids have terrible habit of giving stuff away that either isn't theirs or they regret later.

I'd be more miffed about my child disobeying me. You told him not to give the bike, but that the boy could borrow it.

Yes, I'm glad he was generous enough to do it, no he wasn't persuaded. As I've said, the issue was the lack of thanks which, to me, indicates a certain lack of manners - I'd be round there to say thanks and check it was OK.

Just after christmas DS went to his friends house & came home with a scooter (one of those stunt things, a bit battered but fine) and told me his friend's neighbour had outgrown it and said he could have it. I did check with his parents, they were fine about it and refused any payment for it!
I bought them some wine as a thank you, just a gesture but it's all they would accept. YANBU at all, a thank you costs nothing.
And you have a lovely kind hearted son x