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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to throw the sweets away

79 replies

ZonkedOut · 21/08/2012 11:34

My lovely and well meaning neighbours came for lunch this weekend and brought a bag of sweets with them as a present for our girls. By bag, I mean a carrier with 3 packets of 200g (or more) each of various Haribo stuff.

The DDs are 1.5 and 3.3, and aren't really used to sweets, and I don't want them to get used to them either. They get an occasional chocolate button as a treat, DD1 sometimes has a 10p pack of Haribo when given it. DD2 would have chocolate day, noon and night given a chance, and probably other sweets too.

I could open a bag and give them to the DDs a few at a time over the course of weeks, however, I can see them clamouring for more and more. Plus, I am bad at sweets myself, and trying to lose weight. I know that if I opened the bag, I'd probably start eating them myself, no matter how good my intentions were to start with... One or two to start with, then more.

I'm tempted to just throw them away and be done with it, but that feels bad because they were a gift for the girls. What does the MN jury say?

OP posts:
cerealqueen · 21/08/2012 14:08

oops, already suggested!

FunnysInLaJardin · 21/08/2012 14:11

btw I think having a 'sweet day' is asking for trouble too. It makes sweets seem exciting and slightly unattainable. Don't give in to constant pestering, but don't highlight sweets as any sort of issue.

LtEve am loving Naked Chocolate Grin

YusMilady · 21/08/2012 14:13

Haribo are only food in the very loosest sense. Ever heard of empty calories? It's edible - but it's not nutrition. Nobody needs to eat any sugar at all for a balanced diet.

Don't get me wrong - I eat a lot of sweet things. That's why I'm overweight. Haribo comprise sugar, pork gelatine and colourings/flavourings. It's not food in any meaningful sense.

theodorakis · 21/08/2012 14:40

What, the meaningful sense like.....science?

theodorakis · 21/08/2012 14:46

Oh the irony of defending sugar whilst cooking wholewheat pasta and brown lentils! I think it is up to people what they do or do not feed their kids but not to make statements (waiting for the sugar is poison posters) that are frankly wrong at best and snotty at worst.

IslaValargeone · 21/08/2012 14:46

My mil bought my dc a 2kg tub of Haribo at Christmas Hmm
They went in the bin.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/08/2012 14:57

You could always give them to a local food bank or homeless shelter. People with addictions can do with sugar as it can help with opiate cravings.

elfycat · 21/08/2012 14:58

LtEveDallas (was trying to work out how to copy and paste names when this one rang a bell...NR)

Naked Chocolate! Love it. Is it too late to instigate this with a 21mo?

I let my 2 DDs have a small amount of sweets or chocolate between 1 and 4 times a week depending on what we're doing. TBH they love fruit so much my problem is limiting the number of apples, pears, nectarines, bananas etc they'll get through a day. I have been known to offer chocolate instead of giving them yet another piece of fruit (after about 7-8 portions of fruit and veg the nappies can be a little unpredictable). After all I don't want nursery getting confused between diarrhoea (48 hour ban) and the child who found a bag of five apples (clean on the inside too).

Inertia · 21/08/2012 15:05

I agree with PPs who've suggested hiding them away ready for trick or treaters at Halloween.

AdoraBell · 21/08/2012 15:18

OP

If you really don't want them in the house then give them to a food bank or similar.

LtEveDallas · 21/08/2012 15:21

elfycat, We started Naked Chocolate when DD was about 10 months old - but didn't stop until she was almost 3!

Was a damn sight easier getting melted chocolate off her body than her clothes...Grin

elfycat · 21/08/2012 15:22

If you are ever wondering where to ditch excess or unwanted goodies may I suggest, amongst all the other excellent and charitable suggestions, the theatre department of your local hospital. In many years working in one we only ever had one direct thank you card and gift (the wards often donate some of their gifts) and that was from a paramedic who knew how many hours we spent putting his leg back together. Obviously most people don't remember that part of their hospital stay!

It really made our day Smile

BTW this isn't selfish as I no longer work in the department.

theodorakis · 21/08/2012 15:32

God, I struggle to bin empty food containers, let alone full ones. I have about a million Quality street tins in my cupboard.

hugandroll · 21/08/2012 16:16

I think the sugar argument is a bit silly considering cereal, bread, pasta, baked beans, yogurts, cottage cheese, cheese spread and other food considered to be healthy all has added sugar.

I can only speak from my experience, I was allowed sweets on a Saturday. As a teenager I spent all my pocket money on ciggarettes (why!?) and chocolate. When I moved out I ate several bags of share size bars and bags of chocolate and dh and I could easily eat a tin of chocolates at Christmas in a day or so. I was very lucky to not be overweight (only struggling with it after pregnancies and currently as have a 16 week old). I am now eating healthily but still crave chocolate on a daily basis.

My friend was allowed a small bag of sweets on her way home from primary school every day. Now as an adult I can't remember the last time she even fancied any let alone had any, probably Easter as she had an egg. I have know chocolate to go off in her house.

My ds1 (4yo) is allowed something regularly (bar of fudge or likewise). He often chooses it, gets it home and asks for either strawberries or a yogurt instead. He does love chocolate but doesn't like sweets and would rather fruit anyway strange child

FunnysInLaJardin · 21/08/2012 16:25

hug that's interesting as my DS1 doesn't like sweets either although he does like chocolate. I did the exact same thing as you re cigarettes and chocolate once I had a free reign and that was after over restriction as a child.

FunnysInLaJardin · 21/08/2012 16:26

oh and DH was allowed sweets when he liked and has no food issues at all. He has never binged and can't understand why you would.

Original poster
ZonkedOut · 21/08/2012 18:42

I find it interesting about the anecdotal tales of people being allowed sweets when they like.... See, to me, this is part of my problem.

I do wonder if it's as much down to the individual rather than the upbringing, though.

I do wonder if the children who're allowed sweets whenever they like are the ones who aren't that fussed anyway. I mean, if they were always allowed and binged a lot and didn't eat their main meals, then the parents would soon rethink that strategy, surely?

My DDs are already very different. Both like sweet things, but DD2 clamours for them, and throws a small tantrum when denied. DD1 has never been like that.

At 1 and 3, I feel they're too young to be allowed sweets whenever they want, though, even if I was going to go down that road. I mean, DD2 was eating butter from the tub earlier.... Given the choice, I think she'd eat nothing but chocolate.

OP posts:
GnocchiNineDoors · 21/08/2012 18:47

Split all the sweets into little sandwich bags (like 20 in each) and knot them. Put into a big tupperware tub out of reach and use them for treats? "oooh, dd you were so well behaved at the shops today, heres a little treat"

Thumbwitch · 22/08/2012 00:37

Zonked - DS isn't allowed to binge out on sweets. He has them most days, or a chocolate biscuit if not sweets, but he is only allowed a small amount. That is enough, and he knows if he's had a chocolate biscuit (penguin style) then it's no sweets, and vice versa.

Allowing him to have sweets whenever he wants would be as bad as never allowing him sweets and that's certainly not what I'm doing (and probably not what anyone else on here is suggesting either)

And if he does ever try to tantrum over not having any more, then the answer he gets is "well if you carry on like that after a few, I'm not going to buy any more again".

ProPerformer · 22/08/2012 01:05

Wasn't there some experiments a while ago that proved sugar DOESN'T make kids hyper and it's just a myth?

My DS (3) has either a few sweets or a bit of choc everyday - even his Nursary has homemade cake once or twice a week. He seems to prefer sweet things yes (but how many children don't? As a child, unless you're diabetic you need a bit more sugar in your diet anyway as low sugar levels actually make them hyper!) but he also loves savoury.

I'll probably get flamed here, but when we go out to theame parks for the day he is even allowed fizzy drinks!! In my defence on that one though, we have annual passes and an annual pass bottle meaning we get free 'soda' drinks all year so it's much cheaper to let him share from our bottle than to get him seperate drinks or even bring our own for him. Its only once a month or so (or less) so I honestly don't see the harm..... He eats and drinks healthily most of the time and he doesn't ask for fizzy at home as knows it's for theame parks only.

Mayisout · 22/08/2012 07:51

Bin them (or keep them for Halloween)

fruitpastille · 22/08/2012 08:20

They are your kids. Do what you feel comfortable with. FWIW i was fed wholewheat pasta and minimal sweets as a child and although i now prefer white pasta and bread i am still not too fussed about sweets. I would feel over faced by the amount you describe and would probably chuck them or hide them or DH would polish them off in about a day.

theodorakis · 22/08/2012 08:45

But surely DH is an independent adult? I wouldn't dream of limiting or dictating what another adult could eat. If my husband started hiding/throwing stuff away to "protect me" I would see it as controlling behaviour and leave him.

GetKnitted · 22/08/2012 09:08

YANBU. Bin them, they are better for your family in the bin than in your bodies. Your friends gift won't be wasted because everyone knows they were kind in giving you the present and your dds won't remember in the long term anyway. I respect your will power.

amybelle1990 · 22/08/2012 12:58

Can't you put them aside for x-mas/b-day presents?

P.S. good luck with the diet :) Getting your DC's into good habits is a fantastic way for getting yourself into good habits too ^^

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