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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to throw the sweets away

79 replies

ZonkedOut · 21/08/2012 11:34

My lovely and well meaning neighbours came for lunch this weekend and brought a bag of sweets with them as a present for our girls. By bag, I mean a carrier with 3 packets of 200g (or more) each of various Haribo stuff.

The DDs are 1.5 and 3.3, and aren't really used to sweets, and I don't want them to get used to them either. They get an occasional chocolate button as a treat, DD1 sometimes has a 10p pack of Haribo when given it. DD2 would have chocolate day, noon and night given a chance, and probably other sweets too.

I could open a bag and give them to the DDs a few at a time over the course of weeks, however, I can see them clamouring for more and more. Plus, I am bad at sweets myself, and trying to lose weight. I know that if I opened the bag, I'd probably start eating them myself, no matter how good my intentions were to start with... One or two to start with, then more.

I'm tempted to just throw them away and be done with it, but that feels bad because they were a gift for the girls. What does the MN jury say?

OP posts:

Megalosaurus · 21/08/2012 12:05

Am I the only one who would eat them?

MothershipG · 21/08/2012 12:09

Mega you and DH could share them! I'd try and save them for Halloween but would have to hide them from DH!

Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 12:13

If they're not used to sweets, why do you think that giving them a few will cause them to demand more and more?
DS has sweets, but not many. If he has 3 haribo-style sweets in a day, that's all he'll get, he might try for more but I just say no and that's it. He's come away from parties with party bags containing sweets, and not managed to eat all of them - I've put them in the cupboard after a few and then he's forgotten about them and months later I'll throw them out.

He's 4.8 now and this hasn't really changed - I'm probably just lucky, I know this, but I think you could let them have a few as and when without them suddenly turning into sweet-monsters.

katielou2012 · 21/08/2012 12:13

Yes, I think that is acceptable. Its only chocolate its not like im giving her a huge bag of haribo a day What do you do at easter not give your children easter eggs?

lljkk · 21/08/2012 12:14

lol @ Megalosaurus.
I would give the unopened ones away & put the others away for later (nice to sprinkle on home-made cakes, or contribute to someone's party, etc.)

AlmostAHipster · 21/08/2012 12:14

Some of these posts are hilarious!

As my old gran used to say, 'everything in moderation'.

You don't need to clutch your pearls at sugar, as if it was crack cocaine! A little in a balanced diet is absolutely fine and healthy.

OP, I would put a few sweets into separate freezer bags and let the kids have a bag as and when, so that your neighbours' gift is appreciated over time.

theodorakis · 21/08/2012 12:17

I would eat them

WorraLiberty · 21/08/2012 12:22

Thumbwitch my kids are exactly the same (all 3 of them)

A couple of months after Easter, they still have chocolate eggs left that I end up melting down into Rice Krispie cakes...and the other day I discovered a half eaten tin of Quality Street in the cupboard left over from Christmas.

We've never made a huge fuss about sugar in this house and as a result, it's just like anything else to them....they take it or leave it.

nokidshere · 21/08/2012 12:25

Well if you can't be trusted to open a pack of sweets and just give your children one or two occasionally (haribo wont go off) then pass them on to another friend with older children...

but its a bit sad really if you cant control their intake!!!

Megatron · 21/08/2012 12:27

I would just eat them.

Pandemoniaa · 21/08/2012 12:33

You might as well get them used to coping, in moderation, with some sweets. That way, the idea that sweets are an occasional treat becomes an unexciting fact. You also don't end up with a child like ds1's friend who was a complete nightmare to entertain as she pestered for sweets constantly and who, as she got a little older, spent far more of her pocket money than was healthy on rubbishy sweets which she consumed secretly.

So give them out very, very, selectively and consider keeping the rest to pass on at Halloween perhaps. I hate to see food (even sweets) thrown away so I'm sure that there must be some home for them. But as others have said, they won't go off in a hurry.

Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 12:33

YY, Worra - I still have some Celebrations in an open bowl in the dining room leftover from Christmas - DS knows they're there, as do we all, but they just haven't disappeared.

I've always let him have little bits, sweets and chocolate - it's just a part of his normal diet and it seems to have worked out well for us.

littlemisssunny · 21/08/2012 12:37

I love haribo, where do you live? grabs coat

I am happy to take them off your hands as I am a kind helpful person

Feminine · 21/08/2012 12:40

I'd never throw them away.

I would ration them out.

Its impossible to keep sweets from kids when they get older.

a few sweeties does no harm at all.

YusMilady · 21/08/2012 12:41

Chuck them out. Sugar isn't food.

theodorakis · 21/08/2012 12:43

Sugar is food

tryingtoleave · 21/08/2012 13:01

Love it, Theo! Of course sugar is food.

Not sure I would be keen on 1 yr old eating haribo though. Wouldn't it be a choking hazard?

ProbablyJustGas · 21/08/2012 13:25

If you are positive you will eat them yourself and are trying to lose weight, I would suggest saving a few for your oldest to nibble on occasionally and giving the rest away.

DSD gets sweets occasionally - like maybe once a month when we have her - but they are mainly forgotten about. There are two tubs of old Halloween candy sitting unloved under a mountain of Tupperware in the kitchen just now. The Easter eggs took several months to work through, with some help from DH and me.

She used to get sweeties more regularly. And then when she was 4-5, she went through a phase of clamoring for sweeties. It was annoying. There were tears, meltdowns, hunger strikes at dinnertime. Once an attempt to sneak her meal into the green caddy and convince us she was done. But the thing is, she would have gone through this phase at some point anyway, because we couldn't raise her in a bubble. Withholding sweeties wouldn't have taught her what healthy food is, only what forbidden food is. It took wading through that phase and being firm at dinnertime to teach her that sweeties are not her meal, only treats.

theodorakis · 21/08/2012 13:28

trying, I would say that it is extremely unadvisable to share sweets with one's children at any age. I think they taste so much nicer when stashed away as secret sweets just for me.

Original poster

ZonkedOut · 21/08/2012 13:40

To answer a few points:

I do believe in moderation, and I do think I let my DDs have sweet things in moderation. Maybe I was overstating my point when I said "an occasional chocolate button", it's more like to be a few each, up to once or twice a day. And occasional other treats like small chocolate bars or ice creams. But not every time they ask! DD2 points at the cupboard and says "Iwandat" (I want that) fairly often.

I want them to grow up with healthy habits when it comes to sweets and chocolates, unlike me. I want them to be able to take or leave them. I don't know if I'm going about it the best way, but I'm trying.

I manage my own willpower by typically not buying this sort of thing in the first place! If there's sweets or biscuits in the house, I sometimes struggle not to eat them. Sometimes I'd be fine and can resist, but I don't want to tempt fate.

I wouldn't eat their easter eggs (unless they gave a bit to me). But these sweets are different, because I know that if I did eat them, I could always buy some more to replace them... which won't help.

OP posts:

Stokey38 · 21/08/2012 13:47

Keep them for Halloween! My DD doesn't have Haribo and for some reason we are being given them so keep them for trick or treaters.

CappuccinoCarrie · 21/08/2012 13:49

Throwing them out would be wasteful, but 'regifting' them/saving for halloween/taking into workplace are all great ideas.

A friend wanted to stop her DCs pestering for sweets, so they instigated 'sweetie Friday'. It means the kids aren't asking all the time, they know they'll get some sweets (a small handful or one of those mini haribo packs) as a treat after tea on a Friday. We've started a similar thing with Sunday juice, the DCs drink water the rest of the time, and can have juice with every meal on a Sunday, which stops them pestering me about it in the week, they know the answer is no, but on sunday the answer will be yes.

FunnysInLaJardin · 21/08/2012 13:55

Interesting. The other evening my 23 yo neice was saying how the restriction of sweets in her diets caused her to binge eat when she was allowed free access to food. A habit which she now has to struggle to control.

The same thing happened to me and my older sister due to severe restrictions on being allowed sweets or 'treat' food.

Because of this my DC are allowed sweets and chocolate when they want them, within reason of course, and to date neither have shown any sort of obsessive behaviour around this type of food. In fact they are so un bothered about 'treat' food that I am unable to bribe them with sweets!

Hang on to the sweets and let you DC hjave them within reason.

LtEveDallas · 21/08/2012 14:06

DD has always had sweets / choc whenever she wanted. I've never rationed it. As a result she is hardly bothered by them now. One of the salad drawers in the fridge is half full of sweets - haribo type and choc, and has been for months and months. She knows it's there, she knows she can have some whenever she wants, she just isn't bothered by it.

We instigated "Naked Chocolate!" when she was just a baby. She'd get naked, lie on her changing mat and gum a Kinder to death. She loved it and so did we - some of my best (and most embarrassing for a teenager) photos are from those days!

I'd keep the sweets myself and let the kids have them, but if you can't trust yourself to keep away then I understand why you'd consider chucking them. Maybe keep them in the car for boring journeys?

cerealqueen · 21/08/2012 14:07

Keep them for trick and treating at Halloween?

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