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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still miss my gran?

33 replies

ellathefox · 20/08/2012 17:13

It's been 5 months since she died and I still really, really miss her. I still cry about her, not every day but a lot. She was such a big part of my life and I still feel utterly devastated. Am I being ridiculous to still be acting this? Is this normal or should I pull myself together?

OP posts:
ChestyNut · 20/08/2012 17:15

YANBU totally normal.

4 years on and I cry often about my DFs death. Miss him everyday.

Binkyridesagain · 20/08/2012 17:18

I miss both of my nans, one died 21 years ago the other 13 years ago, I still cry about them both and wish they where both still here to see how there families have grown.
Yanbu

StripyMagicDragon · 20/08/2012 17:19

YANBU. my gran brought me up herself till I was 7, she died when I was twelve. It hurts thinking she missed seeing me growing up into adulthood.
Give yourself time to grieve, but don't wallow in it. She'd want you to be happy.

valiumredhead · 20/08/2012 17:20

3 years since my lovely nan died and a year since my grandad - miss them every day.

MrsKeithRichards · 20/08/2012 17:21

Yanbu.

My grandad died 12 years ago, my granny 6 and nana 1.

I still cry for them and the things they've missed. My nana had Alzheimer's for 5 years before passing so it feels like she was gone sooner.

CheesieChippies · 20/08/2012 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 20/08/2012 17:24

my dad died in June, I had a mixed kind of relationship with him but thinking about him always brings me to tears. I just cannot seem to believe that he is no longer here, it feels too strange. i guess that because I live at the other end of the country sometimes this is easier to cope in some ways but it does kind of feel odd that everyone here just goes on as normal whilst 'back home' mum is dealing with it as a daily thing. its often the things when I think gosh dad would love to hear about that. they get me.

FreudianSlipper · 20/08/2012 17:25

i still miss my nanny and granddad and they died 9 and 17 years ago

i did live with them from 4 years old but my cousons miss them still very much too and we often have a little cry about them when we all meet up

i wish so much they had met ds they would be so thrilled with him. oh lord i am crying just thinking of this

so no yanbu not at all you will never stop missing her just one day when you think of her you will smile more than you will cry, its nice when you get there

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 20/08/2012 17:29

YANBU, I miss both my nans (one died 22 years ago, one 5 years ago) everyday.

Original poster
ellathefox · 20/08/2012 17:30

Thank you for your replies. I have lost other grandparents as well but I knew for a long time that they were dying and came to terms with it. I was onviously still really upset. This gran died quite suddenly. I was closer to her. I just didn't know if this was a normal reaction months after it happened.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 20/08/2012 17:31

You loved her and now she isn't here, of course it's a normal reaction x

Dawndonna · 20/08/2012 18:09

I lost my Grandmother in February this year. She was 99. She was an amazing woman and virtually brought me up. I miss her desperately and do find myself crying now and then.
I was in the car on Sunday and the theme from Desert Island Discs started. I was ten years old and in her kitchen, in an instant. I howled so much I had to pull over for five minutes.
I lost my Grandad 33 years ago and my Dad 17 years ago. I still cry over them too.

uselfullife · 20/08/2012 18:19

I lost my Gran 5 years ago
I'm crying now
I don't think about her every day, but every so often it hits me in a wave
We are selling her house next month, God help us

The other night I was lying on the couch and I could smell her.
It wasn't anything in my house, there was a flowery smell coming in from outside

Cynner · 20/08/2012 18:21

I am sorry for your loss...grief affects everyone differently...my beloved dads has been gone 10 years now..I will miss him everyday of my life..

SirChrisHoysThighs · 20/08/2012 18:25

YANBU to be still grieving but don't grieve so long you miss out on your life.

I say this as someone who's DP is still grieving for the grandmother he lost 3 years ago and is living the 'now' in anticipation of when his grandfather goes. He's not living life. It's killing our relationship and he won't accept it.

Miss her, yes. Don't let it consume you.

Original poster
ellathefox · 20/08/2012 18:26

I'm so sorry for everyone's loss. Thank you so much for sharing, I know it's upsetting.

OP posts:
yellowraincoat · 20/08/2012 18:27

Of course you aren't being unreasonable. My gran died suddenly 10 years ago and I still cry about her and miss her.

SoleSource · 20/08/2012 18:30

Yanbu just don't let it consume you. All the best.

PippiLongShocking · 20/08/2012 18:32

My grandparents died 17 and 10 years ago and I still think of them and miss them. Sometimes they are in my dreams.

Haemadoots · 20/08/2012 18:39

Yanbu my gran died 18 years ago and I miss her so much my grandad died 23 years ago and I miss him too, they lived across from our garden (no roads) so I saw them every day as a child, I was very lucky to have such amazing people in my life.

Haemadoots · 20/08/2012 18:40

Pipi I dream of mine too sometimes I feel my gran around me which is nice.

PretzelTime · 20/08/2012 18:54

Of course not OP Sad All the best.

TidyDancer · 20/08/2012 19:03

17 years and counting for me, OP. It gets easier, but it never goes away. I still feel a mixture of sadness that I lost my Nana (I was 11) and happiness that I had her for my early years.

You have my every sympathy. It's hard.

Mrsjay · 20/08/2012 19:05

No it is still raw it is not been long , dont think you are being silly , I lost my nana 19 yrs ago she was like my mum and i still get a bit choked up sometimes,

WelshMaenad · 20/08/2012 19:07

YANBatallU.

My beloved Grandma died when I was eleven. I still feel her loss so keenly, never more so than when my DCs were born. She would have loved them so much.

Oh, I'm off again Sad

It's been a really short time for you, don't be hard on yourself.