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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think I SHOULD have been offered free tickets too?

36 replies

NCForNow · 19/08/2012 21:38

Long story short. My nephew in the Paralympics....he's called his Mum who is my oldest sister yesterday and said he has 4 free tickets aside from the ones he has set aside for her and his Dad...now my Mum was there and immediately said "Oh we'll call Charlotte (middle sister) and she can go with her kids and her DH" and my older sister said "Oh yes ok"

Without either of them even thinking to ask me if I would have liked them for me, DH and our DC.

Sad

Why? I am really hurt for some reason. I just told Mum that my feelings were hurt and she said "Oh well you don't seem to have any money at the moment and your DC are younger...so we assumed you couldn't make it"

It's true we're struggling a bit but we would all have loved to see my DN in the Paralympics and COULD have raised the money for a hotel and train fares.

I just think they could have given me the chance. I told her I was hurt and she kept repeatedly defending her actions instead of saying "Sorry...I should have offered them to you too"

I thought that whovever said they could manage it first...could have had them. I feel really down about it...which is slightly befuddling me too...It's not the end of the world I know...butt it's my birthday a couple of days after the event and it would have been a nice way to celabrate.

WIBU to stick to my guns and tell my Mum she was out of order? I did...and she kept insisting I was being horrible about it.

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 19/08/2012 21:45

Nephew should have said Aunti X and Aunti Y plus one guest each. But he didn't.

WIBU to stick to my guns and tell my Mum she was out of order?

What will this achieve?

Original poster
NCForNow · 19/08/2012 21:49

I meant WAS I being unreasonable not will I. And why would Nephew say that? He just told his Mum that he had 4 tickets free....he's a kid really still.

OP posts:
Original poster
NCForNow · 19/08/2012 21:52

i don't know why this has hurt me so much...it just has.

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Original poster
NCForNow · 19/08/2012 21:56

Please can I have some more input?

OP posts:
Original poster
NCForNow · 19/08/2012 22:03

God this must be a boring AIBU?!

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 19/08/2012 22:04

Did your nephew get a say in who he gave his free tickets to?

Original poster
NCForNow · 19/08/2012 22:06

no...he just said he was leaving them for collection and really left it up to his Mum...my oldest sister...who announced it and then my Mum jumped in on behalf of my other sister.

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JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 19/08/2012 22:08

Well, Nephew isn't concerned who is there TBH. Would have been nice if he'd asked some close friends.

FuckityFuckFuck · 19/08/2012 22:08

She said sorry, repeatedly by the sounds of it.

YANBU to be upset about but let it go now, you have made your point

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 19/08/2012 22:09

Could his Mum have been thinking about it being easier to travel with her, or that she knew her children would be particularly interested.

How old are your dc? If they are quite young I can understand the older ones taking priority.

Original poster
NCForNow · 19/08/2012 22:09

I feel sad that my DC won't get the chance to see him and experience the stadium. It would have been major. AND my sister has already BEEN to the Olympics with her DC...forgot that...she's been and they saw the swimming.

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RubyFakeNails · 19/08/2012 22:10

You're entitled to feel how you want, but it sounds like it was you or your other sister, one of you would have seemed put out either way.

You can't please everybody. This time you came off worse. I think the thing about finances is a good enough reason.

Its done now anyway, move on.

Original poster
NCForNow · 19/08/2012 22:10

No Fuckity she never said sorry! Where did I say that! She said over and ver how she thought we couldn't afford it and my DC are younger.

Freddos mine are 8 and almost 5 and they would have loved it. Other neices are 9 and 10.

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Original poster
NCForNow · 19/08/2012 22:12

ruby but don't you think it should have been up to ME? She has no idea about my finances really....I think the tickets should have been made known and then whoever said they could manage it first, should have taken them.

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CommaChameleon · 19/08/2012 22:12

You are NBU to feel hurt that they assumed without asking, and the fairer thing to do would be for your Mother to have kept out of it and waited for your nephew and his parents to make up their own minds about who to ask.

Does your other sister and her family want to go even? Perhaps she had other plans and is feeling bullied into going.

But now it's done I think you are going to have to let it go, perhaps with one more word to your mother about not assuming you can or can't afford to do something without actually asking you first in the future, as you would have loved to support your nephew and made every effort to fund the trip to do so.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 19/08/2012 22:12

You should only feel sad about your dc getting to see it and experience the stadium if you were trying to get tickets anyway. If you weren't dissapointed about that before the mention of free tickets came up, then maybe you have no real reason to be dissapointed now.

Maybe your sister thought of your other sister because she knew she was interested because she had already been.

Original poster
NCForNow · 19/08/2012 22:14

Freddos I know what you're saying.

It IS done now. I told mum that we'd forget it....but she was annoyed that I was upset and I wanted to see if I was unreasonable. I never shouted...just clearly siad that it would have been fairer to give me a chance too.

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JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 19/08/2012 22:15

it's my birthday a couple of days after the event and it would have been a nice way to celabrate.

IS this actually about seeing your nephew or an extended birthday celebration?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 19/08/2012 22:15

No, it shouldn't have been up to you, they weren't your tickets. They were your sisters tickets because your nephew offered them to her.

Maybe your other sister has shown more interest in the nephew, or he has a close relationship with his cousins from her perhaps?

rhondajean · 19/08/2012 22:16

Whoever said they could manage first - ie you who was in the room?

Then your other sister would be on here saying they never even told me there were tickets, just stitched it up between themselves...Grin

Original poster
NCForNow · 19/08/2012 22:16

Jumping...both really. Would that be wrong?

Freddo...no. My other sister never visits!

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Original poster
NCForNow · 19/08/2012 22:17

rhonda I wasn't in the room! Neither was. They could have phoned both...asked how we were fixed financially and with work...maybe left t up to us to sort out together...

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RubyFakeNails · 19/08/2012 22:17

No I don't think it should have been up to you. It was their decision and as I said it couldn't be both of you.

You wouldn't have though the process was unfair if they had picked you and not your other sister. If it was you, you would have had no qualms how they made their decision.

This time it didn't go your way, move on.

Original poster
NCForNow · 19/08/2012 22:18

freddos...my nephew told his Mum there were free tickets...then MY mum jumped in and offered them to my OTHER sister.

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CommaChameleon · 19/08/2012 22:19

I don't think the OP meant she should have the final say about who got the tickets when she said it should have been up to her.

I think she meant if the decision was based on her finances then the decision about whether she could afford to go should have been up to her, rather than the assumption being made that she couldn't so no point in asking.