AIBU to think I SHOULD have been offered free tickets too?

[NCForNow]

Long story short. My nephew in the Paralympics....he's called his Mum who is my oldest sister yesterday and said he has 4 free tickets aside from the ones he has set aside for her and his Dad...now my Mum was there and immediately said "Oh we'll call Charlotte (middle sister) and she can go with her kids and her DH" and my older sister said "Oh yes ok"

Without either of them even thinking to ask me if I would have liked them for me, DH and our DC.

Why? I am really hurt for some reason. I just told Mum that my feelings were hurt and she said "Oh well you don't seem to have any money at the moment and your DC are younger...so we assumed you couldn't make it"

It's true we're struggling a bit but we would all have loved to see my DN in the Paralympics and COULD have raised the money for a hotel and train fares.

I just think they could have given me the chance. I told her I was hurt and she kept repeatedly defending her actions instead of saying "Sorry...I should have offered them to you too"

I thought that whovever said they could manage it first...could have had them. I feel really down about it...which is slightly befuddling me too...It's not the end of the world I know...butt it's my birthday a couple of days after the event and it would have been a nice way to celabrate.

WIBU to stick to my guns and tell my Mum she was out of order? I did...and she kept insisting I was being horrible about it.

Sorry I misread and thought you were there too!

I can see that you're hurt, but TBH if I had free tickets to something to give to a sibling, I know which ones I would choose. I also suspect my DM would choose some over others - because of their behaviour.

I don't know about your relationship with you DSiss, or with your DM, but I am far closer to one DSis than to the others (in fact would be quite happy to have absolutely nothing to do with one of them!).

OK, she didn't say sorry but she has explained her reasoning.

At this point, bearing in mind nobody has said YABU to be upset, it is done. Unless you want to go to your other sister and demand the tickets because you should have been offered them, there is not a lot you can do.

You win some, you lose some

Ok, sorry, got a bit confused!

Either way, I think YABU. It's understandable that you are dissapointed, but I think that if there was a particular reason for you to be there over your sister then you would have been offered them immediately anyway. One of you was going to miss out.

Family dynamics are complicated. There could be any number of reasons why your mum thought of your sister before you when the subject of free tickets came up, but there doesn't seem to be reason to believe that it's a snub against you in any way. It's probably something as simple as your Mum knowing your sister was interested because she knew she had already been.

Your mum couldn't offer the tickets to both of you. Choosing your sister because her children are older sounds sensible. 5 is a bit young to sit through some of the events, I'd have offered them to your sister as well.
Offering the tickets to both of you and letting you fight it out would be silly. Your mum had to choose one of you and she chose your sister. If you knew your nephew was in an event and hadn't tried to get tickets before now you can't be that bothered as the paralympic tickets aren't that expensive. It's the staying in London bit that is expensive.

Feel bad now.

I think I'm a bit down because I'm heading for 40 or something.

I think the problem is that the decision was taken out of OP's hands, and as such she quite rightly feels disempowered, overlooked and undervalued. I have no idea how to resolve this, but YANBU. Have a very un mumsnetty hug x

OP I know your sister got free tickets but you could still go and see your DN as there are still tickets on sale for paraolympics and they are not expensive' In fact they are only £5 for each for children and young people under 25. DH,me and DD3 are going to the Atheletics and we only paid £45 for all 3 of us, Our tickets were £20 each.

Are the tickets really the issue or is it because you feel your sister was "picked" over you?

mumeeee's suggestion is good if it genuinely is the lack of tickets.

I don't think YABU to feel hurt, I know that I was really hurt when my Dad was given his OBE and took my younger brother and sister along but not Myself or my older brother, giving us no say in the matter. There ahve been numerous occassions where I feel that my younger siblings have been "prefered" over me but resenting it doesn't change anything. Trust me, you will feel better if you move on and get on with your life rather than brooding over it. Sometimes these things just are, nothing you can do will change it. Even if next time they changed the way they did things, I know that I would feel that they had only done so because I had made a fuss and not because they wanted to. I hope you have a great birthday regardless - and yell yourself hoarse screaming at the tv!!

I think your mum probably thought the older grandchildren would enjoy it more. Nothing to do with whether she favours you or your sister.

People kept saying 'Chance of a lifetime' about taking young children to the Olympics, but I know of a nearly 7 yr old who really struggled at the athletics in the stadium. After about an hour, he lost interest and found the unpredictable roars of encouragement from the spectators quite upsetting.

It's not like watching it on TV. You need binoculars to see what is happening and often two or three things are going on at the same time.