To not be a helicopter mummy at soft play?

[WelshMaenad]

I'm at soft play with dc's (6 and 2). There's a sign on the large play frame saying under threes can use it if ACCOMPANIED by an adult. There are parents actually following their perfectly capable toddlers through foam rollers and sitting in the ball pool.

I am refusing to engage in this madness and am on a sofa with a coffee. I am being glared at as though I were a butcher of small children. DS is part spidermonkey, very capable of negotiating large playframe alone, and I do have a vague idea of where he is. Also, my dd is disabled and probably needs my attention more! AIBU?

If my child was bitten by a two year old I was say "Oh diddums" to them and send them back on their way.

Even dd2 who is semi feral knows she is not allowed to retaliate against children that young, so I am confident the 2yo would also survive.

Happy, no. Accepting that these things happen when kids get together, yes. My daughter was bitten at nursery with a 1:3 staff ratio.

I'm with you Welsh. Shame we aren't around the corner. We could send our feral kids into the hell that is soft play whilst having a good natter over a cuppa.

"Oh diddums" and send them on their way .
Jeez do you have any idea how painful a bite can be?

Come to south Wales emandlu. we'll have to go to a different soft play though.

I just think you need to use your common sense (shocking idea I know). yesterday DH and I kept a general eye on our 2 as they are now 5 and 7 , however when I used to take them and DC1 and 2 when they were a lot smaller I did keep a closer eye. However you can do that whilst relaxing a bit and enjoying a cuppa.

Oh and OP if you are in the Cardiff area maybe we could arrange a feral kids softplay meetup

Hobnobs I am not very far from Cardiff AT ALL...

Well OP, I'm in awe of your effortlessly superb parenting skills. They really are breathtaking, unlike those evil, stupid parents who play on the equipment with their toddlers and follow them around- the idiots!

Thank you for setting such a shining example to us all.

hmm, after watching my friends 2 year old get a broken arm after not moving from the bottom of a slide and having a 7 (ish) year old land on them I'm quite careful.

Why do you think the sign is there?

As an aside though there's a huge difference between just 2 and nearly 3 and the type of soft play it is. Ours has waterfall slides and big drops a two year old can fall, but I know another where I leave him as the set up is smaller and the kids younger

Are you JUMPing for joy this morning?

YANBU. I would class sitting near the play area, having an idea where he is as supervising him.

Enjoy your cuppa.

Yabu...lazy parenting. Other parents feel the need to 'helicopter' because of parents like you not supervising your child well enough.

No, I'm driving myself NUTS.

Depends wholly on the child and temperment

YANBU, OP. I certainly do not follow my children into the play area at soft play. They play alone and DS1 who is 7 will assist DS2 (4) and DD (2) if need be. The whole point of soft play is for them to play and for me to drink coffee and view from afar.

They have never been bitten, stamped on or hurt other than the odd bump and am fairly confident that they have not bit or stamped on any other children.

By acompanied by does that not just mean you can't leave the children and go shopping elsewhere?
I refuse point blank to actually go into the soft play part; it makes my clostraphobic, and I'm scared of heights. I've done it once, never again I'm under the impression flame away that I'd your DC are capable of climbing and dont need assistance, then there really is not need to crawl after them.
I take a book and drink coffee.
OP YANBU

frustrated following that argument, does the notice imply you can leave over threes and go shopping? Of course not. I would maybe be happy to leave a 2 year old in the toddler area and sit close by, but not a larger play frame that as this notice on it.

I am dreading the time when my baby is no longer content in the little baby section and wants to follow her brothers in to the big section and I have to follow her around. OP YANBU

Really depends on your view of the differences between helicoptering; knowing where they are and what they are doing and being prepared to intervene but not doing it all with them; and ignoring completely.
I sit in the second bracket - I don't climb over all the equipment with dd any more (now 3.5. I did when she was too small to do even the one designated for toddlers by herself) but I know where she is and I follow around the outside of the netting as she moves from one part of the soft play to another (our local one is mahoosive with more than one exit - no way would I leave her to just go off on her own yet). I follow her on some bits of it, other bits (like the toddler bit) I sit nearby and watch. Haven't yet braved going to get a cuppa and reading - mainly because I get so absorbed in books I'd worry I'd lose track of her.

However, watched a spectacular piece of ignoring going on the other day - the soft play has one of those slides with a (very) small vertical drop at the top, ending in a ball pool. A few people had had turns (I was idly watching as dd was playing in the toddler bit next to me) and suddenly a toddler popped up from the ball pool and started to climb up the slide. He got half way up to where there's a horiztonal bit, and stopped. No sign of parents anywhere. No-one could go down the slide, no-one had any idea who he belonged to so no-one could go and fetch parents, no-one liked to get him themselves (what do you do then with a child you don't know?), and I have no idea how long he'd been in the ball pool but at least 2 people must have gone down - how he wasn't hurt (and how they didn't spot him) I don't know. He was under the height of the balls so it explains why people outside didn't see him but, how, just how??

Someone went off to get a member of staff but Dad turned up just before she did and retrieved him.
Now that is lax. And dangerous. And if you are ignoring your child to that degree while deriding everyone else for helicoptering then that would be VU!!

I play on the equipment with ds. - because despite him being the most outgoing child in the world, he is terrified of soft play centr

Posted too soon

*centres and won't let me leave his side. He is 2 and perfectly capable of navigating the equipment on his own (he can climb all up the big climbs and slides at the park no problem).

I would love to sit and have a cup of tea and supervise from a distance. Instead I'm the parent trying to encourage the child to get into the ball pool by lying in it myself.

OP. I think YANBU. I'm sure you are more than capable than judging how your own children deal with situations like this.

So children can get pushy etc. 10 year olds could do this in soft play, does that mean we should all follow them around just in case they push another child or get into some sort of altercation with another child?

We have 2 soft play areas where I live. One is enormous and I do get a but weay when DS (4.6) goes in there as there are a lot of older children, but I am not going to follow him around everywhere, he knows where I am and he comes back every so often, they also have a dedicated under 3 area that has a gate so I take DD in there and let her go. I know she can't get out of the gate and she is in my sight most of the time. The other soft play is a lot smaller and you can sit on the sofas or even on a nearby table and be able to see most of it. Yes there are bits that aren't directly in your lone of sight at all times but I am certainly not going to follow my children around. DD is a bit young anyway (18 months) but when I feel she is capable enough then I will let her go in.